This is my first posting, so please bare with me.
For 15 years I was diagnosed with GAD and depression. I have been on many different meds over the years and they would work for awhile, but then would just stop.
So finally in Oct. I went to a new doctor and she decided that I was bipolar and had been misdiagnosed. I have alot of the symptoms of both GAD and Bipolar and have always suffered from depression also. At this point I just feel like no one really knows what the answer is.
Well then we changed the meds AGAIN. Well here goes another vicious cycle. I am on lithium (600 mg) , lexapro (10) and Klonopin. On this I still don't feel "NORMAL"-- I am very forgetful, I have ABSOLUTELY no energy, I am losing weight because I can't swallow, I am very weak and the panic attacks are coming back. This past week I just tried lamictal, but the side effects were so bad I had to stop it. I know it supposedly will get better, but I couldn't work like that. I guess I am really wondering what my real diagnosis is. If anyone has any suggestions of what I should try I would be so greatful.
At one point my pdoc considered bipolar for me as well. Does bipolar "ring true" for you? Do a search to find a "do I have bipolar" quiz thing and see what you think. Also, what does your psychologist think? And if your pdoc didn't say WHY she thinks bipolar, ask. For me I thought it was laughable. It took me a while to figure out why my doc even suggested it--I had PPD (which was all anxiety) and then a bout of can't-get-out-of-bed depression--so then it made sense. But I'm not. Diagnosing is an art as much as it is a science.
Wow, you are on a ton of meds. If you don't mind me saying, I actually believe you are on too many. The lithium alone must just zap the life out of you let alone a SSRI, mood stabilizer and an anti-anxiety.
I have also been diagnosed with depression, anxiety and OCD which I truly believe is my case but I have also had two psychiatric evaluation with a diagnosis of bi-polar and was prescribed Lamictal from one psychiatrist and Lithium from another. To this day, I am so glad I did not fill those prescriptions.
10 years ago, in my teens, I was diagnosed with depression and was put on Prozac and later went to Paxil to help my anxiety and OCD. I started on 10mg/day for 2 weeks went back to my doctor and he would ask me how I felt and I would respond, "not much better", and he put me to 20mg/day for another 2 weeks and I would go back and he would ask me the same question in which I would reply, "not much better". I ended up on 80 mg/day.
In hindsight, I believe I reached a point in which it wasn't going to get any better even by increasing my dose. I was the same at 40mg as I was at 80mg. Quite possibly that was as content as my brain was going to be but I was expecting more and wanted a drug that was going to make me permanently happy or completely change me.
I believe, by nature, that my individual personality and character was not meant to be unrealisticly happy which was what I was trying to obtain.
Do you relate at all to the above? Do you feel that you are trying to achieve a state of mental well-being that may be unrealistic?
susiecue please forgive me for horning in on yalls thread but your post definately struck a cord with me. I definately feel that I also am one of those that will never be truely happy but I know that there is something better than this. I watch our friends and think to myself man why can't I be more like them. The constant worrying is probably my biggest problem.
Steph I am in the same boat as you. I have GAD and depression but sometimes also think I have personality disorder. Good luck to you!
Yes. Where diagnosing mental illness is concerned, there is no science to it at all. For me, to a great extent, I've come to trust mySELF when it comes to medication. I would hate to think of what I would be like today had I taken all of the drugs that were prescribed to me over the years. I'd probably be dead. Although I do take medication, I always gear it to how it makes me feel. If it helps, I take it. If it doesn't, I don't. Doctors throughout the years have been persistant in trying to talk me into taking stuff. Now I tell them straight out, don't waste your breath. Of course, there are times when a depression is so bad that I know I need help. But still, the bottom line is that I am the expert on myself. I know when something is working and when something isn't. So my suggestion would be that if the medication isn't helping, trust yourself to know that.