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Old 02-26-2008, 03:42 AM   #1
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David B66 HB User
living with somebody with depression...

Recently my wifes doctor said she has depression, ( I could have told him that) I fully believe this. I dont think she believes this though, We fight alot she is very argumentive not only with me but with our 2 kids as well; I feel that this is going to break up our life together, it dos'nt matter what I say or do I'am all ways in the wrong. She continually puts herself down saying everybody hates her and thinks she is stupid, if I say that she is'nt it starts a fight,at times I think she might be suicidal saying that she would be better off dead. We fight about little things and big things, it dos'nt seem to matter. What can I do? I work 2 jobs; originally to pay the bills, but now I think I do it to stay out of the way. Please help us...

 
Old 02-26-2008, 04:17 AM   #2
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Re: living with somebody with depression...

first of all i feel for you i too was in a marriage with a man that had severe depression...i say was bc we eventually divorced not just because of the depression there were other things involved...and by the time he was diagnosed it was really too late bc all the damage from other things wrong with him had already occurred...unforgivable things that i myself could not work through tho i tried ever so hard..i sympathized and supported him in every way that i could even financially when he finally could not even work a steady job...that is another story tho...my reply to you is make sure she takes her meds when she is supposed to and if they dont seem to be working then go back to the doctor until she finds the right meds to deal with her depression and she needs a professional to talk to about her feelings on a regular basis...someone unbiased to her situation...this is very important..no matter how much you love someone you cannot do this alone...for the sake of your marriage and your children this poor woman needs help..and soon..not just medication...there is no miracle pill it only helps....i do not want to see another marriage go down the drain because of this terrible situation that takes a toll on the whole family not just her and you might consider help for you and your children as well..this is not her fault yet she needs to take responsibility for her problem and her family...i will pray for you and yours...remember this "if God brings you to it, he will bring you through it"..don't know who said that but i love the meaning and i try and live by it...good luck to you
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Old 02-26-2008, 04:49 AM   #3
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David B66 HB User
Re: living with somebody with depression...

Thank You for your kind words.

 
Old 02-26-2008, 06:00 PM   #4
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lv2srf HB User
Re: living with somebody with depression...

Oh, I could be "your wife" etc. 2 kids, you my husband with the long hours, me with the depression/anger. I'm sorry you're having to live with "me" before I finally gave up and stayed on meds. That was after I was fed up with you and asked you to leave.

Is she willing to take meds? How old are your children? IMO, counseling before meds if she is angry and depressed all the time will be throwing money away. A depressed brain just thinks exactly the way you described, no matter the evidence to show otherwise. It'll be like dragging the boat upstream, backwards, with her paddling the other direction. I'm sure you have an idea of what I mean. Oh, I mean couples counseling before meds would be like throwing money away. She maybe should see a counselor on her own some, and maybe you want to see one as well. It's very difficult to live with someone who is depressed without getting dragged down into it as well, unless you have some kind of support for you.

As that depressed wife person, know that under all the anger and stuff are her feeling of care for you. I'm sure it must get old sticking your head in the lioness's mouth and getting bitten.

 
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