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Old 05-20-2008, 07:24 AM   #1
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How do go about telling your family about your depression?

those of you who have read my other posts, know that my main person to talk to what is going on in my life is my friend and pastor. We've also included a lady that I greatly trust in my church as part of my support system. We were talking the other day and they asked if I had told my mom what is going on. The answer is no. What I want to know is how do you tell your family that you were thinking about suicide and are now on antidepressants? I feel like if I tell her, that I'm just admitting defeat. That I'm disappointing her. That I'll hurt her. Even though I now live 5 hours away, we talk almost every week. We get along great, but I just can't bring myself to tell her.

~blue

 
Old 05-20-2008, 01:08 PM   #2
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Re: How do go about telling your family about your depression?

Quote:
Originally Posted by bluedog139 View Post
What I want to know is how do you tell your family that you were thinking about suicide and are now on antidepressants? I feel like if I tell her, that I'm just admitting defeat. That I'm disappointing her. That I'll hurt her. Even though I now live 5 hours away, we talk almost every week. We get along great, but I just can't bring myself to tell her.

~blue
Hello Blue,

Imagine if she hears the news from another party, instead of you.

What you are doing is called recovering and are doing so for your well being.

Any loving parent is going to show concern; you have to at least expect that.

Have a face-to-face talk with her and try bringing some literature with you, so she can be better educated on what depression is.

If your relationship is as good as you say, things should not go as bad as you think.

Take care.

Phoenix

 
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Old 05-21-2008, 07:59 AM   #3
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Re: How do go about telling your family about your depression?

I agree... your mom loves you and may surprise you with her reaction. Mine only realized how bad my depression was when she came to see me in the ER after I attempted suicide this past weekend. She sat down and said "Been there, done this, sweetie. I love you." It was the first time I knew that she had also attempted many years ago (before I was born) and I am in my late 30's. We have to break the cycle of secrecy.

Your mom might not fully understand, but she will still love you regardless. And it's NOT admitting defeat, it's admitting that you are taking your recovery seriously. {{{big hugs}}} to you.

Last edited by MeInNC; 05-21-2008 at 08:01 AM.

 
Old 05-21-2008, 07:49 PM   #4
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Re: How do go about telling your family about your depression?

Hi Blue,

You can tell your Mom about your depression without telling her of your suicidal thoughts. Tell her how you've been feeling, depressed, and that you are getting help for it. She does not need to know all the details.

Just my opinion,

Best wishes,

JB

 
Old 05-22-2008, 09:10 AM   #5
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Re: How do go about telling your family about your depression?

This is something I struggle with. I know the people around me want to help but there is a part of me that wants to basically protect them from my illness nor do I want to cause more worry in them.

My family knows that I am sick but to what extent is something that I tend to keep hidden obviously there are times when it becomes obvious such as the two long visits to the psych ward plus there are days I am so completely on edge that either I do not answer the phone or the conversation is basically one word answers from my end.

On the other hand I have been trying to teach those close to me about the disorders that I have so they will be in a better position to help if or when the time is needed. It is a balancing act but the more people who are on your side fighting for you the better off you are.

take care
trg247
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Major Depressive Disorder With Psychotic Features
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Old 05-22-2008, 11:00 AM   #6
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Re: How do go about telling your family about your depression?

Your mom may have noticed a change in your demeanor and may be concerned about you and your health. Perhaps she is afraid to bring it up to you. If you tell her that you are suffering from depression she may be very relieved to know what's really going on.

 
Old 05-22-2008, 11:38 AM   #7
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Re: How do go about telling your family about your depression?

My mom probably knows somethings been up (or should I say, down) with me. Mother's intuition and all. I haven't been home since Christmas and won't get a chance until September. I know I need to tell her. Just not sure I can right now. And if and when I tell her, I feel like she needs to know the whole story not just bits and pieces. I just don't know how to tell her. I feel like if I just blurt it all out, it might be too much. sigh.

~blue

 
Old 05-22-2008, 12:25 PM   #8
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Re: How do go about telling your family about your depression?

I think that is a pretty personal issue and best to keep to those closest to you that can support you but I see no need to tell mom or anyone if a person wishes to keep it to themselves. All mom cares is that you are doing better and taking care of your depression. If she wants to know she will ask but you don't see her on a daily basis or live close enough for her to do anything about it then I don't see the point... she will be just glad you yourself got help. Good luck.

 
Old 05-23-2008, 11:09 AM   #9
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Re: How do go about telling your family about your depression?

I agree. I have 2 children who live several hours away by plane. One of them has previous suicide attempts. I do not need to know every detail of their life. Of course I want to know if they are not doing well but in reality there is not a lot I can do. Neither one is ready to move back here. It would be different if we were living near each other.

What I would suggest is that unless you want to move back by your mother, you tell her only about the depression and the counseling. If she asks about the thoughts then you can tell her. It seems that you have a support system there and it wouldn't serve any purpose to make your mom worry. Godbless

 
Old 05-23-2008, 04:19 PM   #10
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Re: How do go about telling your family about your depression?

I told my mom last night. I started by telling her that I have been on antidepressants for 7 weeks and went from there. I told her as much as I felt I could, though I didn't expressly say I was suicidal, but I know she knows that is what I was talking about. She knows that I'm having issues and that's where I choose to leave it. This was the second hardest thing I've ever done.

Thank you all for your support and input.

 
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