I hope everybody's well. It's been a while since I've posted in here, just busy working.
For some reason, I can't seem to shake this cloud that surrounds me lately. I am getting older. It's showing on my face, my body, my mind gets cloudy at times and I seem to forget more things lately. I'm starting to withdraw from the world and if it wasn't for work, I wouldn't even go out my home. I try to instill certain activities that makes me go out and see other people such as going to the gym, volunteering at the local food bank. But other than that, I go back home and withdraw. I'd be satisfied with a blanket over my head all day, everyday if I allow it.
I've been tired a lot lately and very sensitive about my age, tearful, actually. For some reason my upcoming birthday and the age that goes with it is just making me depressed.
Then the other day, someone called me "old" when at times, I've been mistaken as an older sister to my young son, he just graduated college two years ago. These guys who called me old were a group of 4 guys who I know through a friend. Two of them aren't much younger than me. One of them asked me to help him start off his business by me exposing and breaking the confidentiality of the company I work for, and possibly me loosing my job. I turned him down gently and said that I can't or I'll loose my job.
But for no reason and without me provoking them, they started attacking me with hurtful words, calling me old. I know they're just words, but they're still hurtful.
I can't seem to shake this dark cloud that hangs over me. I've been working-out to get my seratonin up, everything from going to spinning class to the treadmill, free weights, eating right - well, except for the half of container of Bryers the other night and eating a lot of food. I mean, if you were to give me fried chicken I can eat 4 pieces of chicken with mashed potatoes and gravy, biscuit and coleslaw.
I don't know if anybody has any advice on my issue and my depression. I've even thought of seeing a psychiatrist to get some drug to help me get over this cloud. I really don't want to take medication for my depression and I know they help. I took Prozac for 8 months when I was going through my divorce. But that was the only time I'd used some form of drug for depression. In the past, I seem to shake it off by working out, getting out more and allowing myself to wallow in the depression so I can get over it.