Matt321

I have been having what seems to be a neurological disorder that I was completely unaware of. I haven't fully expressed my joy for something in over a year. Never feeling as myself (I've had a couple very brief "awakening" moments while getting off atenolol). I took atenolol over this period of time to help my blood pressure and anxiety(panicattacks).

I feel/felt like my selfworth was gone and would go out of my way for just the smallest tasks at work or for anyone I had never met before. I had just failed my classes finishing up high school and stopped caring about my appearance without even noticing until now, appearance used to be/is a BIG thing in my life. I care what people think, I want to care what people think of me. It's like I can't even see myself in my own mirror, if you know what I mean? Like I just can't register things.

My brain processing hasn't been working great apparently and I really would like to get back to who I really am(I hope I don't sound too crazy). One of the side effects for atenolol would be depression, which could explain how my brain has not been functioning?

I have never considered suicide or ever felt bad for myself in any way, I could care less about attention or a trivial sadness.
I figure I could ask around here to find out if I could knock this off the list of possible ailment I may be having.
This very well could be something along the lines of a sist on the brain or a tumor. I will be checking into this will full detail. My father suffered from a sist on his brain. Thank you all for reading and I will be checking back here quite frequently until I can get to my new doctor's.

much love, matt.