Hi there. I'm just looking for a few shoulders to lean on through my battle with depression. I was diagnosed in 2005 after the birth of my son, but my doctors now figure I've been suffering from depression for about 20 years (I always suspected it, but nobody would listen to me...). I was pretty stable on Wellbutrin and Effexor until about 2 months ago, when I couldn't deal with being exhausted all the time any longer. Since then, my doctor has tried Celexa and Mirtrazapine, without success. Today I start on Trazadone (along with the Wellbutrin that I was always on). I'm pretty much at the end of my rope, and really need to know that there are others out there like me, and I'm not crazy. Sometimes (like today) I just feel like I can't continue on any longer. I'm afraid to let anyone know how close I am to the end of my rope. I suspect that my husband is reaching the end of his patience with this whole deal, and may be considering leaving. If this is the case, I certainly don't want my illness to be a custody issue, since my parenting skills are just fine. Is there any one else out there who feels like I do???
I suspect the doctor is adding the trazadone for sleep issues. If that is the case it should help with the exhaustion. Finding the right meds for depression unfortunately can be a matter of trial and error and some drugs do lose their effectiveness after a while, but don't give up! I have also suffered from major depression for over 30 years, and it took a long time to find the right meds, but it can be done. Talking with your husband and explaining how you are feeling might help, keeping in mind that someone who does not have depression even though they try to understand, sometimes they just don't really get it. Has he come with you to any of your doctor appointments? Maybe having your doctor explain or talk with him might help. It's just as frustrating for him, as if he does love you it's hard for him because he can't help you. My husband is really supportive and he gets frustrated because he justs wants to take this away. What about therapy? Are you seeing a therapist? Believe me, I was exactly where you are, and you can get to a more "level" place. Don't give up dear.
Thanks for your reply!! I am currently on the "waiting list" to see a psychiatrist. Unfortunately Canada's health care system sucks! Yes, treatment is free, but its very hard to get, and the waiting lists are ridiculous. Right now I'm being told its a 6 month wait to get a first appt with the psychiatrist. Before I moved to a new town, I had been on various waiting lists for psychiatrists, psychologists, etc, but just kept getting the run-around. THat wen't on for more than 2 years. And I never did get in to see anyone...
It sounds like you have your illness under control, which is great. It also sounds like your husband is very supportive, which is also great. Do you have any children? My husband has come around a bit to the whole concept of depression as an illness. I've been with my husband since I was 17, and my dad was bi-polar, so my husband always had a hard time believing this was an illness rather than a personality flaw. Since I was officially diagnosed in 2005, he is trying to come to term with the fact that it is a disease. He has been to a few doctors appts with me. I know he is trying...
Please keep in touch! Its great to have someone to talk to who understands...
And I never did get in to see anyone...
