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Old 08-26-2008, 06:02 PM   #1
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Join Date: Aug 2008
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AliceT HB User
a little braver

I am new to this forum and posted a brief and general story of my depression. It doesn't really commit to much information I know...I find it hard to discuss my condition sometimes (other times I can be quite bold and reveal a lot)
But I just had a look and 25 people had viewed my story. Its a funny feeling but I feel like I have someone watching over for me, even if no comments were made, I don't know you and you're possibly on the other side of the world! Maybe it helps me to be a little braver.
My story involves sexual assault. Something that I have never discussed with anyone. But it did come out to the psychiatrist that I see. He was very good at guiding me through it. But I find it just as hard to cope with the fact that he knows as I did with coping with the actual events. There are times when I cringe and want to curl up just at the thought that I have discussed it with him...has anyone else felt this type of thing?

 
Old 08-27-2008, 05:14 AM   #2
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trisha666 HB User
Re: a little braver

hey Alice, im trisha, and ive been a victim of rape also. mine occured three years ago and they were never caught. i know what you mean about discussing it with anyone, its a topic that you want to forget but cant as it has a habit of creeping up and biting you on the bum. its good there are sites like this though because you can open up and talk without having to see another persons reaction. i attended councilling but i cant get it out of my system and my partner of six years couldnt cope anymore with my mood swings and walked out yesterday. things are really bad for me at the moment as my dad is dying of cancer and i have to put on a brave face around my family as they are all falling to pieces. ive tried to take my own life 3 times but now im just trying to be strong for my lovely dad [whom i worship]. depression is just as debillitating as any illness though, so if you need to talk to anyone i will be here for you and better than that, i am on the other side of the world. hugs Trisha.

 
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Old 08-27-2008, 05:48 PM   #3
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Join Date: Aug 2008
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Posts: 109
AliceT HB User
Re: a little braver

Hi Trisha, you poor poppet - so much going on. Life does challenge us doesnt it but I do firmly beleive that challenge makes us stronger, better people although its just so hard to grasp that idea when you're in the middle of it. Hang in there. I'm sorry to hear about your partner. that it one of the hardest things, when your support person cant support you anymore (what ever the reason, I am not here to judge).
I find that my depression lifts a little and then drops again but if I stop and think about it it's a little better each time. I hope this might be the case for you too.
I think that is oneof the challenges for people who have not been in this position, trying to understand how rape follows you for the rest of your life and as you said pops up to "bite you on the bum".
I ahve, in a way, accepted what happened to me. I still cant talk about it. I find it difficult that my doctor knows and occassionally, where necessary, brings it up. Maybe thats why I am here; to practise accepting it...
trisha, dont let the rapist control the rest of your life, other wise he wins...this is not a battle that you willingly entered into.

Last edited by AliceT; 08-31-2008 at 05:07 AM.

 
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