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Old 08-27-2008, 03:09 PM   #1
(male)
 
Join Date: Aug 2008
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Worried, nervous , feeling asleep all the time

hi there , I need your advice,
Where should I start ? I am 58 years old , male and in good physical health.
The good news;
I have just about enough money , no debts , own my own comfortable home, am building a great holiday home overseas. Get on well with my wife of 30+ years, 3 kids , all doing well and very close to me. i look okay and feel confident of my own erudition and level of education.
The bad news;
Everyday of my life so far is painful , I feel terrible all the time. When i was much younger I thought that ," things would get better ". They never have . I am conscious of the notion that ,i should " count my blessings ".Don't get me wrong , I am incredibly humbled by being so fortunate with my material and family situation. The fact is that it is only my immediate family the stop me from " fading away ". This is a terrible legacy to leave your nearest and dearest so i'm forced to continue.
The main problem;

My parents were not very affectionate , i grew up feeling like some kind of usurper , like the third of two children, most unwanted. I saw some violence between my older brother ( 8 years ) , when i was about 7. My school reports
looking back changed at that point. Till now i am terrified of everything, don't remember the past , can't cope with aggression or pressure and am almost unemployable as I am so nervy and forgetful.

I have lots of coping strategies but am just passing the time , getting through each gruesome day.
I have had group therapy ( 5 years ) , some courses of SSRI's and private therapy. I'm still the same.
I feel like i'm asleep and just need waking up.

In 1973 I was involved in a small tryst with a pals wife , it was initiated by , under the nose of her husband. I was a shocked , but willing participant . For the two subsequent days my mind was completely clear but fog returned. This sounds mad ,I know.

 
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Old 09-03-2008, 03:45 PM   #2
Senior Veteran
(male)
 
Join Date: Oct 2006
Posts: 735
Seymour93 HB User
Re: Worried, nervous , feeling asleep all the time

"Hope Therapy" is gathering enthusiasm. This type of therapy stresses hope and goals.

 
Old 09-03-2008, 04:07 PM   #3
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(female)
 
Join Date: Jan 2002
Posts: 2,369
AnnD HB UserAnnD HB User
Re: Worried, nervous , feeling asleep all the time

Not sure if there is a question here? but gosh if you haven't been able to move on emotionally since your past of so very long ago then I'm not so sure what you can do. You have to be willing to let go of the things you perceived to be so devastating 50 years ago...most adults can look back on childhood and understand you were thinking with a childs eyes/emotions and learn to let go by becoming an adult to see things differently. Having a consensual sexual experience with a women...in 1978? was that a bad thing?..that was pretty common in the 70's.

 
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