I dont really know how to begin this post. For years now ive been in a total rutt due to depression. Im losing my memory, ability to concentrate, I hardly talk any more - any because of this - everything im trying in life is failing. I just graduated from college and looking for a job. I cant even begin to thing how hard it is going to be working while im so depressed.
Ive lost most of my friends mostly because I i find it difficult to talk to anyone any more and im in a crap mood most of the time. I havent had a gf for ages because of the same reason. I just want to be happy again and feel like I used to. My best friend died 2 years ago and he was probably the only person I could really talk to. Its my birthday today - first time ive had my bday in my home country for 4 years with my family and "friends". My sister organized a dinner with some of my friends and her friends and most of my friends didnt even pitch. Afterwards we were going to go to a bar and not one of my "friends" even came. It was so pathetic standing at the bar on my brithday with my sister and all of her friends. My life is pathetic.
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I dont know what to do. Ive been to a therapist who prescribed me anti depressants. I dont want meds. Meds to me is failure. Every person should be entitled to happiness. I am totally devoid of it. I cant remember the last time when my smile felt real and my laughter felt natural. How do you find happiness?
Last edited by Administrator; 09-08-2008 at 12:10 AM.
Happy Birthday. I can relate to what you are saying as I have to been there. I have never had many friends myself however it is possible to find happiness.
you really should talk to someone and soon. A doctor can help by prescribing meds. If it wasn't for meds I don't know where I would have ended up. I know how you feel about not wanting to take them. I had the same reservations about it,it was really hard but well worth it. Medication makes a world of difference for me. You shouldn't reject the idea. You can get through this with some support and help. Don't be afraid to reach out. Kind regards
Last edited by Administrator; 09-08-2008 at 12:11 AM.
Well the chemical you need for happiness is missing and you need to replace that chemical in the form of medicine. I'm not really sure why people/you who are depressed aren't willing to try some medicines just as you would seek medical treatment for a broken leg. \
Your brain is broken and it is within your power to fix it. Even some mothers that have given birth have temporarily lost that chemical and need some replacement so they can get better and be there for their kids. Good luck.
Last edited by Administrator; 09-08-2008 at 12:12 AM.
We all want happiness without meds, counseling, etc, but for some of us that just isn't going to happen. Like someone said, some of us have brains that just don't produce the right chemicals. Taking meds does not make one a failure.
How to find happiness? Do whatever it takes to work through your problems and find the real, happy you hiding inside. That may mean counseling, medication, seeing a psych......
When you are young...it is hard to hear those things...if money, insurance, etc is a problem........I konw, I"ve been there........so I hope that you have the means to find what you need...
Hi Ice2! First of all, and I'm no expert, I do know that if you have a family predisposition to depression, it could affect you also. Secondly, you mentioned that you lost your best friend a couple of years ago. That would cause a major depression in anyone's life. Have you discussed this in depth with a counselor? You may possibly be still grieving. I lost someone very close to me over 25 years ago and it still hurts me at times. Believe me, the years can heal, but in my own case it took over 10 years to make peace with what happened to that person. If a person takes medication for something that needs treatment, it's no crime. Try not to be so hard on yourself--you're only human! Sometimes talk therapy can be hard at first, but then again growth is painful. Give yourself a chance to find a good therapist or counselor and let them evaluate your situation. Support is a very good thing. Look at it this way: You may feel like you're at rock bottom, but now the only way to go is up! God bless and I will say a prayer for you. Take care--Hopeto--
Last edited by hopetofeelwell1; 09-10-2008 at 08:48 PM.
You are not pathetic - you are human...
I understand when you say that taking med is failure. I suffer depression and I fought meds for a long time for the same reason. I thought that meds meant I had failed and that they were a cop out. I understand. I wanted to find happiness again too without a crutch. How could happiness with meds be real happiness?
I was Wrong. I eventually relented and accepted the meds. As my doctor put it - meds dont make you happy, they just help you balance while you do the work of working on the underlying issues that cause your unhappiness. He was right. I took meds and I am on the road to better times. I have realised that I needed them to get me through a rough spot in my life. Like you need pain relief when you break a leg.
It isnt failure, it actually shows strength and courage to accpet help. Be brave...
I am sorry to hear of the loss of your friend. Loss and change is hard. lossing the person you talk to is hard. It is OK to grieve....
For me I can't find happiness without medication and the numerous other things that I do to keep depression far from me (I have dysthymia which is aggravated by seasonal affective disorder, also binge eating and had a major depressive episode with anxiety and panic attacks).
But what I do works... for me.
I take anti depressants and rivitril (to help with sleep), I do cognitive behavioural therapy and exercise (weights and spin classes). Those 3 are very helpful to me.
My doc thinks I will be on anti depressants for life. I'm ok with that as I do find them helpful... I'm lucky as some don't. However if I can give them up a few years down the road then that would be good also, but for now I am on them for a long time. I'm fine with that.
I also don't drink caffeine, alcohol (rarely), eat organic veggies and good stuff, lotsa laughter with friends, vitamins, my S.A.D. light, get enough sleep etc.
I did not want to go the drug route and resisted it for years. I routinely announced to my doc that "I don't do drugs". Well during a rather severe depressive episode last year I was ready to give it a go. I was desperate.
I changed my life- did CBT/therapy/lifestyle changes/exercise/drugs and now I can say I am much happier. I used myself as a guinea pig to find out what works for me and what doesn't. I tried all sorts of things. With success.
Don't worry too much about anti depressants- if they don't work you can try another or taper off.... there's alot of horror stories on the web but there are also alot of success stories. For me it makes a HUGE difference and I am very grateful that I am so much better.
Ice there are all kinds of help out there. Sometimes meds can help give you the boost you need to get going again. I was on meds before I found what helped me get better and get rid of my meds. For me it was learning cbt and dedicating myself to the exercises like the tea form and working on them everyday. No one thing works for everyone but I'm sure if you try different therapies you will find one that works for you