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Depression Message Board
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Old 09-07-2008, 07:55 PM   #1
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Join Date: Aug 2005
Posts: 20
psuhighlife HB User
Angry This sucks

Ive always been depressed/negative thinking person. Im only 22 and i can remember being depressed about things for my whole life. My friends think of me as the funny, crazy person who loves to have a good time, but they dont realize how i feel on the inside. Just recently i told my best friend about how i have been feeling, and he was really suprised...didn't have a clue.

A couple weeks ago my girlfriend dumped me, and then told me she had been cheating on me with her ex boyfriend who she is still in love with. She was my second "real" girlfriend, and the second one to cheat on me and leave me for their ex. I cant believe people do this to people they supposedly love. It hurts so bad. I have never cheated and would never cheat. Im a decent looking guy (although i hate looking in the mirror), im polite, honest, loyal. Whats so wrong wrong with me that makes my girlfriends do this to me??? I know breakups happen to everyone, but "normal" people don't feel like i do. I get attached quick too which makes it so much worse. I can't stop thinking about her...but i wish i hated her. I got on match.com to try to find someone, but no luck yet.

I wish i could be happy. My depression is wearing on me. I cant really go out and drink because it only makes the feelings so much stronger. When i go out i like to drink because it makes me feel better about myself and not so self-conscious. I find flaws in myself all the time. If i was just happy with myself everything else would be better. I wish i could find someone who really loves me.

Felt good to get that off my chest

 
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Old 09-08-2008, 05:28 AM   #2
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Join Date: May 2008
Location: Smalltown, North Dakota, USA
Posts: 145
littlesadone HB User
Re: This sucks

You need to try to find someone that you can talk stuff through with. You are right...you should not be depressed for most of your life......a counselor or psych......check with your regular doctor to recommend someone or your local mental health services if money might be a problem...sometimes just talking can help you put things into perspective...some people need an antidepressant to help the chemicals in their brains straighten out..if you have felt this way for along time, I would suspect that an antidepressant would help you....but just my opinion...from my own experiences.....

try to find someone to talk to..please...get help so you don't have to keep feeling so horrid about yourself.....

 
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