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Old 09-09-2008, 10:56 PM   #1
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Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: paris,france
Posts: 347
Gioparis HB User
I cant do it anymore

I'm so tired. I'm tired of being something for everyone, and yet, despite all that, I get nothing in return.

I'm a good daughter, what do I get? shouting from my mother, nothing ever pleases her, if I dont do things the way she wants, she gets mad. She always says how depressed she is and lonely, and how she has no point of living.

My husband, we've been married for 5 years, together 7, I made a mistake a year after we got married, when i thought he was cheating on me, i kinda got a little too close to a classmate. (My husband is 11 yrs older), anyway it was stupid and I regret it and never thought about it again.
Ive been a good wife , caring, loving, supportive,andthoughtful.
We had a baby 6 months ago,and today is my birthday (first as a mom), i get nothing, not even a card. he took me to dinner last night and thats about it. today i got no card, no flowers, nothing. I get one night of good sleep ever since we had the baby..i thought i deserved extra care, but it seems that I dont. I told him if I have done something wrong, he said no, but it seems he doesnt love me asmuch......because loving someone isnt only by saying it, its by actions. I hope I show him how much I love him...I always like to see him happy..so i always surprise him

My friends all seem to be using me for something. alot of girls have jealousy issues, and im sweet and friendly person....

I feel misjudged by alot of ppl...
Today is the most depressing birthday ever....im still in my 20s..but i feel like ive aged 20 years in the past few months.....

Im soo tired...

 
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Old 09-10-2008, 12:23 AM   #2
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Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: Penetang, ON,Canada
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dopeyanne HB User
Re: I cant do it anymore

Hello,
I'm sorry that you are feeling so alone. You say your baby is 6 months old. Have you talked to your Dr. to tell him/her how you are feeling. Have you tried talking to your husband. Maybe he needs to hear how you are feeling. Sometimes young men don't know the demands made on their wives. If you have a talk with him try not to make it look like you don't think he is doing enough, or that he is taking you for granted.
These can be very difficult years in a marriage. You have just had a baby and are probably not getting enough rest and he on the otherside maybe feels neglected. Even though you have tried talking to him about it by making him feel special. Sometimes and I don't necessarily mean you but husbands can feel neglected for no good reason. Have you ever tried just giving him a big hug for no reason other than you love him very much.
You made a mistake. Leave it behind you, don't beat yourself up over it. You were probably feeling very vulnerable. Just for the fun of it and maybe if you tried it just for a week. Give him hugs and tell him how much you love him and that you aren't feeling yourself. Man try to be macho but they need a lot of love, hugs, and tell him.
Even though you feel that you do nothing but give and get nothing back. Someone in a marriage has to take the first step in tying the knot tight and usually it is the wife.
Dont' be concerned about your friends taking advantage be concerned about your husband. Just tell him how much you love him. Let him know that you need help.
As far as your mother goes, I can remember after I had my first baby my mom was going though the change of life. She would call me and tell me to come to her house because she was having a heart attack. Actually it was after I had my third child. I told her the kids were all sick with bronchitis and that the baby who was only a few weeks old was bringing up. I told her I would get over as fast as I could. Well, I never heard the end of it. I often think it is a mother- daughter thing. As the years go by they seem to realize that you are an adult and have your hands full. Only you can know what is going on in your family but remember to love yourself. If we don't love ourselves how can we love any one after. I do hope you go to your family Dr. and just spill everything out. Please tell him/her how you are feeling. Take care and my thoughts will be with you. I have been married for 54 years and had to learn that my husband comes first. I will be watching to see how you are doing. Dorothy

 
Old 09-10-2008, 07:31 PM   #3
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Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: paris,france
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Gioparis HB User
Re: I cant do it anymore

he just doesnt seem to think about me at all...i feel like he either has fallen our of love with me...or he's punishing me for something ive done a long time ago...
he tells me he loves me but he has to know the he HAS to show it...words are not enough...there has to be actions with it...

i didnt even get a card for my birthday...he got me flowers after i got flowers from everyone in my household..including myself...........

im soo depressed and sad....i cant eat...i cant sleep...i just want to vanish

this hurts me so much because i love him more than words can say..i always show him that..in words and actions...why cant i get the same?!

 
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