OK, I am feeling really out of it, but I will try my best to write this and to accurately explain how I am feeling...
To synopsize, I am in my late 20's, have moderate-to-severe OCD, which is my primary problem, but I also have developed pretty major generalized anxiety over the past few years due to a couple of serious life events and heartbreaks (abandonment issues, maybe?) this anxiety has SERIOSULY kept me from livinjg my day to day life, and I have finally been in therapy over the last few months to try and actually do something about it.I felt I was getting better, and starting to feel hopeful again, until something sort of flip-flopped, and now I feel crazy all over again.
I know that is so so vague, but I can't really pinpoint what happened, execpet a week ago i felt my ususal run-of-the-mill sad and anxious, and now I am suddenly full-blown depressed, not able to eat, have serious indegestion and am EXHAUSTED, crying a lot, feeling worthless, hopeless, alone, and just wan tto sleep and sleep.
I have moments where I feel better and like myself, but they are fleeting, and if I go out, I have trouble eating, then feel weak and tiered, so i end up back in bed and terribly sad again.
I can't say what happened really, except maybe a series of my usual anxiety attacks, over nothing, and feeling really REALLY lonely (my best friend is about to move away, and I am on the outs with my ex, and the one before him...and found out one of my closer friends was NOT trustworthy, so I suddenly feel very alone, again....)
Anyways, I have made some attempts to talk to people about how I feel, but they typically don't know what to say, and get afraid or something, and just stop talking to me or make me feel worse.
Man, people really don't know how to comfort other people, and it can be even more disheartening when you open up to people, and they just get afraid of you (as if I wasn't feeling afraid enough already!!)
I keep thinking how I would feel fine if I could talk to my ex, who knows how I get sometimes, and to just be held, I would feel better. But I can't call him.
Ahhh, what is happening?
I feel so crazy and sad, like I am 10,000 miles from myself and the rest of the world.
If I could only eat, or get some energy, I could at least get by...
What should I do???
I'm exhausted, and feel like I am going crazy