Back in May I was diagnosed with Depression, although this wasn't the first time. Most of my life since I was 16 I've been diagnosed as depressed but until recently it was never THIS bad. I've been on many medications, usually weaned off after 6 months-1 year and occassionally have self weaned because I was living in the US and lost my insurance. Since this diagnosis I've been on Paxil which has done wonders for me, but also been creating other problems.
For one, I've stopped crying for no reason. Which is great! I used to cry at the drop of a hat over everything (which isn't good when you have kids wondering if their mommy is ok). The problem is that - I've stopped crying altogether. I have no sadness, even when I should. I feel it's extremely hard to feel bad for other people in a way that shows I care. Empathy is something I have to work REALLY hard to feel. It's as if the Paxil has made me devoid of any emotion. I can laugh though, which is nice.
The other problem was that I was an emotional basket case when it came to relationships with the opposit sex. Now, I have the opposit problem. I want nothing to do with them. I have zero sex drive (which again is ok since I'm single LOL) but I keep getting flirted with and just walking away. It's like now I don't even care. I couldn't possible be less interested in someone. Again this isn't bad, just perplexing and I wonder if it will eventually go away.
I have to admit, I much prefer this numb feeling over the emo-basket-case I was before. I've become a much much much better mother and I can concentrate on school more. But I still want to be emotionally attached to my friends and I find that the paxil is really interfering with that. I'm on 20mg/day. I tried going back to 10mg but I was back to being an emo-basket-case. Is this just par for the course?