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Old 09-19-2008, 09:59 PM   #1
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Daughter resigned from college after four years

How do I help my adughter to remaim in college?

 
Old 09-19-2008, 10:19 PM   #2
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Re: Daughter resigned from college after four years

What you should be asking is how can I help my daughter overcome her depression. How on earth can she stay in college if she is depressed? Sounds like she is under too much stress and you should be doing whatever it takes to make her feel better. If she hasn't been to mental health counseling then she needs to go or perhaps she needs to stop college for awhile and relax maybe a nice fun vacation. Four years is a long time...why does she need to keep going?

 
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Old 09-21-2008, 06:50 PM   #3
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Re: Daughter resigned from college after four years

If she stopped due to depression, then she should see a physician for a treatment plan...... Perhaps she will feel well enough to re-enroll by next semester.

 
Old 09-21-2008, 07:48 PM   #4
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Re: Daughter resigned from college after four years

Tell her to take very few classes instead of dropping out altogether. Just one class is enough.. even just 1-2 online classes is fine.

 
Old 09-21-2008, 10:57 PM   #5
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Re: Daughter resigned from college after four years

You didn't say why she quit. Everyone is making assumptions. Is it her depression that brought you to this board, or your own? If you are the one who is depressed I totally understand it. (I was devastated when my son quit college.) We put so much of ourselves into our children, it's natural to feel disappointed when they make decisions we think will be bad for them.

You might benefit from counseling or conversations with other parents to gain some perspective on the situation, deal with your own feelings about success (yours and hers), and get ideas on what to do next (or what not to do).

There are many reasons why someone might quit college. A college degree doesn't guarantee a successful career, and it might not even get someone a good job in their field. If she was studying something that didn't interest her, and it wasn't going to give her many career options, she might be better off leaving to get a job. I quit and restarted college several times and it was the best thing for me. I eventually got an MBA and took courses toward a PhD. I have absolutely no regrets about that. But many students leave and don't return. It all depends on what they want.

If she's depressed, help her to get the help she needs to get better. Strongly encourage her to get a job, and don't support her financially if she isn't doing anything. (I made the mistake of enabling my son to goof off for two years because he didn't know what he wanted to do. He was happy living at home, partying at night, doing only what he wanted to do. But it made ME depressed because I felt I failed in my job to produce an independent adult.)

good luck!

 
Old 09-22-2008, 09:11 PM   #6
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Re: Daughter resigned from college after four years

Hi
Thanks for your response to my concern for my daughter. This is the second time she has suffered from depression. I will do whatever is best for her by not allowing my opinion to influence her decision to remain in college.

I will allow her to make the decision for herself. I trust that she will be able to choose something to do taht she likes and get on with her life.
Thanks again for sharing with me.
God bless you.

 
Old 09-23-2008, 03:47 PM   #7
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Re: Daughter resigned from college after four years

I hope you didn't get a "hands-off, let her make her own decisions" message from my reply. Yes, she has to make her own decisions, BUT, if she is suffering from depression, she needs some treatment. Not necessarily medication, but perhaps you can encourage her to try a therapist (or two or three, if the first one isn't right), and EXERCISE.

The most important thing is to stay in touch, pay attention and show a willingness to really listen without judging. If you notice that she's avoiding people, has a lot of aches and pain, and seems lethargic, apathetic and disinterested in all the things she used to like, those are symptoms of clinical depression. Many people "snap out of" normal situational depression, but clinical depression is more pervasive, and harder to deal with (and sometimes is fatal).

Once you really know what's going on, and her reasons for leaving college, you can bring up the college issue again. I agree with the idea of encouraging her to take just one or two courses per semester. If she's living in your house rent free, that gives you more leverage. My youngest knows that he'll have to start paying rent and his own car insurance unless he goes back to college by his next birthday. (We're not making the same mistake with him that we made with his older brother.)

 
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