I may be physically alive, but have never felt like this before. I feel dead inside. I feel so bad that I can't imagine that this is merely caused by depression. It's as if my body and soul have separated. I don't feel human anymore. I can't think, I can't function, and I can't feel anything.
It's hard to explain, but I'm absolutely convinced that this is something beyond depression. I have never felt so hopeless. I fear that I can never work again and function normally in society.
I also wonder if my current desperate state can be attributed to years of social isolation. As we all know, environmental factors are important in the development of mental illnesses.
I don't know what to do, other than making an appointment with a psychiatrist. Is this it, is this my life, my destiny? As time passes I end up feeling much worse instead of feeling better.
I'm left with nothing else than my religion and my belief in God. I hope God will one day answer my prayers. Regardless of which factors triggered my mental illness, it seems that I have no choice but to resign myself to this situation. But I don't know how I can live suffering like this.
Last edited by Argamemnon; 09-28-2008 at 05:39 PM.
I was just look through and saw this. I'm feeling the very same. It's almost like I'm trappd inside myself and am trying to get out. I don't feel happy, I don't feel sad, I just don't feel. Its bothering me, but the panic I usually feel is numb.
I go to work and am ok sometimes, but other times, it gets worse. I take generic clonopan for anxiety and I just keep taking them. I just feel like I'm drifting away!
Argamennon, you poor darling. I really really really do understand. Several years ago I had a very horrible and public miscarriage (long story) I was completely devesated and could not believe the emotional pain. I felt emty, hollow. My face was disconnected with my soul and I could not smile or cry, I was blank. I would walk along the street and feel like a fake, a fraud becouse I would think that while people could see my body, I wasent really there. I felt absolatally nothing.
I cant tell you how long it lasted becouse I dont know, I just noticed one day that I didnt feel like that anymore, I could feel again. It hasent been an easy recovery, I suffer depression and am extremely sentivtive toward other people but I am getting happier...so hang in there and know that while you feel completely alone, you're actually amongst friends here. See your psych, they will help.