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Old 09-28-2008, 09:52 PM   #1
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homerindoors HB User
Question Why me ?

I bet you have all said that to yourself at one point.
I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety problems about 10 years ago and have been on many different medications from that time. Unlike alot of the stories i have read on here, i dont know what caused my depression.
A good friend of mine many years back had a brother who suffered from depression and i was one of those people who thought, we all have bad days just get over it. Well was i wrong! i never realised what a crippling illness it is.
I have been unable to work since being struck down with my illness and have been forced to pull from society completely, i have become a recluse that is frightened of his own shadow the complete opposite of my former self, each day i wake i cry as i know another day of self destroying internal dialog presents itself, no motivatation , no feeling, no nothing. The pain of fitting the mask on for any visitors has me worn out. How do you smile when your dying inside? money problems now have me crippled and i'm afraid to answer the door. A life of hiding with myself is getting to hard. No one seems to understand unless they have been a sufferer. Cant concentrate, cant think straight just drowning. Come to the end and dont know where to turn, even the "professionals" dont seem to want to listen. Where do i go from here ??

Sorry just had to talk to someone even if no one listens!

Hope you all get the help you need.

 
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Old 09-29-2008, 05:40 PM   #2
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BonniC HB User
Re: Why me ?

Perhaps talking to a friend would help? I know when I feel down, I often share my pain with friends.

I have a few online friends who I share with who really help me.

If I can help, please feel free to post again.

 
Old 09-29-2008, 05:59 PM   #3
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Kerrjaster HB User
Re: Why me ?

I am so sorry you are feeling so terrible. Are you taking meds right now? I have suffered from depression and panic attacks for a long time, so I know how you feel. It sounds to me like you are in a very severe depression and seriously in need of meds. Please know, this is not your fault and does not mean there is something "wrong" with you. Depression is an illness. Please, please go see your Dr.

 
Old 09-29-2008, 06:56 PM   #4
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homerindoors HB User
Re: Why me ?

Hi thanks for the replies,yes i have been on meds for what seems like ever.
As to talking to friends the problem is i'm a MAN and we dont do that sort of thing i have always found it extremely difficult to talk about it because i know what people think of people with depression,they believe its a matter of "just snap out of it" sadly before becoming ill i had the same view,i had no idea how crippling it really is.Thanks again for the reply

 
Old 09-30-2008, 05:53 AM   #5
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Seymour93 HB User
Re: Why me ?

Quote:
Originally Posted by homerindoors View Post
Come to the end and dont know where to turn, even the "professionals" dont seem to want to listen. Where do i go from here ??
Time for new Professionals. Like anything else...some counselors and physicians are better than others.

 
Old 09-30-2008, 08:17 PM   #6
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bluedog139 HB User
Re: Why me ?

Do you have a pastor or somebody like that, who you could talk to. One of my pastors who was a good friend, was the one who was able to step in and get me the help I needed.

 
Old 10-02-2008, 01:20 PM   #7
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Survivor3 HB User
Re: Why me ?

Quote:
Originally Posted by homerindoors View Post
As to talking to friends the problem is i'm a MAN and we dont do that sort of thing
Don't let that stigma keep you from doing all you can to recover.

 
Old 10-02-2008, 01:43 PM   #8
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james0906 HB User
Re: Why me ?

Don't be afraid to talk to someone. You might just find someone who has been there. Keep looking until you find the right professional. Don't give up.

 
Old 10-02-2008, 07:24 PM   #9
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sumami78 HB User
Re: Why me ?

I agree that you should seek a professional to talk to. I don't like to talk to my friends about my depression either because I don't want them to judge me or to treat me differently. I found a counselor who was fantastic because they knew all the right questions to ask and treated me like a real person. I encourage you to find someone like this that you can talk to. It can make a massive difference.

 
Old 10-07-2008, 12:28 PM   #10
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Breezes HB User
Re: Why me ?

Unexpressed feelings can cause and reinforce depression. I think support groups are great. People are very enthusiastic about the experience afterwards. These groups are a reminder of how important it is to talk about feelings. Finding the right people may take some time, effort and risk, but it could do wonders.

 
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