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Old 10-17-2008, 10:00 AM   #1
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jamess289 HB User
Unhappy i don't know what to do.

i've been dealing with bipolar/depression since i was about 13 or 14 (now 19), and until now i've been able to cope with it. recent events in my life (one parent in another state, the other turning their back on me and leaving me homeless) have set me to an all time low. after that fiasco, i moved across the country to a rather depressing city, and in the short time i've been here it seems like the depression has literally handicapped me. it's like it's physically draining me, giving me little or no energy for ever minor tasks, clouding my thoughts, affecting my memory, and turning me into a basement troll with no want or need to go out and meet friends. i rarely sleep anymore, and when i do it seems to be for less than 4 hours. my real question, how can i go about dealing with these issues? i have no insurance, and medication really isn't an option at this point. i'm really not trying to be a drama queen, but some really messed up thoughts have gone through my head lately, and i'd just like to get back to normal (or just 'cope-able')

 
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Old 10-17-2008, 10:54 AM   #2
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Re: i don't know what to do.

If in fact bipolar is your dx, you NEED meds. No if ands or buts. I'm not bipolar, however, my late mom was. Sounds like you are in a down phase of the disease, nevermind all the other changes you are facing. I don't know what else to say but, YOU NEED MEDS!!!

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Old 10-17-2008, 11:04 AM   #3
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Re: i don't know what to do.

as strange as it sounds, i'm afraid to take the meds. how do anti-depressants/relaxers actually make you feel? is it altered perception, or is it unnoticeable?

 
Old 10-17-2008, 01:25 PM   #4
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sawbuck44 HB Usersawbuck44 HB Usersawbuck44 HB User
Re: i don't know what to do.

If you have no insurance to see a doctor, St. John's Wart has helped many with their depression. I've never tried it myself though.

I take Wellbutrin. Anti-depressants affect people differently so I'll just tell you my experience. Before starting antiD I was very emotional and would cry even watching certain commercials. Always putting myself in that situation. I went for a complete physical because besides the crying, I had been having chest pains. My doctor suggested antiD because of my story. I said I'll try it but don't know if I'd stay with it.

The side affects described that the first week or so you might feel irritated. I can't recall exactly how it was stated, but I did feel more 'snappy' but that didn't last.

It has been a month now but after just about a week I felt much better. I do not feel any different as far as feeling foggy or tired or wired. You have to find the right med and the right dosage and sometimes it takes a while to figure out. Some meds take time to 'build up' in your system for you to fully feel their effects. When I went in for a followup, since all my tests (heart stress-test and bloodwork) came back negative, I asked my doctor if it was anxiety and he said yes. I don't have the chest pains anymore.

I am so sad to see someone so young have to deal with your situation. I have a 19 yo son and my heart goes out to you. Please know that I am here if you want to talk.
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If you open the door even a little bit - the devil will fling it open. Keep it closed with prayer.

Last edited by sawbuck44; 10-17-2008 at 01:39 PM.

 
Old 11-02-2008, 07:29 PM   #5
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LushStars HB User
Re: i don't know what to do.

Quote:
Originally Posted by jamess289 View Post
i've been dealing with bipolar/depression since i was about 13 or 14 (now 19), and until now i've been able to cope with it. recent events in my life (one parent in another state, the other turning their back on me and leaving me homeless) have set me to an all time low. after that fiasco, i moved across the country to a rather depressing city, and in the short time i've been here it seems like the depression has literally handicapped me. it's like it's physically draining me, giving me little or no energy for ever minor tasks, clouding my thoughts, affecting my memory, and turning me into a basement troll with no want or need to go out and meet friends. i rarely sleep anymore, and when i do it seems to be for less than 4 hours. my real question, how can i go about dealing with these issues? i have no insurance, and medication really isn't an option at this point. i'm really not trying to be a drama queen, but some really messed up thoughts have gone through my head lately, and i'd just like to get back to normal (or just 'cope-able')

I understand, thought I don't know how you will feel better as I've not answered that for myself...but feel free to talk to me if ya want.

 
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