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Old 10-26-2008, 10:07 AM   #1
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Join Date: Jul 2008
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myinspiration HB User
I am so depressed - I dont know what to do anymore

This is my first time posting on this group. I site here wondering what to do. I have had a pretty hard life but I do know that their are others that have it worse than I do but I still hurt inside. I have so much anger in me. I have a 10 year old son and Im scared that its affecting him but I dont know how to snap out of it. My husband seems like he cant take it anymore with me being depressed. He blames himself.
We had a second child back in 04 and he died at birth from no kidneys. We started trying again in Jan 05. I never had a hard time getting pregnant. My first son we werent trying and my second son (theone that died) it took us 5 to 6 months. So they checked my husband out and he had 20 million sperm count but they said it was gray zone meaning i could get that was but it would just take longer. Then we found out that my husband has 1 vas differin (the tube that carries the sperm out) and 1 kidney. I then knew that my baby dieing was a genetic thing because he died of no kidneys. I had my son checked out and he had both kidneys. So we knew there was a chance we could have another healthy baby. They told me i had a 13 to 20% chance that my next baby could have some kind of kidney problems but the odds were in my favor. So we kept trying. In July 06 I get pregnant but miscarred at around 6 weeks. So we kept trying and here is over 2 years later no pregnancy. They checked me out but the only thing they found wrong was endometriosis on the back of my uterus which they said that would not cause a problem because my overies and tubes looked great. So they cleaned it up. Still no pregnancy. So my husband gets checked and now his sperm count is 8 million. They said that my chances are very slim because a man needs over 20 million. I am so tired and depressed.
Everyone around me keeps getting pregnant and having 2nd, 3rd 4th child. I feel like God took a baby from me, why wont he give me another healthy one but keeps giving to others. Im really having a hard time with this.
The drs dont want me take an antipressant because Im trying to get pregnant.
I feel like my 2 closest friends dont understand why Im so angry. I think they are both trying for their 3rd child now. They have never had any problems. I have secluded myself from people. there has been 3 people in my neighborhood that has been pregnant this year.
My husband feels like its all his fault and i try to tell him its not but I cant help being depressed. It hurts everytime I hear that someone is pregnant. i have prayed about it for 3years now.
How do you deal with depression and going on with your life and excepting it might not happen for u. I want to b happy for people but its hard.

 
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Old 10-27-2008, 05:34 AM   #2
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james0906 HB User
Re: I am so depressed - I dont know what to do anymore

I have no answer for how to deal with the issues related the hard time you are having gettig pregnant. I have no experience with this problem. It would not hurt to seek the counsil of a proffessional or mayber your pastor.

Keep praying and understand that getting pregnant is very important to you but it is not he only thing you are here to do on this earth. Maybe you could put your attention to something else that could help others or your family. God gives us many talents because he uses us in many different ways. It is hard to remeber that was is important to us now may not be in his plans. What should happen will happen.

You can be happy for others. The only way you can be truly happy is to be happy for yourself. Everything else will fall into place then.

Of course what do I know. I am tying to beat deppression myself. I do feel better now that I am getting medicated and working to beat it.

Good luck
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Old 10-27-2008, 09:25 PM   #3
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Re: I am so depressed - I dont know what to do anymore

Having dealt with secondary infertility myself, I do understand you. I understand the anxiety and feeling that it may never happen. The only thing I can tell you is this: You focus on people who are getting pregnant and having 3-4 kids. I did that, too. Even now I look at women with several kids and feel envy. But, then I think of all the women who have no kids at all. I just spoke with a friend the other day. She and her husband have tried for 16 years to have a child. They tried naturally, then infertility treatments and then adoption. Nothing worked out. My friend is now 48 and told me that they have decided to give up because of her age. The have spent a fortune, not to mention all the disappointments that 16 years of trying, including miscarriages
brought them. I also know quite a few people who adopted, after trying to get pregnant for years. They had to give up on the dream of having a biological child. Hopefully, it will happen for you, but if it doesn't you have one healthy, biological child, try not to forget that.

 
Old 10-28-2008, 01:42 AM   #4
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Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Egypt
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cartner HB Usercartner HB Usercartner HB Usercartner HB Usercartner HB Usercartner HB User
Re: I am so depressed - I dont know what to do anymore

Hi myinspiration,

I'm very sorry for your lost, it must have been very difficult on you and your family . God helps you to get over it. Anyway, don't think that your life is the worst in the world. My life is bad but I'm sure it's not the worst, I have 4 injuries that need surgerical treatment and because I have no health insurance I can't have any of those surgeries. I live with my parents, although I'm 26, because I can't have a job (I can barely move around). I can't be with the only girl that I have ever loved, who will get marry anytime soon.

You can say that I have no future and no one will ever help me.

*edited*

It's really a good thing that you love being a mother, ask him to bless your family and keep praying dear. For my depression I started prozac 20mg 2 days ago, hope this works for me.

Last edited by mentalhealth mod; 10-28-2008 at 07:46 AM.

 
Old 02-17-2009, 11:24 AM   #5
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Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: cape town
Posts: 20
Sk30081978 HB User
Re: I am so depressed - I dont know what to do anymore

Quote:
Originally Posted by myinspiration View Post
This is my first time posting on this group. I site here wondering what to do. I have had a pretty hard life but I do know that their are others that have it worse than I do but I still hurt inside. I have so much anger in me. I have a 10 year old son and Im scared that its affecting him but I dont know how to snap out of it. My husband seems like he cant take it anymore with me being depressed. He blames himself.
We had a second child back in 04 and he died at birth from no kidneys. We started trying again in Jan 05. I never had a hard time getting pregnant. My first son we werent trying and my second son (theone that died) it took us 5 to 6 months. So they checked my husband out and he had 20 million sperm count but they said it was gray zone meaning i could get that was but it would just take longer. Then we found out that my husband has 1 vas differin (the tube that carries the sperm out) and 1 kidney. I then knew that my baby dieing was a genetic thing because he died of no kidneys. I had my son checked out and he had both kidneys. So we knew there was a chance we could have another healthy baby. They told me i had a 13 to 20% chance that my next baby could have some kind of kidney problems but the odds were in my favor. So we kept trying. In July 06 I get pregnant but miscarred at around 6 weeks. So we kept trying and here is over 2 years later no pregnancy. They checked me out but the only thing they found wrong was endometriosis on the back of my uterus which they said that would not cause a problem because my overies and tubes looked great. So they cleaned it up. Still no pregnancy. So my husband gets checked and now his sperm count is 8 million. They said that my chances are very slim because a man needs over 20 million. I am so tired and depressed.
Everyone around me keeps getting pregnant and having 2nd, 3rd 4th child. I feel like God took a baby from me, why wont he give me another healthy one but keeps giving to others. Im really having a hard time with this.
The drs dont want me take an antipressant because Im trying to get pregnant.
I feel like my 2 closest friends dont understand why Im so angry. I think they are both trying for their 3rd child now. They have never had any problems. I have secluded myself from people. there has been 3 people in my neighborhood that has been pregnant this year.
My husband feels like its all his fault and i try to tell him its not but I cant help being depressed. It hurts everytime I hear that someone is pregnant. i have prayed about it for 3years now.
How do you deal with depression and going on with your life and excepting it might not happen for u. I want to b happy for people but its hard.
Hi im a 30n year old lady. i know what ur goin through. im suffering from deppression & r not takin any antidepressants. i want to do it on my own. most of the time i feel that i cant go on. the only person that is keeping me alive is GOD. i had an 2 etopic pregancies when i was 23yrs old. they had to remove both my tubes. i got pregnant 4 months apart. the only way i can pregnant is through invitro fertilization. u wont believe what im goin through. if i think bout losing my babies im sad & cry. i feel with u. im also married. ill pray for u. the best we can do is let god into our life, thats what i need. im too scared to get pregnant cause im scared will it happen if it happens will i lose the baby. im already so deppressed with my mom dad family making me depressed. i force myself to read the & even if u read the bible every night i promise u it may not seem as if its not working but in time u'll c that it does. please let me know how ur doin.

 
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