We are going through a very difficult time. We've been married for 13 years on the 11th November '08. Our son is 10 years old and very healthy, our daughter is 4 and suffers from cerebral palsy and battles to walk and other. I am a Police officer and sometimes away from home. The last 7 months my wife complaint that she is not happy. Maybe i ignored her and did not take her serious. Now she said she wants to leave me and just be friends. She's been loosing weight, not getting enough sleep and does alot of training. I Love my wife very much and it is very difficult for me to accept it. We went for treatment and my wife was told to go for extra treatment but she refused she said she will deal with the matter on her own. Is this normal? Is this the end? Why? We don't even sleep together she said she wants to sleep in her own room.There is no more feelings for me.
I'm so sorry for what you are going through right now. I'm sure having a child with a disability can be very stressful and put a strain on your marriage. Then again, maybe your wife is going through some kind of mid life crisis. No matter what the reason, your wife sounds like she wants or needs a change in her life.
Is she asking for a separation or does she just want to continue your relationship like roommates? She may say she has no more feelings for you and she may mean it. She may also not know what she wants and you are the nearest person to take her frustrations out on. Sometimes we don't know how much we care for someone until they are no longer there. Maybe a trial separation would be a good thing for both of you.
This may not apply to your situation but here is what my experience has been.
I've been going through health problems of my own for the last year but not reached the point of disability. My experience is that each person reacts to a situation differently. My husband is of a stoic type nature and will not express pain and I on the other hand constntly need reconsoling and re-assurance that things will get better.. that keeps me going.. given the pain etc I have been in. My husband is of the nature to suck it up and move on and one "HAS TO" bear it and still handle wha they were handling.. I understand the difference in nature but still feel like he is does not "really" see or hear my needs and he is totally oblivious of what I am going through despite being in the same house.
I myself have told him I want to quit the marriage since I am so wrapped up in my problems that I feel very little emotion for him because the emotion from everythng else going on is so overwhelming and in my opinion he is not helping me through anyways and I feel isolated and alone in what I have to handle and often I feel it may just easier to be on my own so atleast I don't have those unrealistic expectations from him.
Dealing with the situation your family is in is a mammoth task and I think a constant expressive reminder that you love each other and care and will get through this is helps.
Again I don't know the details and all of the above may be garbage since it may not be the case between you and your wife.
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