Waiting - Depression Message Board

jadeng · 01-30-2009, 02:32 PM

I'm a 39 year old married man, 2 kids, job, nice life I suppose. So why am I affected by depression? I've been suffering on & off for the past 7 and a half years, been on and off medication, had good times & bad. At the moment I'm on the way down, I can feel myself slipping and just waiting for the inevitable!

TEdds83 · 02-15-2009, 12:11 PM

Hang in there! I call it the big black hole. I have been in it a time or two. I am back in it right now. I am trying to control it without meds. The meds make me feel worse. Its so hard isn't it? People ask...how did this happen? Well I didn't ask for it. Sometimes it just happens. We just end up there. We wouldn't wish this on anyone. What are you doing to help keep yourself from the big black hole called depression?

jadeng · 02-16-2009, 10:52 AM

I don't quite know how I'm holding on at the moment, but so far I've resisted going back on the meds! I just aim to get through each day, the trouble is I'm trying so hard that at the end of each day I'm physically exhausted, then comes bed time guess what,......I can't sleep, so the next day the cycle starts again. What concerns me most is I have no idea why I feel like this, or any idea why it's reappeared after 2 fairly stable years.

TEdds83 · 02-16-2009, 03:10 PM

It really could be hormone levels. Or Seratonin levels. It may be nothing that you did at all. I wish there was a test they could go for Seratonin levels but unfortunately I don't think there is. At least as far as I know.

jadeng · 02-17-2009, 12:28 PM

Today has been agony, probably the hardest day for a long time. I think I'm going to have to bite the bullet and go see the doctor. It's getting very hard to 'hide' it, people are begining to realise I'm not 'OK' and to be honest I'm getting sick of trying to act 'normal'.