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Old 03-12-2009, 08:49 AM   #1
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StargirlUK HB User
Depression or Grief?

I am currently 7 months pregnant so often feeling exhausted. However, the feeling of exhaustion I have is similar to that I felt when I was diagnosed with depression some years ago. Apart from this, and the general feeling of apathy towards life and tearfullness, I am not sure if I am depressed.

This is because I am not sure whether I am confusing depression with grief. Only 2 months ago I lost my 9 month old son after he suffered a long illness, so am wondering if what I am feeling is a general feeling of grief, why I often feel tearful, and not really interested in life.

I do not feel depressed as such, but am certainly also not over joyed with life, but surely this is to be expected after the last year of my life?

How long should I give it before I see someone? Is what I am feeling normal after a loss such as this? Obviously I dont really want to take any medication due to being pregnant, but also, if this is depression, dont want to leave it so long that it is harder to fight off as I know from last time it crept up on me before I knew it so would prefer to try and treat it before it gets too bad.

I have seen a counsellor regarding my sons death, but wasnt sure that this was the right path for me. I am quite happy to talk to friends about my son, and realise that only time will help ease my suffering, that there is no magic cure. But also dont want to miss the first few months of this babys life because I am too depressed to appreciate her.

If there is anyone that can offer any help or insight, fire away!

Thanks

 
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Old 03-12-2009, 01:22 PM   #2
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Re: Depression or Grief?

Firstly Stargirl, all my sympathy for your loss. I'm so sorry that happened. You must be strong to be still feeling as good as you are, truly.

Is it normal to feel the level of grief you say you do? Absolutely it is. It is an enormous weight on you to have suffered that while awaiting your newest child.

Should you see a doc etc about how you feel? Definitely. It does not mean it is depression as losing a loved one is probably the hardest grief to cope with asnd likely to last the longest too. The symptoms say if you feel that way for 3 weeks or longer then it is depression but that is just a guide and your own words are a better guide. You say you donb't feel depressed so I'd agree that you are not.

But it is very hard to keep going when you are tired physically and emotionally and feel disinterested. See a doc and talk it out. There are meds that can be taken while pregnant but that's for you and the doc to decide.

You are looking forward to meeting your new child and both of you deserve to be in the best shape possible to have that meeting. Don't wait, go and sort it out. Doctors too, of course, will find it hard to distinguish betweeen the mix of feelings and being pregnant plus your grief.

I think the key factor here is you recognise what's going on and I think you have sorted the feelings out very well.

I wish you every happiness in the future and a safe birth.

Been

 
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