It appears you have not yet Signed Up with our community. To Sign Up for free, please click here....



Depression Message Board
Post New Thread   Closed Thread
LinkBack Thread Tools
Old 04-27-2009, 08:25 PM   #1
Newbie
(male)
 
Join Date: Apr 2009
Posts: 1
SurgicalVirgin HB User
25 Year Old Virgin

I'm a, friendless, 25 year-old male virgin, college drop-out who lives with his parents. I hate myself for all the things I have, and have not, done. The last 7 years of my life have been a complete waste. And on top of that I have Major Depressive Disorder and Social Anxiety Disorder, both of which have contributed to my on and off drug abuse over the last 7 or 8 years. Also I have never dated nor kissed a girl. I can barely hold a converstion with anyone. The shame and guilt are getting to be way too much to bare.

p.s. do not pity me

 
Old 04-28-2009, 07:19 AM   #2
Newbie
(female)
 
Join Date: Apr 2009
Posts: 5
Red Hot HB User
Re: 25 Year Old Virgin

Why do you feel ashamed and guilty - you should not be either of these!! Do you have any goals or aspirations? You are still young and can change your life around perhaps you need to set yourself some challenges - say joining a gym or something, these are always good for meeting people and exercise can help to make you feel better about yourself.

I suffer depression on and off but I always feel better when I exercise regularly....... it could be a starting point!!

Be strong!!
Red x

 
Sponsors Lightbulb
   
Old 04-29-2009, 04:57 PM   #3
Member
(male)
 
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: London
Posts: 57
S3ntuhom3 HB User
Re: 25 Year Old Virgin

Hello friend,
Your better to still have your virginity rather than doing what I did- losing it on a very drunk night out - which has now given me a considerable amount of penile discomfort. (If anyone wants to give me advice please search my username). Anyway back to you!!
I totally agree with the previous post from red hot- get a goal sorted and set your mind to something- I can't say by experiance because I've never had a proper girlfriend- but I am certain women will admire you for your strength and your personality.I believe There is someone for everyone- some cases just may take longer. Get out there and find your girl!!
I hope this response is useful to you and I hope I don't sound at all arrogant or demeaning( spellcheck please). Basically mate go find your girl and assuming she is a genuine and caring woman she will not be bothered. You deserve the right to a woman!!
Please reply and let me know how you are doing. I genuinely hope that when I hear from you next that you've got a special girl on the go!- I missed the part of your disorders which sort of defeats my reply but I hope you manage to get yourself a girl and set some goals.
Good luck friend!!
S3ntuhom3
S3ntuhom3

Last edited by S3ntuhom3; 04-29-2009 at 05:03 PM. Reason: I misread part of the post

 
Old 04-29-2009, 05:32 PM   #4
Senior Veteran
(male)
 
Join Date: Oct 2006
Posts: 735
Seymour93 HB User
Re: 25 Year Old Virgin

Quote:
Originally Posted by SurgicalVirgin View Post
I'm a, friendless, 25 year-old male virgin, college drop-out who lives with his parents. I hate myself for all the things I have, and have not, done. The last 7 years of my life have been a complete waste. And on top of that I have Major Depressive Disorder and Social Anxiety Disorder, both of which have contributed to my on and off drug abuse over the last 7 or 8 years. Also I have never dated nor kissed a girl. I can barely hold a converstion with anyone. The shame and guilt are getting to be way too much to bare.

p.s. do not pity me
I have to think you will need professional help(therapist) with a problem such as this....Get out of the house every day. Limit time online. Give up all drugs including alcohol. Set small goals. Do or say something nice for someone every day.

 
Old 04-29-2009, 06:01 PM   #5
Junior Member
(male)
 
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: Cleveland
Posts: 32
Epicus HB User
Re: 25 Year Old Virgin

Quote:
Originally Posted by Red Hot View Post
Why do you feel ashamed and guilty - you should not be either of these!! Do you have any goals or aspirations? You are still young and can change your life around perhaps you need to set yourself some challenges - say joining a gym or something, these are always good for meeting people and exercise can help to make you feel better about yourself.

I suffer depression on and off but I always feel better when I exercise regularly....... it could be a starting point!!

Be strong!!
Red x
Were you not reading his post? He said he has social anxiety. Going to a gym would make him feel more worthless because he would just be intimidated by all of the guys and girls there. He would feel like the least strongest, most out of shape, ugliest guy amongst all of them, and this alone would motivate him to stay away from girls with the lack of confidence.

You need to see a psychiatrist man. Talk about it with your parents and let them know, let them get involved. They will take things into their own hands and help you through it until you are well enough to do things on your own.

This type of depression is known as "hikkikomori" in Japan (google it). This is a very common disorder in Japan, and it's a serious condition that can ruin all aspects of life if left untreated.

P.S.: No World of Warcraft or other influencing MMO keeping you indoors?

Last edited by Epicus; 04-29-2009 at 06:03 PM.

 
Old 05-01-2009, 08:38 AM   #6
Veteran
(male)
 
Join Date: Nov 2006
Posts: 459
Survivor3 HB User
Re: 25 Year Old Virgin

No simple solution. Having said that, I like the gym idea or any low pressure setting for mingling. Sooner or later the right situation will present itself for friendship or whatever.

 
Old 05-01-2009, 12:56 PM   #7
Senior Member
(female)
 
Join Date: May 2009
Location: West Virginia
Posts: 129
KristaK HB User
Re: 25 Year Old Virgin

First thing is first, get up off of your bum and live!
Life is what we make it! so live life like there is no tomorrow.
Don't roll over and die, get up and live, and strive to make yourself known.
I used to be exactly like you. I literally gave up on life.
Until one little promise to my mom, took over. And now I'm better for it.
__________________
Eat to live, not live to Eat.

 
Old 05-04-2009, 07:12 PM   #8
Inactive
(male)
 
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: USA
Posts: 162
Matt321 HB User
Re: 25 Year Old Virgin

i have major depressive disorder and cannot feel drugs, man up.

guilt is fake, shame is fake. get over yourself and start putting your initiatives first.

i face my panic balls first. matter of fact I'm about to get out of my comfort zone.
2 years of not thinking can take it's toll, we have different depressions obviously and can't say I have the proper advice, it's just what i'd do and do DAILY for the past 600+ DAYS straight.

 
Old 05-07-2009, 12:37 AM   #9
Veteran
(female)
 
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: USA
Posts: 470
plasva HB User
Re: 25 Year Old Virgin

Hello,

The first thing you must do is get some rehab to get off drugs. Look up "alcoholics anonymous" or "narcotics anonymous" in your local phone book and call them, if you have no idea where to start this process.
As long as you're addicted to drugs, you won't be able to turn your life around. People DO completely turn their lives around, and you can too, but it starts with the rehab...

PS: Don't feel bad about being a virgin. You are very lucky to be one!! Be proud, because someday, you'll be glad you waited for the right person. Being a virgin is a blessing.

 
Old 05-07-2009, 02:36 PM   #10
Veteran
(male)
 
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Wales, UK
Posts: 465
Therag HB User
Re: 25 Year Old Virgin

Quote:
Originally Posted by SurgicalVirgin View Post
I'm a, friendless, 25 year-old male virgin, college drop-out who lives with his parents. I hate myself for all the things I have, and have not, done. The last 7 years of my life have been a complete waste. And on top of that I have Major Depressive Disorder and Social Anxiety Disorder, both of which have contributed to my on and off drug abuse over the last 7 or 8 years. Also I have never dated nor kissed a girl. I can barely hold a converstion with anyone. The shame and guilt are getting to be way too much to bare.

p.s. do not pity me
Hi, i don't know what to say except that i am a 28 year old virgin and also never dated. The fact that i am a virgin is no longer as worrying as it used to be but the worrying part is my inability to ask girls out, i have painfully low self esteem which stops me from even making friends. There's nothing worse for me than feeling inadequete from never having had a girlfriend.

Last edited by Therag; 05-07-2009 at 02:37 PM.

 
Old 05-07-2009, 04:26 PM   #11
Junior Member
(male)
 
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Washington state
Posts: 35
blackjack89 HB User
Re: 25 Year Old Virgin

Quote:
Originally Posted by Therag View Post
Hi, i don't know what to say except that i am a 28 year old virgin and also never dated. The fact that i am a virgin is no longer as worrying as it used to be but the worrying part is my inability to ask girls out, i have painfully low self esteem which stops me from even making friends. There's nothing worse for me than feeling inadequete from never having had a girlfriend.
For me it's not any feeling of inadequacy that bothers me. I'm just sick of being looked down on for it.

 
Old 05-07-2009, 08:13 PM   #12
Junior Member
(female)
 
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: Anna, Texas USA
Posts: 26
AlisaBeth HB User
Re: 25 Year Old Virgin

Go skydiving... Check your area for a drop zone...You will feel you can conquer the world. I felt my very best mentally when I was jumping.

Last edited by AlisaBeth; 05-07-2009 at 08:14 PM.

 
Old 05-09-2009, 07:06 PM   #13
Member
(male)
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: USA
Posts: 92
Bonds81 HB User
Re: 25 Year Old Virgin

Aloneness is depression's best friend as I'm sure you know. The old sick and tired of being sick and tired kicks in with whatever issue we face. When you're ready to deal with this, you'll know it.

Last edited by Bonds81; 05-09-2009 at 07:08 PM.

 
Old 05-10-2009, 03:09 PM   #14
Member
(male)
 
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: London
Posts: 57
S3ntuhom3 HB User
Re: 25 Year Old Virgin

This is for therag and surgical..

Guys I believe you have both already conquered a great fear:

You have discussed your worries with everyone and that can be tricky!!

So great job for that!

Secondly guys, we may only be random peole on the Internet but through discussions I feel like I have made friends throughout this website!!

So WE are your friends!!

The people on this post are awesome!

Your small steps at first will grow and when you are ready you be able to get that confidence and you'll accomplish even more!!

How do we learn and improve- we practice, we take baby steps.

Try and do something new for you that you might feel uncomfortable with..

Maybe this isn't a great idea but- the gym issue- maybe even walk into the gym then if your uncomfortable then leave.
Maybe the next time do something- run for 10mins.. Again f it's uncomfortable.. Leave..

Try and forget everything.. Visualize something that you are able to handle and work with that.

Take small steps.


My advice may be rubbish and silly but I am mostly here to try and support you.

So are all the other peole on here- though they give better advice..

I wish you great luck guys.

S3nty

Last edited by S3ntuhom3; 05-10-2009 at 03:12 PM.

 
Old 05-11-2009, 12:04 PM   #15
Veteran
(male)
 
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Wales, UK
Posts: 465
Therag HB User
Re: 25 Year Old Virgin

Thanks, it's a great comfort that there are people who care even though we are strangers on a forum. I think it's actually easier to vent our feelings on a forum with strangers.

 
Closed Thread

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Board Replies Last Post
34 Year Old Virgin CSense Mental Health 8 01-07-2010 11:27 PM
20 year old virgin's period just stopped!!! irregular Hormone Problems 0 02-14-2009 10:28 AM
32 year old virgin man Argamemnon Sexual Health - General 5 09-18-2008 03:32 PM
The 31 Year Old Virgin... violetmusic Sexual Health - Women 14 06-03-2008 09:58 PM
21 year old virgin! jkj972 Sexual Health - General 10 09-11-2007 12:48 PM




Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is Off
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off




Join Our Newsletter

Stay healthy through tips curated by our health experts.

Whoops,

There was a problem adding your email Try again

Thank You

Your email has been added








TOP THANKED CONTRIBUTORS



flamesabers (79), Phoenix (43), keenobserver (20), katlin09 (13), Diverdan8 (11), WhistleDixie (10), cuddles1 (9), neveragain444 (9), rosequartz (9), blessed824 (9)

Site Wide Totals

teteri66 (1180), MSJayhawk (1013), Apollo123 (909), Titchou (856), janewhite1 (823), Gabriel (763), ladybud (755), midwest1 (670), sammy64 (668), BlueSkies14 (607)



All times are GMT -7. The time now is 08:55 AM.



Site owned and operated by HealthBoards.comô
Terms of Use © 1998-2014 HealthBoards.comô All rights reserved.
Do not copy or redistribute in any form!