I've had on-and-off depression/anxiety for most of my teen years and although my mental health seemed to improve as I matured (I had trouble in high school bcause I was also very shy, but by college I made more friends and was fairly satisfied with my life) I've had an extremely traumatic event this past year, and seem to be having more trouble than ever now.
I have a few questions. First off, how do you really tell if you have anxiety or depression?
Second, I think I have an eating disorder because I can't get myself to eat right since the incident, I have stomach problems and it just sucks. I have no appetite most of the day, either force myself to eat normal food, or end up eating liquid food/froyo that goes down easy. Then I binge on that no matter how much I don't want to, I just have this intense craving for ice cream and only ice cream. I can make myself not binge, but only if I plan out what I have or have nothing, and then I lose more weight (I'm really underweight so it's not good if I lose more, but at the same time it's not really helpful to have unhealthy food either and healthy food I've had no appetite for/non-liquid food bothers my stomach)
I think the eating is one of my main problmes but I'm afraid to tell even my therapist. I just started seeing, so.. pleae some advice.. how can I shake this awful feeling.. see I feel like I'm stuck, because normally I see what it is I need to do, and even if it's really hard I eventually am miserable enough to decide to force myself to do whatever it is that's really hard that'll improve my life so I won't be miserable anymore if that makes sense (like I forced myself to be more outgoing before, despite how nervous I get) but this time, I just feel overwhelmed like I really CAN'T help myself no matter how hard I try!
How can I go about fixing things? What should I do first? Would making a plan help or would I just be setting myself up for failure? I tell myself to do certain things, like get more rest, etc. that I think will help me to improve things, but then I get insomnia.. like when I should be sleeping, it makes it harder to sleep (I sleep like a baby on the rare occasion I let myself stay in bed when I shouldn't be sleeping! That's the only time I sleep good actually because it's the one time I'm not trying