Originally Posted by Anguished
My alarm wakes me up at 6am, I switch it off instantly and try to get up but the pain in my body doesn't lets me. I have real bad back ache, maybe because for years I've sat on this chair and wasted myself chatting and doing nothing. Next is the neck and shoulders, and to add on pain in abdomen.
I sleep till I can ignoring my underpaid work, and when I get up at 12noon I feel how disgusted my life is, and how much I suck.
Somehow I eat but I don't feel like eating anything, I just feel like doing nothing, I'm exhausted even when I walk in and around my house. I'm 24 or maybe I'm 25, and I'm still living with my parents on their money. I was not guided properly and I don't have college degrees to get me a job. My knowledge is outdated and I don't have money to do nothing.
After all this in evening I see that I'm heading nowhere. I suck and I know it very well, even when I try to get better a small gush of air is enough to make me fall. But I don't wanna be like this. I don't do drugs, I don't drink these days neither do I smoke. I'm just so very fedup with my life. I feel like I would never be able to do anything properly never be able to work and earn money.
I guess the reason could be my past episodes with my life. I started my own business when I was in high school. I was rolling in money then. But my dad went bankrupt and he demanded money from me, I said I can't take no responsibility and left the business. Today my mother earns and feeds me and my dad. I was on a rocket and I went high. I remember there wasn't anything like me anywhere close to what I used to be, but today I'm just an old bogus good for nothing lad. I see only looser.
Sometimes I take Lorazepam 2mg to sleep and I do sleep well. But I wanna leave all this. I wanna get better. I want to join Tai Chi or Yoga or some other recreation class, but I don't get the energy in my body. I feel I've lost everything. I'm a big looser, who has lost each and everything in his life.
I would be thankful if someone can guide me some medication which can help me with my problem and also how to get that lost energy back in my body.
I was thinking about taking Mirtazapine or Escitalopram or maybe something else I don't know. I'm confused and messed up.
Sorry for sounding this way, Its like something in between my ears has malfunctioned.
I am very glad to have come across your poste it gives me a little purpose and think you are doing the right thing by truly expressing your feelings.
You are not wasting your life away but meirly taking the first step into the futare by calling out for help.
I will tell you a very brief summery of my life so that you can relate.
I was injured some time back my injury was devastating to me, I the same into business operating several businesses at once living life in the fast lane very stressed all the time, money never being an object although i could never keep it in my pocket no matter how much i had.
When I was your age I was rollin around in limos with a possie of ten around me all the time, I never left my house unless i had $20,000 in my pocket and $15,000 worth of apperal on. yes i too was on a rocket ship.
Although this was something to always remember and something many dream of this is not what i would choose now.
My injury devestated me. I lost everything absoulutly everything.
I was unable to get out of bed and when i did I only made it to the couch.
By the time of my injury my family and so called friends had well exhausted me of my funds I was actualy working a job for 15 smackers an hr and trying to start a couple online businesses on the side.
With my injury came the battle of my life and its not over yet.
I lost my whole summer stuck inside only leaving to tend medical appointments, very sick of T.V. and bored
Something people don't understand is that when you are stuck in the house injured feeling worhless you loose your mind, Most of the time feeling like you are imprisioned. people always bothering us inviting us out or buggin on the phone, what do they not understand we just want to be left alone, we can't do the things we use to and don't want to hear how good there life is, as we know ours sucks.
All we ever do is complain.People never understanding the pain where in always trying to justify it.
Listen it's not our fault we are this way but I believe everything happens for a reason. ( no I'm not religous) I just believe this.
We ask why me it doesn't make sence. But realy my friend it does, we just have to find it.
We are actualy very lucky to be in the state we are, we just have to find our purpose so that we can fullfill our lives.
And living with our injuries can be very fullfilling and i hope i can help you and others get there.
Before my injury as I said stressed to the max, never taking a breath working a full time job just to make ends meet so that i could in my spare time hope to get a business rollin.
My wife always naggin me to do this or that, my family always buggin cause I had to tend family gatherings. My wife fix this fix that, take the garbage out mow the lawn, always worring about going to work tired and obligated to be there listining to a boss, woundering what was the purpose of all this why am I hear working my butt off just to make ends meet.
Well once my injury hit I could barley put food on my table and was constantly sick to my stomach with stress. Thinking I would never be able to live life again.
Well since then my injury, it has gotten a lot worse and i am barley able to walk now only just to get around the house. If i as much as cough the wrong way it can put me into emergancy surgery.
And the last time I ended up there my legs going parylized scared me enough to learn how to manage this injury, so i would never end up there again.
I thought it was over due to mass effect on my spinal cord surgery is only an option if it becomes an emergancy.
Everthing has come clear to me now, I just need to learn to manage my injury and pain. then i can push forward and indure the bennifates of this injury.
So i am going to help and teach you how to do the same so you can begin enjoying the bennifates that come with this.
The first thing is dealing with the pain and injury.
I have tried percaset, moraphine, lyrica and every type of tylenol, none helping the pain but making me confussed and unable to do much other then lay there like a vegtable.
I have found a medication that suites my injury very well.
It is called Tramadol.
Tramadol is a slow release pain medication you only take 1 a day and it allows you to think clearly, and doesn't make you confussed.
It takes all the stress, and anxioty out of your life and allows you to be content doing what you are doing. i guess in a way it slows life down a bit and allows you to focuss on pushing forward. You are able to sleep through the night without pain and find yourself taking leisure naps during the day but get great pleasure out of it rather then feel bad about it.
tramadol can be given in many size doses, i am on a high dose now as I am in a lot of pain but will eventualy begin the process of wiening myself into smaller doses as my life becomes more active.
I am only using this as a tool rather then obligating my life around it.
So i guess the first thing is to find the medication that suites your injury allowing you to deal with it. Do i recomend tramadol "YES"
Heres the thing, I have thought about things very carefully.
People work there whole lives so that they can one day retire and enjoy the bennifates of there life long work. Most people working 40 - 50 years just to spend 10 or 20 work free years.
Well guess what I deal with pain but get to retire NOW with 40 - 50 years of work free rather then work. Now this is enjoying a full life. sure some sacrafice but with the right managment it can be great.
I get other bennifates that even people who retire don't get.
I never have to stand in line at a store ever again as my wife and others do all the shopping.
I never have to mow the lawn again and never get nagged to do it.
I never have to take out the garbage again.
If i don't want to go to a family dinner i don't have to and can justify why.
I don't have to answer the phone and only make phone calls when I want.
I never have to report to a boss again, and am never obligated to be anywhere.
I can rest when ever I want, if it means resting at the beach or lake then thats cool as long as i am resting.
I may not have a limo but I never have to drive again so i guess you can say anytime i go somewhere i am choffuered (driven).
When I am somewhat functaning I may never be able to go fishing for trophies again but I have 40 years to catch as many small fish as I want when I want.
If I go to the lake or on a holiday and am enjoying myself i can stay an extra day or week if i want I don't have to be to work on monday.
If I deside to stay up all night heck why not I don't have to be up for work.
I can take schooling through the internet or start a business as pleasure in my own time and when I don't feel like it I can take a nap.
ya I'm injured but look how lucky I realy am.
I do what i want when i want and have 40-50 years of this.
I have been given the oppertunity of a life time.
I now controll my enviroment and nobody can interfear with it, hey I'm injured.
The poor kid down the block bennifates from my injury as he doesn't have much and gets paid to mow my lawn and take out the garbage. So i am also helping those in need.
So this is understanding and dealing with my injury and when we can accept this we can move to phase 3
Our injuries and lives are full of lessons we just need to reflect on them and figure out realy what has happened.
loosing everything and being so broke has taught me how to handle and manage money very well.
It has realy taught me to think and plan very well rather then make decisions on a dime and this has bennifate me very very Much in everything I do including business.
It has taught me to restructure my life and live the life I truly want.
It has given me experiences allowing me to help others.
I understand that this all sounds great but the world revolves around money.
Disability doesn't pay much I know but there are other options available, but first we must accept manage and deal with our injury, when we are content with it, it allows us to think clearly then we can make the right decisions in how to go about utilising the other options.
There are early retirement funds available for those who are forced to retire when they are injured.
There is a world of funding for those who are injured and want to take corrispondence schooling.
There is loads of gouverment funding and grants for small busineses that we can design and operate right from our home, and we have an advantage in being approved for this, thus being injured. the gouvernment will do anything to get you off there payroll.
Just because you can't leave the house doesn't mean you can't operate a fully functaning business. And guess what you never have to do the labour ever again. The gouverment will also support this cause you are providing jobs.
For instance you can easily operate a landscape company right from home and start it very small with 1 part time worker and build from there.
I started one by raking leaves and 3 months later had 10 employees and was doing complete landscape projects right from home.
Online businesses are easy to start and can be done in your leasure time with no time frame obligations and can be done from a laptop right in bed.
If you are having trouble with a proposal or designing a business I will help you I design businesses overnight.
So these are just some of the things that come along with your injury and your life can be very fullfilling and full of advantages. When you understand this the life will come back into you and the money will follow.
I am willing o help you or any one get through this as this seems to be my new purpose in life.
Please don't give up, there is a lot of help available and by starting this thread you are allowing people to help you and others.
Again if theres anything I can do just ask.
The money will come and I will help you get it. Just remember to accept the above first.
I know this poste wasn't put together all that well but I am having trouble with my back right now writting this so i put it together very quick.