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Old 07-29-2009, 07:41 AM   #1
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Feels like I can never do anything in my life.

My alarm wakes me up at 6am, I switch it off instantly and try to get up but the pain in my body doesn't lets me. I have real bad back ache, maybe because for years I've sat on this chair and wasted myself chatting and doing nothing. Next is the neck and shoulders, and to add on pain in abdomen.

I sleep till I can ignoring my underpaid work, and when I get up at 12noon I feel how disgusted my life is, and how much I suck.

Somehow I eat but I don't feel like eating anything, I just feel like doing nothing, I'm exhausted even when I walk in and around my house. I'm 24 or maybe I'm 25, and I'm still living with my parents on their money. I was not guided properly and I don't have college degrees to get me a job. My knowledge is outdated and I don't have money to do nothing.

After all this in evening I see that I'm heading nowhere. I suck and I know it very well, even when I try to get better a small gush of air is enough to make me fall. But I don't wanna be like this. I don't do drugs, I don't drink these days neither do I smoke. I'm just so very fedup with my life. I feel like I would never be able to do anything properly never be able to work and earn money.

I guess the reason could be my past episodes with my life. I started my own business when I was in high school. I was rolling in money then. But my dad went bankrupt and he demanded money from me, I said I can't take no responsibility and left the business. Today my mother earns and feeds me and my dad. I was on a rocket and I went high. I remember there wasn't anything like me anywhere close to what I used to be, but today I'm just an old bogus good for nothing lad. I see only looser.

Sometimes I take Lorazepam 2mg to sleep and I do sleep well. But I wanna leave all this. I wanna get better. I want to join Tai Chi or Yoga or some other recreation class, but I don't get the energy in my body. I feel I've lost everything. I'm a big looser, who has lost each and everything in his life.

I would be thankful if someone can guide me some medication which can help me with my problem and also how to get that lost energy back in my body.

I was thinking about taking Mirtazapine or Escitalopram or maybe something else I don't know. I'm confused and messed up.

Sorry for sounding this way, Its like something in between my ears has malfunctioned.

 
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Old 07-29-2009, 07:48 PM   #2
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Re: Feels like I can never do anything in my life.

Hi,

You are procrastinating big time. That's a part of the depressive symptoms and it's clearly eating you up. You haven't really said much that is too indicative except the clear opinion of yourself as being worthless and a loser.

Of course that is your mind interpreting your life and telling you the future will be the same. It won't be.

You say you don't drink or smoke any more. The loss of those habits can be rather devastating and take time to replace. Often when we do give them up we find nothing to do to replace the time and activity they created. That's where I'd focu in the short term. Finding something to do with your mind and hands to fill the void. To start some action positively in your head. Could be just reading for starters. That takes hands as well you see and occupies your brain too.

I note you asking about specific drugs. That tells me you have either been on meds for long periods already or have simply read up on them and decided they sound good.

Bad approach. The only approach is to see a doc, having accepted you have an illness and need help, and ask for that help. Let the doc advise you, not the other way round. The doc should know if meds are relevant and if so, which ones.

Go see a doc and start thinking of your future. At your age the pain you talk about from sitting in a chair is likely to be fixed with exercise and what you need to do is motivate yourself out of that chair and back to some level of physical fitness. By starting with being honest with a doc.

 
Old 07-29-2009, 10:55 PM   #3
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Re: Feels like I can never do anything in my life.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Anguished View Post
My alarm wakes me up at 6am, I switch it off instantly and try to get up but the pain in my body doesn't lets me. I have real bad back ache, maybe because for years I've sat on this chair and wasted myself chatting and doing nothing. Next is the neck and shoulders, and to add on pain in abdomen.

I sleep till I can ignoring my underpaid work, and when I get up at 12noon I feel how disgusted my life is, and how much I suck.

Somehow I eat but I don't feel like eating anything, I just feel like doing nothing, I'm exhausted even when I walk in and around my house. I'm 24 or maybe I'm 25, and I'm still living with my parents on their money. I was not guided properly and I don't have college degrees to get me a job. My knowledge is outdated and I don't have money to do nothing.

After all this in evening I see that I'm heading nowhere. I suck and I know it very well, even when I try to get better a small gush of air is enough to make me fall. But I don't wanna be like this. I don't do drugs, I don't drink these days neither do I smoke. I'm just so very fedup with my life. I feel like I would never be able to do anything properly never be able to work and earn money.

I guess the reason could be my past episodes with my life. I started my own business when I was in high school. I was rolling in money then. But my dad went bankrupt and he demanded money from me, I said I can't take no responsibility and left the business. Today my mother earns and feeds me and my dad. I was on a rocket and I went high. I remember there wasn't anything like me anywhere close to what I used to be, but today I'm just an old bogus good for nothing lad. I see only looser.

Sometimes I take Lorazepam 2mg to sleep and I do sleep well. But I wanna leave all this. I wanna get better. I want to join Tai Chi or Yoga or some other recreation class, but I don't get the energy in my body. I feel I've lost everything. I'm a big looser, who has lost each and everything in his life.

I would be thankful if someone can guide me some medication which can help me with my problem and also how to get that lost energy back in my body.

I was thinking about taking Mirtazapine or Escitalopram or maybe something else I don't know. I'm confused and messed up.

Sorry for sounding this way, Its like something in between my ears has malfunctioned.
I am very glad to have come across your poste it gives me a little purpose and think you are doing the right thing by truly expressing your feelings.
You are not wasting your life away but meirly taking the first step into the futare by calling out for help.

I will tell you a very brief summery of my life so that you can relate.
I was injured some time back my injury was devastating to me, I the same into business operating several businesses at once living life in the fast lane very stressed all the time, money never being an object although i could never keep it in my pocket no matter how much i had.
When I was your age I was rollin around in limos with a possie of ten around me all the time, I never left my house unless i had $20,000 in my pocket and $15,000 worth of apperal on. yes i too was on a rocket ship.
Although this was something to always remember and something many dream of this is not what i would choose now.

My injury devestated me. I lost everything absoulutly everything.
I was unable to get out of bed and when i did I only made it to the couch.
By the time of my injury my family and so called friends had well exhausted me of my funds I was actualy working a job for 15 smackers an hr and trying to start a couple online businesses on the side.
With my injury came the battle of my life and its not over yet.
I lost my whole summer stuck inside only leaving to tend medical appointments, very sick of T.V. and bored
Something people don't understand is that when you are stuck in the house injured feeling worhless you loose your mind, Most of the time feeling like you are imprisioned. people always bothering us inviting us out or buggin on the phone, what do they not understand we just want to be left alone, we can't do the things we use to and don't want to hear how good there life is, as we know ours sucks.
All we ever do is complain.People never understanding the pain where in always trying to justify it.
Listen it's not our fault we are this way but I believe everything happens for a reason. ( no I'm not religous) I just believe this.
We ask why me it doesn't make sence. But realy my friend it does, we just have to find it.
We are actualy very lucky to be in the state we are, we just have to find our purpose so that we can fullfill our lives.
And living with our injuries can be very fullfilling and i hope i can help you and others get there.
Before my injury as I said stressed to the max, never taking a breath working a full time job just to make ends meet so that i could in my spare time hope to get a business rollin.
My wife always naggin me to do this or that, my family always buggin cause I had to tend family gatherings. My wife fix this fix that, take the garbage out mow the lawn, always worring about going to work tired and obligated to be there listining to a boss, woundering what was the purpose of all this why am I hear working my butt off just to make ends meet.

Well once my injury hit I could barley put food on my table and was constantly sick to my stomach with stress. Thinking I would never be able to live life again.
Well since then my injury, it has gotten a lot worse and i am barley able to walk now only just to get around the house. If i as much as cough the wrong way it can put me into emergancy surgery.
And the last time I ended up there my legs going parylized scared me enough to learn how to manage this injury, so i would never end up there again.
I thought it was over due to mass effect on my spinal cord surgery is only an option if it becomes an emergancy.

Everthing has come clear to me now, I just need to learn to manage my injury and pain. then i can push forward and indure the bennifates of this injury.
So i am going to help and teach you how to do the same so you can begin enjoying the bennifates that come with this.
The first thing is dealing with the pain and injury.
I have tried percaset, moraphine, lyrica and every type of tylenol, none helping the pain but making me confussed and unable to do much other then lay there like a vegtable.
I have found a medication that suites my injury very well.
It is called Tramadol.
Tramadol is a slow release pain medication you only take 1 a day and it allows you to think clearly, and doesn't make you confussed.
It takes all the stress, and anxioty out of your life and allows you to be content doing what you are doing. i guess in a way it slows life down a bit and allows you to focuss on pushing forward. You are able to sleep through the night without pain and find yourself taking leisure naps during the day but get great pleasure out of it rather then feel bad about it.
tramadol can be given in many size doses, i am on a high dose now as I am in a lot of pain but will eventualy begin the process of wiening myself into smaller doses as my life becomes more active.
I am only using this as a tool rather then obligating my life around it.
So i guess the first thing is to find the medication that suites your injury allowing you to deal with it. Do i recomend tramadol "YES"

Heres the thing, I have thought about things very carefully.
People work there whole lives so that they can one day retire and enjoy the bennifates of there life long work. Most people working 40 - 50 years just to spend 10 or 20 work free years.
Well guess what I deal with pain but get to retire NOW with 40 - 50 years of work free rather then work. Now this is enjoying a full life. sure some sacrafice but with the right managment it can be great.
I get other bennifates that even people who retire don't get.
I never have to stand in line at a store ever again as my wife and others do all the shopping.
I never have to mow the lawn again and never get nagged to do it.
I never have to take out the garbage again.
If i don't want to go to a family dinner i don't have to and can justify why.
I don't have to answer the phone and only make phone calls when I want.
I never have to report to a boss again, and am never obligated to be anywhere.
I can rest when ever I want, if it means resting at the beach or lake then thats cool as long as i am resting.
I may not have a limo but I never have to drive again so i guess you can say anytime i go somewhere i am choffuered (driven).
When I am somewhat functaning I may never be able to go fishing for trophies again but I have 40 years to catch as many small fish as I want when I want.
If I go to the lake or on a holiday and am enjoying myself i can stay an extra day or week if i want I don't have to be to work on monday.
If I deside to stay up all night heck why not I don't have to be up for work.
I can take schooling through the internet or start a business as pleasure in my own time and when I don't feel like it I can take a nap.
ya I'm injured but look how lucky I realy am.
I do what i want when i want and have 40-50 years of this.
I have been given the oppertunity of a life time.
I now controll my enviroment and nobody can interfear with it, hey I'm injured.
The poor kid down the block bennifates from my injury as he doesn't have much and gets paid to mow my lawn and take out the garbage. So i am also helping those in need.

So this is understanding and dealing with my injury and when we can accept this we can move to phase 3

Our injuries and lives are full of lessons we just need to reflect on them and figure out realy what has happened.
loosing everything and being so broke has taught me how to handle and manage money very well.
It has realy taught me to think and plan very well rather then make decisions on a dime and this has bennifate me very very Much in everything I do including business.
It has taught me to restructure my life and live the life I truly want.
It has given me experiences allowing me to help others.

I understand that this all sounds great but the world revolves around money.
Disability doesn't pay much I know but there are other options available, but first we must accept manage and deal with our injury, when we are content with it, it allows us to think clearly then we can make the right decisions in how to go about utilising the other options.
There are early retirement funds available for those who are forced to retire when they are injured.
There is a world of funding for those who are injured and want to take corrispondence schooling.
There is loads of gouverment funding and grants for small busineses that we can design and operate right from our home, and we have an advantage in being approved for this, thus being injured. the gouvernment will do anything to get you off there payroll.
Just because you can't leave the house doesn't mean you can't operate a fully functaning business. And guess what you never have to do the labour ever again. The gouverment will also support this cause you are providing jobs.
For instance you can easily operate a landscape company right from home and start it very small with 1 part time worker and build from there.
I started one by raking leaves and 3 months later had 10 employees and was doing complete landscape projects right from home.
Online businesses are easy to start and can be done in your leasure time with no time frame obligations and can be done from a laptop right in bed.
If you are having trouble with a proposal or designing a business I will help you I design businesses overnight.

So these are just some of the things that come along with your injury and your life can be very fullfilling and full of advantages. When you understand this the life will come back into you and the money will follow.
I am willing o help you or any one get through this as this seems to be my new purpose in life.
Please don't give up, there is a lot of help available and by starting this thread you are allowing people to help you and others.
Again if theres anything I can do just ask.
The money will come and I will help you get it. Just remember to accept the above first.
I know this poste wasn't put together all that well but I am having trouble with my back right now writting this so i put it together very quick.

 
Old 07-30-2009, 04:44 PM   #4
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Seymour93 HB User
Re: Feels like I can never do anything in my life.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Anguished View Post

I guess the reason could be my past episodes with my life. I started my own business when I was in high school. I was rolling in money then. But my dad went bankrupt and he demanded money from me, I said I can't take no responsibility and left the business.
Your insight has you ahead of the game. A counselor can reframe this episode in your life. Another perspective can help.

 
Old 07-30-2009, 10:21 PM   #5
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Re: Feels like I can never do anything in my life.

I as well agree to counsiling. I tend a mental therapist and it plays a majour impact on my life

 
Old 07-31-2009, 07:02 AM   #6
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Re: Feels like I can never do anything in my life.

Thnx for the reply in here. I wasn't expecting much.

The story sounded really helpful and at some point your words made me feel you understand what I'm going through as I just don't feel like talking to anyone but people still keep on getting close and in turn they get hurt which I don't want them to.

In my locality there ain't any good therapists available. I started listening to Anthony Robbins and other audio books that motivate people. I stay up and motivated for a while but then again that lethargy comes back and starts hitting me bad. Today things felt better, I got up with my 6am alarm, and even did my chores, I thought of taking today as vacation and then getting back to work tomorrow, but by evening that depressive feeling came back, dunno from where it came. I don't feel right that's what I know, some insecurity about my career my life, what am I going to do with my life and since I just watch some Kill Bill flick in the end I feel damn I can't do anything in my life.

The feeling or this thought which my brain keeps on resonating back to me is deeply rooted. I'm an individual who is a hard worker and who never likes wasting anything be it energy or food or fuel. Now I see that I'm wasted my life is wasted and there is nothing that I can do to fix it. Three years back I thought of having my own Ferrari today I'm not in a position to pay for a used Oldsmobile. So its very difficult for me to compromise with my life, to accept that this is what I'm supposed to live with or to get better from here. I'm so bloody confused. Sometimes I wanna be a Martial Arts expert, sometimes I want to be a Pianist, or a Civil Engineer, but then I realize all doors are closed as I don't have any money, my family doesn't have any money, and no one would even give me a loan as my folks are already half under with it. I can't see anything good ever happening to me, at this age I feel like I'm a tad old useless moron who was not even supposed to be born, and I'm here only to see misery and like a pathetic life full of loans credits and bills which I can't pay.

 
Old 08-01-2009, 01:04 AM   #7
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Re: Feels like I can never do anything in my life.

I'm pretty tired right now and its late.
I thought about messaging tomm morning but I feel compelled at least to address a little of this. I can sleep anouther time you need help.
I'm not a therapest but I have been through all this and have found my own way to deal with my problems.
Your last responce kinda put me in your position so I can understand and hopefully help.
I know many may disagree with what I have to say but I went from wanting to fall asleep and never waking up to being very happy about what has happened to me filling me with life.
Don't worry I will help you but I can only help you if you are willing to accept it.
If it means getting you set up with a business then so be it.
If thats what you want, but understand there is much work first, you need to find what you truly want and thats what I need to get out of you.
I know some of the things I say people will disagree with while others will find it very bennificial, but it worked for me so why not try it out.
I am on a mission to help people right now.

It hurt me alot shutting people out of my life but with out doing this it is hard to deal with our problems everybody telling us what to do offering there advice and bothering us all the time.
I will be honest with you shutting absoulutly every one out is what got me through this.
I just explained to every one that I was mentaly unstable and was working on fixing it and would accept them back when the time was right and made it clear that there was no intention to hurt them nor did they do anything to diserve this but I needed to be alone and deal with some things
I can barley deal with my own stress let alone having others stress me out. having others feel sorrow for me was to much I could barley deal with my own.
So I did just this sorry every one, and I was alone it was hard but it helped me think and get things under controll with out the added pressure of everyone else.
So still I don't answer my phone unless its my lawyer or docter.
I am however starting to slowly email people, I realy like this cause I can edit everything I say I can pull in and out of a conversation as I please and don't have to respond if I don't want. I am able to controll the conversation.
This is very important. We need to own the conversation.
We don't say I want or can you.
We say I need, Like I need help not I want help. I want to do my chores or I need to do my chores. I want today off or I need today off.
Do what you NEED to do and own it. You need today off you are hurt don't let anyone tell you different.
Don't feel worthless just cause you NEED today off. This is effecting your state of mind. Stop thinking about what anyone thinks of you. Who cares what they think you need things. You are hurt and are doing self help to get better. You NEED to help yourself and are, thats good enough in my eyes to justify doing nothing today if this will help.
How are you going to ever push foreward and help your self if everybodies judging you.
So listen if you wanna shut every one out then do it then you will only hurt them once at least till your better. This would be the first step once you deal with this then you can help yourself. Oh wait you just helped yourself.
I know your broke and you know what dreaming of a farrari will not get it for you. But neither will killing our selves tryin to get it. If you want it it will come. My problem was I wanted everything now, and am realising now that life has slowed down these things are still comming to me but I am able to enjoy them.
I wanted to be rich so bad and have all these busineses that I almost killed myself trying to get them. Now they are naturaly comming to me.
So right now you are having a hard time being broke but quite fighting it it will end once you help yourself and probley you will in the end get more then what you are asking for.
Who are you realy fighting perhaps yourself I know I was I just didn't know this at the time.
So just relax and accept feeling worthless for now.

Do you like any kind of music?
Music is very insperational.
I put on my head phones and pump the music next thing you know I have a business in front of me. You have to get in the groove get pumped think about what you are doing and do it.
* Instructions for locating personal website, and off-board contact removed by hb-mod, moderator *

Maybe start by doing something that doesn't take to much physicly to get you doing a little every day. maybe something on your computer.
In one window put on music and the other start cruisin for ideas.
Once you have a few ideas in front of your self you might get inspired, but start with something small that will give you accomplishment easily. Keep your goals very small right now so you can acomplish them real easy.

If you don't come up with anything please let me know I have a very small mission for you very easy take you only a few minutes and the results may inspire you. you will even make money on your own with this mission.
And get you a little motivated at least maybe even motivate you a few minutes every other day or once a week. then we can let this escalate on its own.
If you can take the time to respond to this then then you can do this.

Thank you hb-mod for the edit..I will read policy

Last edited by Randyrockpile; 08-01-2009 at 06:16 AM. Reason: Please do not post instructions and/or links to commercial websites. Please read and follow Posting Policy. Thanks! :)

 
Old 08-04-2009, 06:48 AM   #8
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Anguished HB User
Re: Feels like I can never do anything in my life.

Hey Randyrockpile,

Thanks for that initiative. I would surely like to know what you have for me, and if possible will head on to it.

But for this moment, this excessive pain in my head, and a feeling of being sick inside makes me call myself a looser. I'm in a mode where I cannot take anything coming to me. I was reading an article explaining some words and I was unable to read these words as they sounded so difficult and my acceptance switch is off so I cannot take it. I cannot read and understand it or remember it. If I try doing so I get a real bad pain in my head and I feel sad and low.

Sometimes all I wish to do is just pop a pill and make things better. I've been thinking about taking Mirtazapine, shall I take it?

 
Old 08-05-2009, 08:55 AM   #9
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Re: Feels like I can never do anything in my life.

I will get back at you tomm.
I tried vacuming the house yesterday and today I am back to square one and can't even walk.
I get like that to there are some things on paper at times I just can't comprihend I think it's from the pain.
I still think you should talk to a docter about tramadol, it's a depresent and pain reliever.

 
Old 10-23-2010, 03:57 AM   #10
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Re: Feels like I can never do anything in my life.

Sounds like you need a hard kick in the butt. Do the physical activity. Join a class and get out there and just go for it. Yes, you'll feel tired but you need to force yourself to go to these classes, and force yourself to exercise! I guarantee that you'll be feeling better in two weeks which will help your attitude and eventually land you a job because you'll have more confidence. So, just kick your own butt and get out there and do something physical because you'll feel better about yourself.

 
Old 06-23-2012, 03:52 PM   #11
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Re: Feels like I can never do anything in my life.

Hi dear. I read your message and since I used to feel that way before, I couldn't help sharing this with you: I read a book called You Were Born For a Reason and it changed my life totally together with the help of others in this community. Hope you give it a try as well. I think once we become clear of what the purpose of life is, everything we do gains meaning. of course purpose of life is to attain happiness that never disappoints us. If you are interested, please contace me. Hope you recover quickly.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Anguished View Post
My alarm wakes me up at 6am, I switch it off instantly and try to get up but the pain in my body doesn't lets me. I have real bad back ache, maybe because for years I've sat on this chair and wasted myself chatting and doing nothing. Next is the neck and shoulders, and to add on pain in abdomen.

I sleep till I can ignoring my underpaid work, and when I get up at 12noon I feel how disgusted my life is, and how much I suck.

Somehow I eat but I don't feel like eating anything, I just feel like doing nothing, I'm exhausted even when I walk in and around my house. I'm 24 or maybe I'm 25, and I'm still living with my parents on their money. I was not guided properly and I don't have college degrees to get me a job. My knowledge is outdated and I don't have money to do nothing.

After all this in evening I see that I'm heading nowhere. I suck and I know it very well, even when I try to get better a small gush of air is enough to make me fall. But I don't wanna be like this. I don't do drugs, I don't drink these days neither do I smoke. I'm just so very fedup with my life. I feel like I would never be able to do anything properly never be able to work and earn money.

I guess the reason could be my past episodes with my life. I started my own business when I was in high school. I was rolling in money then. But my dad went bankrupt and he demanded money from me, I said I can't take no responsibility and left the business. Today my mother earns and feeds me and my dad. I was on a rocket and I went high. I remember there wasn't anything like me anywhere close to what I used to be, but today I'm just an old bogus good for nothing lad. I see only looser.

Sometimes I take Lorazepam 2mg to sleep and I do sleep well. But I wanna leave all this. I wanna get better. I want to join Tai Chi or Yoga or some other recreation class, but I don't get the energy in my body. I feel I've lost everything. I'm a big looser, who has lost each and everything in his life.

I would be thankful if someone can guide me some medication which can help me with my problem and also how to get that lost energy back in my body.

I was thinking about taking Mirtazapine or Escitalopram or maybe something else I don't know. I'm confused and messed up.

Sorry for sounding this way, Its like something in between my ears has malfunctioned.

 
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