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Old 08-04-2009, 09:16 PM   #1
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Seeing a Psychologist

I've been so very depressed since my mom died a couple weeks ago. Right away I went to see a Psychologist. I've seen her twice now and I noticed that she kept looking at the clock. On top of that, she didn't even remember what I told her the week before. She doesn't take notes, she just says "why do you feel that way"? or "how does that make you feel"?

Has anyone whose seen a psychologist before gone through this? I feel worst than I did when I began! I told her I'm so depressed, withdrawn and don't want to do anything. I've gotten no answers.

Is this normal????

 
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Old 08-05-2009, 02:56 AM   #2
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reg12 HB User
Re: Seeing a Psychologist

Hello DBM. So sorry to hear about your mom. I just had a loss on the 2nd of last month. It is a difficult time for you right now. Any T will ask you "how does that make you feel", "why do you say that" and "why do you feel that way". They are looking for answers from you about your feelings. Sometimes we just do not want to tell them everything right away, so they have to keep looking. You apparently do not feel comfortable with her and that is not very good for your progress. You may want to talk to her about this problem or simply try another one. You are there for assistance not another thing to worry about. Oh and ask questions. Its your time too. Good luck.

 
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Old 08-05-2009, 06:49 PM   #3
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Re: Seeing a Psychologist

Do they normally just sit there and not say anything? It's so uncomfortable. Maybe she's waiting for me to spill everything and doesn't want to interrupt? I feel so hopeless and cry all the time.

 
Old 08-05-2009, 08:19 PM   #4
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Re: Seeing a Psychologist

It depends upon her theoretical orientation. Some perspectives are more assertive, others are very passive and let the patient pretty much do all the talking. Silence is actually a technique that is used. Not to make you feel uncomfortable, but for you to think more about the question at hand. You might be better served to find a grief counselor if you think this psych isn't doing anything for you.

Keep in mind though...no matter who you go to, they aren't likely to say "you need to do this and you need to do that". They can't tell you why you are doing something, you have to do the searching for that and figure it out. Good luck.

 
Old 08-06-2009, 06:18 PM   #5
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Re: Seeing a Psychologist

Does anyone know how the psychologist remember what a patient says? She doesn't take notes so is it possible that she's just relying on me repeating myself?

Maybe I'm just thinking of excuses to not go because it's not helping and I feel so miserable.

 
Old 08-06-2009, 08:08 PM   #6
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Re: Seeing a Psychologist

Quote:
Originally Posted by DBM123 View Post
I've been so very depressed since my mom died a couple weeks ago. Right away I went to see a Psychologist. I've seen her twice now and I noticed that she kept looking at the clock. On top of that, she didn't even remember what I told her the week before. She doesn't take notes, she just says "why do you feel that way"? or "how does that make you feel"?

Has anyone whose seen a psychologist before gone through this? I feel worst than I did when I began! I told her I'm so depressed, withdrawn and don't want to do anything. I've gotten no answers.

Is this normal????
It's certainly normal to feel depressed so soon after your mother died. May I ask if you're going to a psychologist b/c you feel that you're mentally ill, or just to help you cope thru this difficult time?

B/c if it's the first, I don't think feeling depressed in this situation is anything to worry about. In fact, it would be more worrying if you didn't feel that way.

Anyway, as far as the Dr., there are many different types of treatment. I believe, especially in the initial sessions, they will generally just encourage you to talk about yourself by asking open ended questions so that they can learn more about you.

As far as staring at the clock, maybe it's just a nervous tic. I used to do that a lot when I wore a watch even when I had no need to know what time it was. I stopped wearing a watch; problem solved! But I can see how that could come across as rude and insulting to you.

Here's an idea. In your next session why don't you say, "Why the hell are you always checking the clock during our sessions?" Also tell her how her style of therapy makes you feel. Just b/c she's a psychologist doesn't mean she's psychic. You have to tell her how you feel.

Last edited by fossilapostle; 08-06-2009 at 08:10 PM.

 
Old 08-06-2009, 08:32 PM   #7
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Re: Seeing a Psychologist

Thanks everyone for the responses.

I decided to see a psychologist because I can't stop crying, I don't want to do anything or talk to anyone, I can't sleep, eat or think straight and all of this scared me. I took care of my mom while she was sick and so I was literally run down. I feel lost and that part of me died along with her. I miss her so much! I don't care about anything anymore. :-(

 
Old 08-07-2009, 09:24 AM   #8
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reg12 HB User
Re: Seeing a Psychologist

Ok DBM thats good. You were her care giver. That is very hard to deal with. She was a part of your life and your routine. She gave you purpose. You used up your energy to keep her comfortable. All that is why you feel such a huge loss. This is a very normal reaction to lose someone that was so close and so dependant on you. Just tell your psych what you shared with us and he should be able to help you. You have some great advice from those that responded. If he does not help you try another psych that specializes in grief like Kiasmama suggested. Let us know how it works out.

 
Old 08-07-2009, 06:10 PM   #9
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Re: Seeing a Psychologist

DBM,

Finding a good psychologist is like finding a good man - expect to kiss a lot of toads =).

The main thing is to find someone you trust and feel comfortable with - this psychologist is just not doing it for you! Don't waste any more time with her. There is no need. Find another one. Sometimes you have to go to two or three before you find the right one.

As far as not taking notes - I have heard this is due to the discussions that occurred during the recent Federal gun bill which would have made psychiatrist/psychologist records open to to federal authorities without having to gain a search warrant. Apparently that almost went through and the non-note taking is actually for the patient's privacy.

One thing to remember, regardless of the psychologist is that while you only have one of them they have many of you......so they do tend to forget some things.

I have to respectfully disagree with Kiasmama. In certain cases, such as handling grief, there are things and coping strategies you can and should do that help you through the period AND IMHO, the psychologist should be directing you toward those activities.

In my case, my psychologist does tell me certain tricks that really help me overcome particular instances.

I am so sorry for your loss.

Last edited by Snakebit; 08-07-2009 at 06:11 PM.

 
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