Some really good posts on here.
I agree with everyone's posts. Basically - you've gotta set boundaries for yourself. Keep them to yourself. If you decide to help your boyfriend out - help him the way a friend would. Make sure you don't allow his issues become your issues. Set boundaries within yourself - and don't tell him about them - that will maintain enough love and support for him to trust you... But make sure you don't hold on too tight - because YES; his issues can become yours... And you could potentially be led down the pipe with him...
Although its already been said - I'll repeat it for the sake of severity. His problems are his problems. The only way he's going to change - AT ALL - is if he chooses to change.
"Change is a simple as one decision... Its YOUR decision to change. "
Just be there for him the same way you would want him to be there for you - if you were in his shoes. Depression is a very hard thing to grasp; especially for those whom haven't experienced the intense emotions associated with it. The whole confidence thing; I agree with. I have lack of confidence - and it SERIOUSLY debilitates my ability to function in today's world... Someone has already mentioned, "Helping him look good will boost his self - confidence..." THAT - is so true. Its so true; and it DOES make a huge difference.
A boxer is a fighter in a ring... He has all the moves, all the strength, and puts out all the punches and pain - alone. BUT - the boxer would not be anything without the corner man, his coach and his inspiration for being there... He must, "SEE," what it is, he's fighting for... And it is up to those whom have his best interest in mind; to REMIND him - occasionally - what it is; that is worth all the pain; what is worth getting back onto your feet after falling down, time after time... Something worth living for - but something you would glady DIE for - to FIGHT for...
Unfortunately, when depressed... Its hard to consistently remind ourselves; of just what it is; thats so GREAT in life; that we should put up a constant battle to fight for. Especially when we constantly fight ourselves - put ourselves down. Lack of confidence is like having no motivation... Its the worst thing.
Perhaps - as a friend - you could remind him what IS possible. Because anything IS; possible. We just gotta remind ourselves of that.
(And NOTHING comes; without a fight... Internal fights, External fights, or BOTH)