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Old 12-19-2009, 11:35 PM   #1
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Unhappy I'm depressed, just need someone to talk to

Hey! I'm a 19 year old, university student. I'm really depressed. I wasn't like this before. I used to live with my parents, and my sister and brother. I was very happy with them and my friends I had. I had a life, you know. But then my university was about to start so I had to move to the place closest to the uni. Now, I'm totally alone, I have no friends. My lifestlye is f*cked up. All I do all day long is eat, study and stare at the computer screen. Whenever I'm on my way to the uni, I see all this happy people, and think to myself, *** HAS MY LIFE TURNED INTO?

I just need someone to talk to. Someone who knows how I feel, and may be anyone who knows how to help me get out of this miserable life of mine. I would kill myself, but I know that's not the answer to my question.

I know you'd say things like, "think of other people whose lives are even worse than you have." Or something like, "at least you have two hands and two legs, you should be thankful."

Well, I know all that, but still, it doesn't help me.

Please Help Me.

 
Old 12-20-2009, 12:25 AM   #2
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the end HB User
Re: I'm depressed, just need someone to talk to

Well I know exactly how ya feel, but unfortunately your the only one that can truly help yourself. I wouldnt be to hard on yourself though, i remember when i first left for the army i was very homesick and depressed. This is a big step for you being off on your own and going to school, its going to take time to adjust. Give yourself a lot of credit though because its not be easy. Good luck.

the end

 
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Old 12-20-2009, 10:16 AM   #3
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Re: I'm depressed, just need someone to talk to

Hello Oppymoss,

I certainly feel your pain. I'm older now, but still suffer from depression. I am going to post a fairly long prior post, that I hope is of help to you. Depression, at it's purest form is evil and methodical, in that it consumes your whole being. There is hope. Please read on, and let me know if I can help.
**************************************** *****************************

Our stories collide in an identical way, though I'm now 46 yrs old. I decided to share mine, as by the grace of God I've been able to come out on the "other side".

I too, had depression as a young child. I was isolated, and afraid to interact with anyone outside my family. My parents sacrificed in a huge way to send me to camps, counselors, doctors, ect...and with each passing one, I had more guilt piling on.

Fast forward to college years. I lived at home, and of course partied as hard as I could. I always held a job, since age 13, but at 21 it was taking it's toll. The first of 4 or 5 rehabs/psych. units....where I actually felt like a king...I could relate to everyone, and was the nice guy...plus, lots of woman in rehab, lol.

My parents finally under advise of my older siblings, sold their home. I had 2 months to find my own place. Newly sober, scared to death to be around people period..my family doc. started me own anti anxiety meds...which started me down a long rode of drug abuse....to the point I was placed on ssd for depression/alcohol/drug abuse....

I was actually told by the evaluating doc, that I would never be able to work again...and thus I stayed in my room, as my wife worked. This went on for seven years.

I had a spiritual awakening ---- which gave me the courage to call ss and say I'm going back to work, full time. My point in rehashing all of this is that while I was on disability we depended on my parents for financial support, and this continued even after returning to the work force. I could not have felt more lower . Being 35 and depending on my parents to help support MY family.

Finally, I had drained everything my parents could give. They are older, and had/have many health issues. I started working 3 jobs, and finally found something that I excelled at. I've been promoted several times, and make an income that I never dreamed possible. That was 4 yrs ago.

Please heed my advice, and don't let 20 yrs. pass you by. Even if you have to tell your parents --- thank you, but I need to work this out on my own. They can be there to love and support you, but with boundaries. I promise you, as hard as it can/will be, in the end it will give you the courage and strength to succeed.

I still struggle with the depression --- not any drug/alcohol abuse issues. I know what I could loose, and I pray and put my "game face" on, no matter what. I can get through 10 hrs of work, and make someone elses life better. That is how I do it. I focus all my energy on helping others, period. I have always had a genuine love for people, and I guess through my many years of suffering, desire to help others.

Try to get out of yourself, no matter how sick you are. There is always something you can do for someone else. It can be as simple as a kind word.

Sorry for the book. If I can be of help, please don't hesitate to ask. I'd be glad to talk "off line" anytime.

God Bless.

~Rainman~

Last edited by Jack43; 12-20-2009 at 10:17 AM.

 
Old 12-21-2009, 07:41 AM   #4
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Re: I'm depressed, just need someone to talk to

the end, thanks. And yes, sometimes, I feel proud of myself for taking such steps.

Jack43, hey, i read your post. first, I'm sorry for your pain and what you've been through.

Well, I don't think anything can help me, but yes, I've learned a lot reading your post. May be I will try not to be so negative.

And help others? How? I mean, I'm just a student, how do you think I can help other people? May be you could tell me some.

 
Old 12-21-2009, 09:18 AM   #5
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Re: I'm depressed, just need someone to talk to

Quote:
Originally Posted by oopymoss View Post
the end, thanks. And yes, sometimes, I feel proud of myself for taking such steps.

Jack43, hey, i read your post. first, I'm sorry for your pain and what you've been through.

Well, I don't think anything can help me, but yes, I've learned a lot reading your post. May be I will try not to be so negative.

And help others? How? I mean, I'm just a student, how do you think I can help other people? May be you could tell me some.
****************
Hey Oopy,

Good to hear from you, and thank you for your kind words. This is a very tough time for me right now ---- I may need to get back on meds to help, as I am crying most of the day and night ---- uncontrollable at times...rather embrassing, not that there is anything wrong with crying, but I mean I can't control it....My post above stated "putting on game face", well yes, one can do that, but things still take their toll.


You asked, "what can I do, I"m just a student". My friend, the power you have to help others is immesureable. Actually, any age has the potential to reach out and show love. That doesn't mean your pain or negative feelings will go away, but I promise you they will be lessened, and you will feel your self worth. Give it a try. Go up to a fellow student, who you can tell is down and out, and say, sorry to bother you, but this old guy on a message board suggested I reach out to others, and you look like your in pain and could use a friend.

One, it will break the ice, and two your sencerity will shine through. I am stopping by the library to type this, as we have a new one by my office. I was/am struggling to get out of bed today, but you know what? Showing caring and concern for you, has helped me today.

Are you a person of faith? I tread lightly on the subject, so let me know if you'd like to engage. I say this, as it was a big help for me, but bottom line, I had the free will to put things into action, on inaction.

Take care, my new friend.

Jack

 
Old 12-21-2009, 08:06 PM   #6
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Re: I'm depressed, just need someone to talk to

Jack, did you ever take an anti-depressant? I'm taking one already 15 years and it has helped me a great deal.

Last edited by raphs; 12-24-2009 at 06:43 AM. Reason: Please use the Quick Reply button instead of Quote Reply.

 
Old 12-22-2009, 05:04 AM   #7
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Re: I'm depressed, just need someone to talk to

You have taken the first step by reaching out on here and that is good. It is great that you recognize you're having a problem. Please know that all those happy people you see also have problems of their own. No one's life is perfect and everyone has issues of some sort. Some even bigger than yours. Look around a little further and you will see others who are not in a crowd of happy people. Tell your parents you are feeling depressed, or go to a college counselor. Getting involved in a little volunteer work is a great idea. Doing something nice for other people always makes one feel better. They say that general depression that lasts for a few weeks is normal. If it is/has gone on longer than that you should probably see a Doctor. They say there is situational depression which is a result of a situation you are in at the present. I wish there was something more I could do to help you. One other suggestion is to find humorous things everyday that make you laugh. There are tons of funny videos, jokes etc., online. I know it's hard to find something uplifting, but give it a try. There are also many inspirational, spiritual sites and self-help sites that may help. I
My teens often hang around when I put him on and I know they are listening even though they wouldn't admit it. You can search for specific messages on loneliness, anger, etc. You may like it, you may not. I am not a religious fanatic or a church-goer, but I do like some of his messages. Please don't consider suicide as an option. You have alot more of life coming to you and you may be pleasantly surprised and very thankful later on that you "stayed around". Good luck and never give up!

Last edited by Administrator; 01-05-2010 at 10:34 PM. Reason: wrong name

 
Old 12-22-2009, 07:01 PM   #8
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Jack43 HB User
Re: I'm depressed, just need someone to talk to

Quote:
Originally Posted by raphs View Post
Jack, did you ever take an anti-depressive? I'm taking one already 15 years and it has helped me a great deal.
Hi Raphs,

Yes, have taken anti depressants on and off for 20 plus yrs. I have not been on them recently, and realize I may need to do that. I am fighting that for some reason. I will be glad when Christmas is over.

Thanks for writing.

Jack

 
Old 12-23-2009, 03:19 AM   #9
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Re: I'm depressed, just need someone to talk to

Quote:
Originally Posted by oopymoss View Post
Hey! I'm a 19 year old, university student. I'm really depressed. I wasn't like this before. I used to live with my parents, and my sister and brother. I was very happy with them and my friends I had. I had a life, you know. But then my university was about to start so I had to move to the place closest to the uni. Now, I'm totally alone, I have no friends. My lifestlye is f*cked up. All I do all day long is eat, study and stare at the computer screen. Whenever I'm on my way to the uni, I see all this happy people, and think to myself, *** HAS MY LIFE TURNED INTO?

I just need someone to talk to. Someone who knows how I feel, and may be anyone who knows how to help me get out of this miserable life of mine. I would kill myself, but I know that's not the answer to my question.

I know you'd say things like, "think of other people whose lives are even worse than you have." Or something like, "at least you have two hands and two legs, you should be thankful."

Well, I know all that, but still, it doesn't help me.

Please Help Me.
hey.
i just wanted someone to talk to too. but im not sure what to say because i want you to see im not like the other people who say "just be happy" or "smile". i hate when people tell me to smile. im at a loss with words at the moment because im still trying to find a part of me that's human. im not depressed, im not crazy. im somewhere in between all of everything. i have no need for emotions or human companionship. no need for anything and if i could live without food or sleep i would. i have no need for my tastebuds or any of my senses. but im not sad. im not anything. so talk to me because i can now see everything for what it truely is. im not blinded by emotions or a sense of what is right or wrong. im 100% nothing. like an imagionary friend.

 
Old 12-24-2009, 06:44 AM   #10
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Re: I'm depressed, just need someone to talk to

Quote:
Originally Posted by Jack43 View Post
Hi Raphs,

Yes, have taken anti depressants on and off for 20 plus yrs. I have not been on them recently, and realize I may need to do that. I am fighting that for some reason. I will be glad when Christmas is over.

Thanks for writing.

Jack
Jack,
Could you please tell why did you get off your antideppressant? What bothered you?
Raphs

Last edited by raphs; 12-24-2009 at 06:45 AM.

 
Old 12-24-2009, 01:23 PM   #11
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Jack43 HB User
Re: I'm depressed, just need someone to talk to

Hey Raphs....to be perfectivly honest. I am also a chronic pain patient - which necessitates the need for vicoden and ativan for nerves. By the time i add any other physcotrophic drug ---- it' s a huge wallop...and I work in a very fast paced law firm, where i have to be "on", the whole time I'm there.

Not really a good excuse, when every member of my family suffers from this monster. I am taking a few days off next week, so i plan on starting back on celexa, which has helped in the past...and if I can tolerate it..I'll add the addrell, which my doc rx'd a month ago.....

Not much help for others, I know....

Best wishes...

Jack

 
Old 12-27-2009, 04:09 PM   #12
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Re: I'm depressed, just need someone to talk to

Jack, have you tried accupuncture for your cronic pain?

 
Old 12-27-2009, 05:30 PM   #13
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Re: I'm depressed, just need someone to talk to

Hey Raphs!

No, I have not tried acupuncture. Funny you mention it though. My brother in a PHd. phsychologist, who knows a highly recommened doc that specializes in this. I just never followed up. Not that I wdn't consider, I am just in such a funk, I can make it to work --- thats about it. I'll climb out of the abyss. What I have been through the past 5 yrs. has given me "true grit", lol.

How you doing?

~Jack~

 
Old 12-27-2009, 07:18 PM   #14
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Re: I'm depressed, just need someone to talk to

I was skimming the posts when I came across yours. I'm afraid that what you're going through is something that's common for college/university students like us.

I'm a 21 year old student going to Louisiana State University here in the USA. I was VERY close to my parents and siblings and moved 2 hours away to attend college. I went from a small town community with a lot of family members nearby, to a big city with only my best friend as a roommate. I went through a lot (won't go into detail since that will just bore you) and eventually became very depressed. I didn't want to get out of bed, nothing felt like it was worth it anymore, and I just felt like a mess.

I put on a mask and hid what I was feeling from everyone. No one really knew that I was depressed until right before I finally got help. It even destroyed one of my relationships. I withdrew from my friends and became a person I didn't even know, and seriously didn't like.

I tried all I could to get over it. I did yoga and belly dancing in my freshman year, and then quit. I used to be a very active athlete and musician but I lost my will to do all of that. So I bit the bullet last year and called the mental health clinic at my university. I started therapy with a really great woman just a few years older than me. It helped that she could relate to my experiences because she was younger. (It was one of the reasons why the first therapist I met with recommended that I see the other woman.) I didn't need to get on medication. Often, the depression isn't something that needs to be treated with medication (Situational depression like one of the other posters mentioned). Sometimes, however, medication might be needed.

Have you tried talking to a therapist? Does your university provide that service? It really helped me. I felt like I couldn't talk to any of my friends, and the ones I talked to were at a loss at what to do. Just talking to my therapist and following her advice really helped me. I started feeling better after the first few sessions.

I didn't deal with all of my issues because we ran out of time at the end of the semester, but I gained the strength and the knowledge I needed to be able to deal with all the crap that was bombarding me from all sides. I work with students now helping them with their work as part of my degree and helping them has helped me! I withdrew from my "mad at the world" friends and surrounded myself with the friends I could count on, the ones who could make me laugh and would be there for me and allow me to be there for them.


Best of luck to you

@ Jack

I know how feeling reluctant to take yet another medication can be! I was on over 12 medications to control my asthma, allergies, arthritis, and reflux at one time, and didn't want to add an anti-depressant to the mix. I felt like I was walking through a fog and my grades really suffered until I did everything I could to get my reflux, asthma and allergies under control with diet and exercise. I was lucky enough to be able to deal with my depression in other ways though. Good luck finding something that works for you!

~Hawk

 
Old 12-28-2009, 07:37 AM   #15
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Re: I'm depressed, just need someone to talk to

Hi Jack,
I really relate to you and I'm in my 50's and on anti-depressant medicines for years which I think has helped me. I have a relationship with Jesus and I know that has helped me over the years that I have known and been through depression. I know that many men and women in the Bible were meloncholy and had trouble with depression, David, Elijah, Jonah, etc. and so I know that God understands how He made us to be sensitive and introspective but it is tough sometimes and I just want to give up. I know I am feeling sorry for myself and was so glad to be back at work where I feel productive and I don't have to care for my husband who has dementia. He has a caregiver and when I stay home too long I feel like I can't take helping him all day long. I have been this way when I was a young child too so I think the roots are deep and that I am learning to reach out to others and to have good friends to talk to. We cannot isolate ourselves but must find ways to help ourselves too through books, the Bible and other positive sources. I wish you the best and I know that acting happy sometimes makes our emotions come around but last night I just was so down. Everyday can get better but we all need to reach out to those who will love, support and listen to us and love us unconditionally. Best to you and your family.

 
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