I think that I am falling into a dark pit alone and I have no idea what to do but cry and stay in the house all the time.
I have been feeling very sad and alone for a while now about a year and it is not getting better but worse by the day.I can sleep for 12 hours a day with no problem I can sit on the couch all day and watch tv and smoke cigarettes all day and do nothing and I know thats not normal to do that every day all day. On the days I have to go to work I have to pretend that everything is great and put on a happy face. My boss told me that she belives that it is a self esteem issue that I have but I have been reading things on depression and I have all the symtoms of depression but I have no reason to be depressed I have a wonderful husband for the past 13 years and he is beginning to lose his patince with me because he doesn't understand what happened to me and why I am this way,I have a sister who is there for me all the time we are like best friends she also has asked me whats wrong and noticed the dramatic change in me. I have many friends and my parents and lots of other people around me but I always feel sad. This is beginning to effect my realtionships with my husband, family and friends. I have noticed a huge change in my self I use to make sure that when I left the house my hair was done make-up on and dressed to impress all the time no matter where I would go but these day my hair is in the same pulled back bun very little if any make-up and some days I do good to get out of my PJ's. I have also put on about 50 pounds in the last year alone. I'm only 31 and I know that there has to be a reason that I feel this way but I have no idea what it is or why it is happening. I don't talk to anyone about because I am imbarrased to tell them that I might be depressed or what ever this is. I find my self crying for no reason or crying while watching a tv commercial. I hate feeling this way and my whole life is effected by this and I just don't know what to do or even what to call it. I am reaching out to anyone that might have a suggestion or advise and what I should do about this before I lose everything and everyone I love. Please help any advise will be greatfully accepted.
Hi Libra Lady!!! I can relate to you on so many levels. I found, for myself, that depression and self-esteem go hand in hand. I've suffered from depression since I was 17. I, too, am 31. My self-esteem is the worst of anyone I know. I'm single and find meeting people incredibly hard, especially when self-esteem/depression play a role. I, again like you, have many great people around me but feel EMPTY all of the time. All of my friends are married, having kids, or on their way. I spend so many moments by myself. But I can be in a room full of people who love me and feel lost. IT'S THE WORST FEELING. Have you considered seeking therapy? I've figured out that nothing has to happen to bring on depression. There doesn't have to be a tragedy or some serious event. Although, then we could give an excuse. I find many days that I wake up depressed but went to bed fine. My suggestion is to continue relying on those who love you, even though you feel embarrassed. It's wonderful that you seem like you can trust your boss. I also think you should start with your primary doctor. Tell them what you are feeling and hopefully they can guide you. We are not alone in this, as much as it feels that way.
You are experiencing the classic symptoms of depression. It is considered a disease and you need to be seen by your dr. You are not weak or a failure. It is real and there is medication for it. I hope you take the initiative to get well. Godbless
Even though you think your life is perfect, that has nothing to do with howw you feel.
It's not that you ARE physically alone. You're emotionally alone, where you feel trapped inside your mind. Where you can't express yourself. I understand completely(: You can't expect yourself to be happy, you can only be happy if others get you there. If it is self esteem issues one way to solve not appreciating yourself is to take a day BY YOURSELF, and just do whatever you want and be happy. If that means watching a movie nobody but you wants to watch, going shopping for yourself only, and getting your hair done by yourself. Find the joys of being alone and embrase them. It's a hard concept to grasp, but it's effective. Once you are okay with being by yourself, you'll begin to love yourself.
You might also have a lack of motivation, hearing about you wanting to stay home and just watch tv. You're a beautiful young women. You might want to look into getting a hobby. Kick boxing, scrap booking, reading, anything! Become a part of a group, that seems to help alot.
Hope I helped, Maddy(: