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Old 04-10-2010, 09:01 PM   #1
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Speedy6684 HB User
Question Trying to get through it all

I'm 24 years old and I've been severely depressed for a few years. I think I've had some type of depression since I was a teenager but in my junior year of college things got really really bad. I eventually tried to kill myself and obviously/fortunately was unsuccessful with that.

Nowadays I'm in graduate school and just trying to figure out how to manage all of this. I just can't get over the feelings of worthlessness and the feeling that I can't manage my life. What do you do when you fundamentally don't know who you are? I don't have relationships, I've had 1 boyfriend and as soon as things got serious I ran for the hills. My mom is a huge problem. I think she's a narcissist, not completely but mostly. It just feels like my entire life exists to help her out and to look after her. I wish I could tell her how angry she makes me every time she tries to suck me into the web of her life.

I know this is rambling but I'm so confused. I don't know what to feel, what to think or what to do. I have a psychologist and I guess she's nice but when I go see her I freeze up and can't say anything. Instead I just get very cold and standoffish. It's not her because I had a psychiatrist and I was the same way with him. I just don't have anything to talk about when I go there. I don't know why I go through life feeling empty except for my shame and frustration with myself.

 
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Old 04-11-2010, 06:56 PM   #2
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friendsville HB User
Re: Trying to get through it all

Why not do what I did...get a book on improving your self worth.I have had good luck with this,and now feel much better about myself. We all hate ourselves,as we were told by my shrink,a few years back, kiddingly. I imagine. Good luck Bill

Last edited by friendsville; 04-11-2010 at 06:57 PM.

 
Old 06-10-2010, 07:57 AM   #3
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Re: Trying to get through it all

Quote:
Originally Posted by Speedy6684 View Post
I'm 24 years old and I've been severely depressed for a few years. I think I've had some type of depression since I was a teenager but in my junior year of college things got really really bad. I eventually tried to kill myself and obviously/fortunately was unsuccessful with that.

Nowadays I'm in graduate school and just trying to figure out how to manage all of this. I just can't get over the feelings of worthlessness and the feeling that I can't manage my life. What do you do when you fundamentally don't know who you are? I don't have relationships, I've had 1 boyfriend and as soon as things got serious I ran for the hills. My mom is a huge problem. I think she's a narcissist, not completely but mostly. It just feels like my entire life exists to help her out and to look after her. I wish I could tell her how angry she makes me every time she tries to suck me into the web of her life.

I know this is rambling but I'm so confused. I don't know what to feel, what to think or what to do. I have a psychologist and I guess she's nice but when I go see her I freeze up and can't say anything. Instead I just get very cold and standoffish. It's not her because I had a psychiatrist and I was the same way with him. I just don't have anything to talk about when I go there. I don't know why I go through life feeling empty except for my shame and frustration with myself.
I understand how you feel im a 15 year old guy who is goin through the self worth and problems with my family ive been trying to het throught it too and I knwo you feel that right here is the only place to get help... Me and you need to remmeber that it will get better eventually ive been going throught things since I was in 8th grade and now I didnt know what to do.. right now as we speak im going trough ****.. i know how you feel.. we'll gfet throuth it togother... hope this means something

 
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