I am a 21 year old college student and in the last 6 months I have been diagnosed with anxiety. At the beginning of the semester I seemed to have everything under control and I was feeling good, staying on top of my work, being productive. However, I slowly started skipping classes more and more often to the point that I rarely go anymore. I put absolutely everything off until the last possible minute whether it is grocery shopping, cleaning my room, or doing an important project. I constantly feel sick from anxiety..I put things off, then worry myself to the point of feeling physically ill..once I feel this way it usually leads to me becoming more anxious and stressed out. I find that the hardest part of my day is getting out of bed (regardless of the amount of sleep I got the night before)..and once I'm out it takes everything to not curl up in a ball and lay back down. When people ask me what I did that day I usually lie and say I studied or went to class because I'm too embarrassed to tell them it took me 3 hours to get out of bed.
The thing that has me torn is that I have good self-esteem. I like who I am, I have a great family, awesome friends, and an amazing and supportive boyfriend. When I think about my future I don't feel "hopeless" I actually think that I will have a pretty awesome life...but when I think about this "rut" that I seem to have gotten into I do feel pretty hopeless in the sense that I don't know how to get out of it. When I say I lay in bed all day and skip class I think it just sounds like I am a lazy college student. But no matter how much I intend to wake up for a class, have a productive day, or even just get dressed and put on some make-up...I can't seem to do it.
So..does this sound like anxiety, depression, or pure laziness?
Definitely not lazyness because you're not CHOOSING to lay in bed all day.
It doesn't sound like depression to me, though. Feeling hopeless is one of big red flags pointing to depression, which you don't have. I also used to lay in bed all day, but I literally laid there and cried all day.
What you describe doesn't sound normal though, so I would recommend to see some kind of counselor, they'll help you handle whatever is going on. You don't have to be clinically depressed to see a counselor either, I think it's healthy for people to see a counselor every once in a while. College is stressful and stress in itself can cause a lot of physical and emotional symptoms, you could get help with stress management as well. Good luck.
Sorry to hear that your are going through this, but I agree it does sound like depression. Even though you have good self esteem, you may subconscously be depressed or anxious. I know when I was in college a few years ago I could take cousoling provided by the campus on campus for free, most colleges provide it free to students. I would take advantage of that. Talking things out somethings with a consoler can help identify what areas you are subconsciously or consciously struggling with to give you these "ruts" you describe. Hope that helps.
Thanks for the advice..I actually already scheduled an appointment with my counselor on campus but she wasn't able to get me in for a week. She is the one who originally diagnosed me with anxiety. I went to see her last semester when I was feeling really depressed..I thought it was because I was in a really bad cycle of taking adderall (I've also been diagnosed with ADHD) then smoking weed to curve the effects when I wanted to relax or go to sleep. I was seeing her at the beginning of the semester also and she suspected I had anxiety..then stopped seeing her when everything was going well. I was able to quit the adderall and weed really easily (which I still am off of) but unfortunately it seems like that wasn't the problem. Depression runs rampant in my family and after seeing how it has affected family members I just figured it would be easy to recognize in myself. ADHD, anxiety, depression = adderall, xanax, zoloft. I'm so not looking forward to being diagnosed with another disorder that doctors want to fix with a pill :-/
You say that medicine/drugs stopped one problem but not the source of the problem. Just wondering though what was the original problem that made you take it? Also do you remember any specific event that has made you feel like this? Events trigger a state of depression which relates to past experiences and you need to think of such events that put you down so that you can learn to avoid or accept them. Your ADHD is something you need to look into as well, it may not be something you can overcome but at least not get low because of it. Thanks
I don't really understand what you mean. The medicine/drugs didn't stop anything. I was prescribed adderall for ADHD 6 years ago so thats why I took it..it helped me study but I hated how it made me feel and I started feeling like I needed it to function. I started casually smoking weed (maybe because of anxiety) when I was 16 but then started smoking everyday to counter the effects of the adderall that I hated. I fully quit both things without a problem and I was able to study/function fine with out the adderall at the beginning of the year..without the adderall I didn't even think about weed.
No huge events trigger the depression..and I've never lived through anything traumatic..so I really don't know what I would need to avoid or accept...
The only thing that I would say really "triggers" this is that when I have breaks from college I spend time in beautiful, fun, cultured places and I feel happy..then I come back to my college town which is not any of those things and I get down. I have the time of my life then I come back here where I hate my major and geographic location.
So you are telling me that normally life is alright except for times when you come back from a fun adventure. So tell me, what is it that you enjoy the most there that you cannot appreciate normally? It could also be that you like boredem and so now you find yourself in situations where you do nothing and that creates anxiety out of things you need to do? Let me know all. Thanks