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Old 01-20-2001, 03:19 PM   #1
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Join Date: Jan 2001
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allalone HB User
I feel so alone in this world

I feel so alone. Alone even among my family and the people I work with! Five years ago I went through a terrible depression that affected my work and my life. Two friend went through my ups and downs with me. I was almost put in the hospital. Anyway that lasted a long time and it was very hard. Eventually it got better and I moved on to another job and kept in contact with these friends off and on. They are the only two people in my life who I felt understood me. I was doing okay until around Nov/December and then it hit me all over again, very hard. I could barely work, sleep, concentrate, eat, etc. I felt so alone and that nobody wanted me around. All I could do was cry! Anyway I called my friend one day when I was crying and she wanted nothing to do with me and this situation. I have not gotten over this rejection yet. I got a short letter from her maybe 2 weeks later.I feel more alone than ever. She had always told me she would be there but it was not true. How do I get over this? I do not want to go see my doctor again. I have not seen her in 3 years. I am now able to work better but I still feel alone and I do not like this feeling. What do I do?

 
Old 01-20-2001, 05:43 PM   #2
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Join Date: Nov 2000
Location: West Texas
Posts: 110
TrickyDick HB User
Re: I feel so alone in this world

Hey Allalone,
I would guess that your friend has her own problems and is not able to take on any more. But that is not the issue, its your reaction that is the issue. You have reacted normally in this situation. You feel even worse.

You have been down this road before with depression, you know what you need to do. You know that putting it off will only make it worse and recovery take that much longer.

Do what you know you need to and know that we understand and know how hard it is and will be for you. But you have to take the first step. Keep in touch with us, we care.
Peace

 
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Old 01-21-2001, 09:23 AM   #3
 
Join Date: Jan 2001
Location: Cornwall, ON, Canada
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SoLost HB User
Re: I feel so alone in this world

I totally agree with TD. The longer you wait to take care of this the more difficult it will get. You are now, on top of your depression, suffering from the grief of lost friendship. It is so difficult to be depressed and have no one to turn to. I found, when I was in a similar situation in the past, that a support group and a councellor made a world of difference. You can talk to them without worrying about the loss of friendship.

I have friends around me that I don't discuss my depression with. I don't like admitting the weakness...I think. Everyone sees me as such a strong person. Well, I guess that's what I let them see.

If you don't want to see the doc at least find someone to talk to so you don't feel alone. You will find that you get a lot of support from groups like these too.

Take care,
Angie

 
Old 01-21-2001, 10:45 AM   #4
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allalone HB User
Re: I feel so alone in this world

Thanks so much for the replies. I am glad someone understand and knows what it is like. So glad I found this board-it should help alot, I think.

I know I should go see a dr. or a counselor but I guess I thought I can handle it or it will go away. I will think about this some more--maybe I will call soon. I keep hoping my friend will call or send a letter. it will be a month tomorrow since that awful day and phone call. Guess that is over and done with, though. That is hard.

Thanks for understanding.

 
Old 01-22-2001, 12:16 AM   #5
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TrickyDick HB User
Re: I feel so alone in this world

Hey Allalone,

You never can tell about people, but now is the time for you to focus on yourself. Make those appointments and keep them. Concentrate on getting yourself started so you can get well. Life is too short to spend it being miserable and unhappy. Take charge and take responsibility for yourself. No one else can take that responsibility, only you.
Friends that are truly friends will be there, if not..well, get over it and don't look back.
Peace

 
Old 01-22-2001, 03:36 PM   #6
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allalone HB User
Re: I feel so alone in this world

Thanks to all.
I had a fair day at work(better than it has been). Everyone said I looked better. I want to talk to someone to help me get through this but sometimes I am afraid to. Just sharing here has helped alot! One girl at work said she is willing to talk and listen and help. Now I have to decide whether to talk to her, just a little, though, or go to see a counselor or pdoc. Anyway I had some relief just in the last few days from all this hanging over me. I think getting it out has helped-not that that long road ahead has disappeared--I know it is still there. But I don't feel as alone, everday and all of the time like I have been Just wanted to tell you. I like reading everything at this board. Very helpful.

 
Old 01-23-2001, 11:59 AM   #7
 
Join Date: Jan 2001
Location: Cornwall, ON, Canada
Posts: 0
SoLost HB User
Re: I feel so alone in this world

I'd say do all three. Make your appointments because in my experience depression will go away but then it comes back and bites you on the behind when you least expect it! So even if you are feeling better you will have things in place if you start to feel bad again.

As for the friend at work, I'd start things out slowly and build a new friendship. When you are sure you can trust her/him start telling little pieces of your story and go from there. That is, if you are like me, I would just hate all the details of my life to be "going around" at work...if you know what I mean.

Glad to hear that you are feeling better.
Take care,
Angie

 
Old 01-25-2001, 03:47 PM   #8
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Join Date: Jan 2001
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allalone HB User
Re: I feel so alone in this world

TrickyDick,
You said to get over the break in friendship and not look back. Well----the thing is I can't. I try but I think about it all the time and it makes me cry and I can't stop.I keep thinking please, please call me. And then I think how I never should have called her that day and none of this would have happened!! This is making my depression alot worse.

Somebody wants me to talk to a friend of hers who is going to school to be a counselor. Somedays I say I'll go and then somedays not. Sometimes I think all I need to hear is for someone to say that everything will be okay but nobody is there to tell me that!! I get so confused sometimes. I don't know!!!

 
Old 01-25-2001, 04:11 PM   #9
 
Join Date: Jan 2001
Location: Cornwall, ON, Canada
Posts: 0
SoLost HB User
Re: I feel so alone in this world

It is difficult to get over a relationship that has ended. You can't blame yourself for the end of your friendship. For whatever reason your friend isn't able to offer you the support you require. When we loose a loved one through death, break up, or ect... we suffer some devestaing effects. Cry as much as you have to and get it out. You don't want to hold your emotions inside. Maybe you could write your friend a letter and tell her how much you miss her and if there is anything you could do for her to reconsider. That's pretty much all you can do. If she doesn't respond or she refuses then you must try to move on with your life. Try to find something healthy that makes you feel good and do it every single day no matter how horrible you feel, k? You have friends to talk to here whenever you need us.

Take care,
Angie

 
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