I feel as though nobody wants me around, and nobody finds me attractive. I am 17 but I have never had a girlfriend, and i have very few, if any real friends. Nobody seems interested in me. I am very shy and don't talk much anymore. I am afraid of rejection and being made fun of. This is killing my self esteem, and I feel miserable. I believe I am suffering from depression and I don't know how to tell anyone. Everything about my life seems so fake, and I feel hopeless. I am lost and I don't know what to do. please help
You are never alone for God is always with you; and I found that a couple of close friends are a lot better than a ton of "fake" friends.
If you feel you need help that reach out and get some help.
T. Murphy, these word are copied from the old depression board. They were written by a young woman for whom I have the greatest respect, so I am pretty sure that she would want them to be passed on to you: If you feel suicidal this is a big red flag that you need help! Depression does distort our
thinking and it can cause suicidal thoughts, and some poeple act on them That is what makes depression dangerous. If you feel suicidal please call somebody immediately, call emergency (in theUS 911) if you are acutely suicidal.
There are also suicide hotlines, in the US for example 1-800-SUICIDE, but also many local ones, you can look in the phone book or call information.
Also look at the website <A HREF="http://www.metanoia.org/suicide/" TARGET=_blank>http://www.metanoia.org/suicide/</A>
and <A HREF="http://www.1000deaths.com" TARGET=_blank>http://www.1000deaths.com</A>
Especially the metanoia one. Remember that it is not your LIFE you want to end, but you want to end the PAIN, right? What you really need are new coping skills. You have to learn ways to deal with the situation you are in, and I agree that a support system is very important. Just know where to call when you are in a crisis, have some numbers ready.
And also, if you feel suicidal, tell yourself to wait a LEAST a week and then re-evaluate the situation. Things feel so painful sometimes that it is hard to see a way out or a brighter future.
I know what you mean about not having many friends, but is there one you can talk to, or what about your parents. If not will you go to see your doctor, depression can be treated, you are still young, so get something done before it takes hold of you. You will find someone when the time is right, a girl who loves you for the wonderful person that you are. I felt the same when I was your age, and it can be hard because you get people saying,How can you be depressed at 17. Everyone on this board are fantastic, and we are always here, so you have got friends here.
I know what you're talking about. My teen years were a nightmare...sometimes I feel panicky just thinking about them. I'm 33 now, and I've come along way since then. In highschool, I was a loner, insecure, and always felt like I didn't belong. But now that I'm older and have had experiences, I can see that most of my problems stemmed from not liking myself, not accepting who I was, not asserting my true self for fear of rejection, constantly thinking I had nothing to offer, and always thinking other people were better than me. If I could just go back in time with what I know now, I know I would have enjoyed my teen years, like they should be enjoyed.
This is my experience and advice to you...when you're insecure, nervous, and afraid of asserting yourself, other people sense your insecurities, and your vibes of not wanting to make a connection....I used to do this unintentionally, of course, I would give the world a neon sign that I wanted to be left alone, but it was just my fear of rejection, and I was very lonely.
I think people naturally gravitate towards others that know what they want and feel, not someone who can be easily swayed or someone who always tries to hard to fit in. Start asserting yourself, walk around with your head held high, don't be intimidated by what others are doing...you'll find out it was all nonsense anyways, and once you hit your 30's, nobody even remembers all that crap.
I wish I had a chance to do it all over again, because I found out that I am really am somebody special...I always was but I didn't believe it. I wish I didn't waste all that time wishing I had better clothes, a wittier personality, and a shot at being "popular". I spent my entire highschool year wishing I could be in the "in" crowd. Now it just seems like a joke to me, I hardly ever liked any of those stuck up, pretentious people anyways. I've learned that yes, I am different, I never follow the herd and I don't want to...I I get a lot of respect for that now...and so will you.
I know it's much harder for you to assert yourself now, but that's only because you haven't have the life experiences that I have and being your age, you probably have found out who you truly are yet and what you really believe...you're just finding out. Understand you're at a critical age were your leaving your childhood and entering adulthood...it's rough for all of us. Try not to be so hard on yourself, and accept that you will make mistakes (I've made a million!) This serves a very good purpose though...you will learn from them, and this is the road to being an adult.
You're very lucky to have the internet for advice...I wish I had this when I was struggling. I've always found that the best advice is found from people who have already been there and done that. When I was a teen, I thought "older people just don't understand and my situation is unique". But I'll tell you now, they do understand and they really do have words of wisdom. When your my age you'll wish you had listened better, and trusted their judgement. Which reminds of a quote I've always loved.....
"EXPERIENCE COMES FROM POOR JUDGEMENT, GOOD JUDGEMENT COMES FROM EXPERIENCE"
and remember, you're never alone when you reach out and ask others for help...and that's what this board is all about. So keep posting...I will look out for you!!
I wanted to add something else...I may be 33, but my memories of being your age are still very fresh in my mind, and although I am older, I really think I can give you some good advice...so can others here...just listen and learn...you'll do fine.
I wanted to write and say that I can relate to how you are feeling. I am 22 and I still have never had a boyfriend. Not because I don't want one but because my self-esteem and depression have never wanted to let anyone in. When I was 17, maybe 18, I realized I was dying inside. I was always depressed. It was hard but I trusted my Health teacher. She was there for me everyday and referred me to a social worker. Although I now go to a different social worket, it saved my life. It got worse before it got better, and still today sometimes it goes back to being worse. I was diagnosed as having Dysthymia: Mild but chronic depression. I was put on Prozac. It was a lot to swallow that I suffered from depression and had to be put on Prozac. In the beginning, going therapy was really weird. Telling all your thoughts (most of them) and fears to a person who you don't know was extremely strange. But if you go to a good social worker, it becomes easier. They don't judge you but help you be realistic.
Try not to be down on yourself. It is the best thing for yourself to realize you need help. Don't be ashamed of it either. You should be proud of yourself that you are admitting it to yourself.
If you feel you need outside help, there are many who can help. Do it for yourself! Hang in there!
Sometimes when times seem darkest, you often see things more clearly.
Each day is a day of life, not a day of death; It's so hard for so many people to realize how imporatant life is for they don't realize how precious it is before it's too late.
Not long ago I was on my death bed from a suicide attempt-I was on life support for 2 1/2 months. After an exeperience like that you know that things need to change. I can only pray that all of you will see this before it's too late or you have to experience what I went through.