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Old 12-30-2000, 09:54 PM   #1
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Join Date: Dec 2000
Location: schenectady ny usa
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GlittRBabY00 HB User
so worried for this child!

Hi
I have a serious concern i need to talk about. I am 16 years old and i live with my mother. I have a very unhealthy relationship with my father. he sexually abused me when i was 5 and he is an alcoholic and very abusive towards me mentally.He was cheating on my mother with some woman and he married her and they were married for about 4 years he recently cheated on her with a new woman she has 5 children and she is a great woman but sadly my father broke her marriage with her childrens father. my main concern is my father recently got this girl pregnant and i am going to have a sibling ( i have no siblings and i have always wanted one) already i am very protective of this child i am worried that since my father abused me and he also did the same to his sister when she was young i am afraid he will do the same to one of this womans children (ages ranging from 2-150)or even the baby i am so scared. he lives about 2 hours from me and i will never be able to protect this baby what can i do he is a horrible father to me and i dont want him to put his girlfriend or the baby through that WHAT CAN I DO
please help me

 
Old 12-30-2000, 10:07 PM   #2
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Join Date: Nov 2000
Location: Iowa
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kyle4267 HB User
Re: so worried for this child!

Get ahold of a social worker right away. Even get the police involved. I know he is you father but you can't let this go on. you must stop it now. Talk to human services right away. They at least can send you in the right direction. Please do this for you and your new sister. May god be with you.
as ever
Kyle

 
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Old 12-30-2000, 10:13 PM   #3
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Join Date: Dec 2000
Location: schenectady ny usa
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GlittRBabY00 HB User
Re: so worried for this child!

i have talked to ma y people about this inc therapists and they keep saying the same thing "your father got himself into this its not our proiblem"' but this is a baby ab innocent babywho can fend for him/herself he did these things a long time a go but i dunno if he has changed or not i am so confused...

 
Old 12-30-2000, 10:44 PM   #4
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Catriona HB User
Re: so worried for this child!

There is no excuse for what your father did to you and his sister. There is no reason why social services would/should ot follow up on your claim...by law they have to. If your father is still doing this, he needs to be put away, whether you love him or not, you need to do something about it. If he has changed, it doesnt matter, you dont know that and you need to get someone to find out. Even if he has changed, he should not be able to get away with what he did to you and his sister. Please get hold of some sort of social worker and/or police. A therapist cannot do much about it, they are bound by certain laws.

Good luck and keep in touch
Catriona

 
Old 12-30-2000, 10:45 PM   #5
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Join Date: Nov 2000
Location: West Texas
Posts: 114
TrickyDick HB User
Re: so worried for this child!

You are confused. There are several things you can do. They all involve you setting down and talking to adults and telling them your worrys and concerns.
There is nothing anyone can do if there is not just cause. But..If you feel like you should bring this fear to someones attention you should do so. There are Child protective services in every city of every state. These people are there to assure that children are not abused and are cared for. They are very over extended and over worked people. But, they will see and talk to you. It may be difficult to get an appointment to see them.
Be aware that they will not automaticly believe you. You must try and relate to them the facts as you know them. You are very young to have these worries. It might be helpful if you could talk to a priest or someone in your local church community. They could prehaps steer you in the right direction or help you contact the right people. Hang in there, young lady, its good to worry about the things you might change, but remember to try to not worry about the things that you can't.

 
Old 12-31-2000, 03:00 PM   #6
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GlittRBabY00 HB User
Re: so worried for this child!

i feel like i shouldnt be going behind my aunts and my familys back with this i just dont know what to domy aunt has gotten past the whole thng and she is very successful right now and i am very close to her i dont want her to hate me plus at this time my family hates me enough as it is i cant stand it anymore if they disliked me more!!!
i dunno!

 
Old 01-01-2001, 08:02 PM   #7
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Join Date: Dec 2000
Location: new zealand
Posts: 570
CINDERELLA HB User
Re: so worried for this child!

Cant you discuss your worries with your Aunt or your mother? Surely they must feel the same as you. Does your fathers girlfriend know his past history?

 
Old 01-02-2001, 09:38 PM   #8
 
Join Date: Jan 2001
Location: grafton,nsw,australia
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metania HB User
Re: so worried for this child!

glittrbabyoo firstly you should be so proud of yourself that you know right from wrong as many people would rather ignore sexual abuse and pretend that its not happening in our families it takes great strength to speak out for ourselves and now your faced with to speackout for the protection of another child or maybe children. I have learnt on thing from my experience in life and that is perpurtraters being the abuser never stop molesting as they cannot garantee they will not molest tommorrow next year or today they molest 1 to 100 children in a life time. I was wiped from my family for speacking out only it was to late as my two young daughters were already being molested by the time i had my first recollections of my abuse so now we have three survivers if only i could of spoke out earlier i could of saved my children having to live through life surviving the affects of the abuse but i am so proud i broke the cycle and i hold my head up high as i speak out and make others with children aware of the person as i am bringing awareness to the problem person not like my mother and grandmother to this day that say forget it and stop causing trouble i will not be like them i choose to not live with the guilt of knowing the truth and saying nothing you have many decisions ahead of you for a young person but if you listen to your gut feeling it will tell you what to do,better to yell out loud than suffer in silence forever and watch the devestating affect of the abuse coming out in those you love always be proud of who you are and do what makes you proud of your self ive lived a very lonly life having no family to turn to BUT i dont want a family that lets sexual abuse go over their heads i hope you work this out was your father charged with your abuse? have you had councelling to help you recover and work through things maybe now would be a good time to get some help for yourself and disscuss these issues your to young to be carrying it all by yourself just think he will more than likely molest to the day he dies email me if you want i worry about you do you go to school?

 
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