I have been treated on and off for depression for about 10 years. Sometimes I can go for months being ok, then it feels as though I have hit a wall. I felt very unhappy but never said that I was depressed. I had annorexia and thought that I couldn't have children. Well I now have a 22 month old son, I should of been happy, and I do love him, but I was still so unhappy, i thought a baby would make me complete. I know that I am suffereing from depression. I am good at hiding things, and I always blamed it on other things. It's still ahard thing to admit to. But I saw my doc last week, and am being referred to a shrink. So hopefully that will help. Still convinced that there is going to be a root problem to all of this, and that when I know what it is I will be cured.
Hope you have a merry christmas. <IMG SRC="http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/wink.gif">
In 1995, I was dragged by a lady friend to see a State Head Doc (she had made the apt. without my knowledge or approval). I talked to this guy about an hour and he had me take some stuff home and fill it out and bring it back to him the next day. Two days later he called and said to come in again. I did and he told me that I was Clinically Depressed. I said ok, whats that mean?? I am still trying to figure it out to this day. IF I had to pay for any of this, I would not. But I don't, So I keep going and keep taking meds and try and keep my life together. My goal is not to hurt myself or others. Anything over and above that is gravy !!
I am now 20. I know it may sound wrong to some, but my earliest memories of depression are when I was 14. From then until I was 17, I wanted nothing more than to die. When I was 18 I tried to kill myself. The thing that made a difference in my life was falling inlove. Before I met this person, I didn't think I even knew what it was like to love someone. I know it sounds nasty, but I dont think I love my family. I wasnt nice, I wasn't nasty but I definately wasn't nice. I hated everything and everyone. I was not a people person and I wanted everyone to leave me alone so I could call up into a ball in the dark and just disappear. I still get quite bad, but I am not permanently depressed anymore. This person was the light at the end of my tunnel so to speak, he gave me reason to keep going and to fight.
Sorry...rambling...to answer your question, 6 years
those are two books about a woman who thought she is autistic and if you dont like to be around society maybe you haveit or agoraphobia . aspergers.com talks about it toowhich is a milder form .maybe you dont have it catriona and maybe you do ?