I made an appointment just now to see my family doc about my depression or whatever it is that is wrong with me. I have several medical problems and they are as follows- Scleroderma, Chronic Pancreatitis, Severe Raynauds in my hands,toes,ears ect.and last but not least Fructose intolerance. I am only 36 years old and I'm on disability. I was a farmer by trade. I am divorced and live with my girlfriend and I have 4 young children. I am currently taking methadone for my pain and my pain doc put me on remeron 2 months ago at 15mg. a day. I am so depressed I don't want to go anywhere or talk to anyone. I can't explain to you how horrible I feel emotionally. I'm a grown man and I could almost cry for no reason. My biggest problem is dealing with the thought of me being on disability. It's embarrasing and I hide from people I know so I won't have to talk to them because I'm afraid they will ask me where I've been working. I'm ashamed of myself and can't help feeling this way. I need to do something about all of this bad. I can't take it anymore. I don't know what to tell my doc this afternoon when I see him. I don't think the remeron is working for me. I have tried paxil in the past and it didn't do anything for me either. I need something to pick my spirit up or something to give me a feeling of well being. I need the feeling of well being the most. I have used marajuana in the past but I don't want to do something illegal. I don't think that would work anyway and I'm will not use that as an option. Can anyone of you suggest a med that will work for me? I know alot of you have tried them all and it doesn't sound like there is much hope for me finding the wonder drug. I can tell you all one thing. Just think about the people in the old days when there was no meds for this or anything else for that matter. Or people in poor countries who don't have these options. I keep telling myself that but as you all know it still doesn't do any good. Thank you all who have read my story and a reply would be greatly apreciated.
Well now....sounds like you got the short end of the stick alright.
The problems you have, except for the depression, I can't help you with or such mainly because I don't even know what they are.
But...the depression I can talk about and specificly I can talk about the shame and empty feeling left when you can't do the work that you want to and feel you should do.
That is a major cause of depression in men.
The way they tell it, men are what they do, in other words if they don't do anything or feel that they are doing right they feel like they don't amount to nothing. That they are nothing and have shame, guilt and depression. Guess WHAT !!! They are 100 percent CORRECT. How do I know that, you ask with a skeptical expession?
Because after working every day 10 to 12 hours every day including most weekends for over 30 years I had a number of things happen
to me that prevented me from working. They
all happened in the space of 6 months. I have not worked a lick since then. That was in the year of 1994...
Yes, I got depressed, very...like I did'nt even care if I got dressed or ate anything.
I would have most likly died or killed myself if it had not been for my kids.
So..yea I understand. I also understand that
your not taking anywhere enough Remeron to do you any good. You need to be taking 60 to 70mg daily for about 8 months at least.
Thats what it took me before my doc would cut it back to 30mg. Don't take it untill about 30 min before you got to bed.
Good luck and consider going back to school if you can (I don't know your physical condtiton) There are federal programs that help pay for re-education if you can't work your primary vocation for good reasons.
before this phoney civilization came they probably did usa marijuana and peyote and other stuff. if you get the wrong mushroom though it can destroy kidneys. in washington state there is medical marijuana , butits not for depression i dont think. tell your doctor what you told here , or print it and mail it to him or type print something even longer.maybe you can get a home job part time.get computer books . at libary maybe - aubrey pilgrim books , its easy to repair stuff<p>[This message has been edited by clouds (edited 12-06-2000).]