It appears you have not yet Signed Up with our community. To Sign Up for free, please click here....



Depression Message Board
Post New Thread   Closed Thread
LinkBack Thread Tools
Old 01-13-2001, 08:02 PM   #1
Inactive
 
Join Date: Nov 2000
Location: Addison, Texas, USA
Posts: 1
K.Bailey HB User
Deepening depression

Unfortunately , I posted about 4 paragraphs over on the mental health board talking about my depression. My mistake. I will try here.
I know I have been failing these past several weeks. Yes, life has gotten worse, but never was very good so how do you compare them? According to my therapist, I have tried just about every anti-depressant med out there. I recently tried Zyprexa, but had side effects. I was on Lithobid and Risperdal, but later became really tired of the side effects. I am now on Depakote just starting on 500 mgs a night now. 1 week down who knows how many to go.

I feel worse than I used to. Seems like my head hurts but I don't have a headache. It's really kind of scary because you never think it will ever end, and after being depressed for about 17-18 years why should I expect something differently? Hope? What hope? Where is it? Is there hope? 17-18 years and getting worse? Why should I have hope? I am not suicidal. Too much fear.

I am in the process of taking a leave of absence. Going to work has really become a big drag here lately. I feel angry at people, like they might even dislike me. I feel that many people don't even care about you. At least some don't I'll say that. It's hard to tell who dislikes you and who hate s you. I'm too sensitive and it can get me down with very negative thoughts. Wish I could just snap out of it like a trance. NOPE! Not me. Not anyone I'm afraid.

Thanks for reading this. I would like to know how some of you responded after a worsening depression or did you? My life feels stuck at about a 2 on a scale of 1-10. I also make more mistakes typing than I used to. I think I have caught most of them. Take care all. K.Bailey

 
Sponsors Lightbulb
   
Old 01-13-2001, 08:34 PM   #2
joy joy is offline
Inactive
 
Join Date: Nov 2000
Posts: 140
joy HB User
Re: Deepening depression

Hi. You have been on EVERY antidepressant out there? Are you under a good psychiatrist's care. A therapist may not do it for you. There has to be an answer for you out there. Did you try Effexor XR? I read so many people say it helped them when all else failed. I don't know about it, but I do that often. Please see a good pdoc asap. Good luck.
Joy

 
Old 01-14-2001, 09:48 AM   #3
Inactive
 
Join Date: Nov 2000
Location: Addison, Texas, USA
Posts: 1
K.Bailey HB User
Re: Deepening depression

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by joy:
<B>Hi. You have been on EVERY antidepressant out there? Are you under a good psychiatrist's care. A therapist may not do it for you. There has to be an answer for you out there. Did you try Effexor XR? I read so many people say it helped them when all else failed. I don't know about it, but I do that often. Please see a good pdoc asap. Good luck.
Joy</B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE>joy, yes I have tried Effexor XR but it was too irritatating/side effects. Technically I would say we have not tried everything.I gave her a list of everything I have tried. I think we are trying a different path this time, but to no avail as of yet. My doctor is an M.D. here in the Dallas area. I do hope she can help me. Thanks for writting. K.Bailey

 
Old 01-14-2001, 09:51 AM   #4
Newbie
 
Join Date: Jan 2001
Location: Flint Tx Usa
Posts: 4
bubblesue HB User
Re: Deepening depression

Hello. I understand what you mean by deepening depression. If you don't mind if I ask, are seeing a therapist or phsychiatrist, or phsychologist. They are all different. I too had tried all the different meds. That is why I am on Topamax and Effexor ER. Topamax is a med prescibed for people with seizures and is still in the trials stages for a mood stabilizer. They are trying it on those diagnosed with BiPolar/Manic Depression who do not respond to regular mood stabilizers like those you have mentioned in addition to zoloft and paxil and lithium and a few others. I have been on it since Nov. 17th. I have been started out slow and my side affects have been minimal. So far so good. You may need to change doctors or therapists. Group therapy also did wonders for me also. Have you looked into that. It also takes time. But it can be beneficial too. It does give a little light in that dark tunnel. It will be a dim light at first, but if you stick with it, it will help and will get brighter.

Good luck and my prayers are with. I have been there and once in a while I too revisit.

 
Old 01-14-2001, 04:55 PM   #5
 
Join Date: Jan 2001
Location: Cornwall, ON, Canada
Posts: 0
SoLost HB User
Re: Deepening depression

I can definately know where you are coming from with the deepening depression. I am now in the worst depression I have ever expereinced to date; I'm only 25 so perhaps the worst hasn't come yet. I've tried Effexor, Celexa, and Luvox in the passed few months. Effexor made me horribly ill, Celexa made me paranoid, and Luvox made me unable to function.

Just as you have, I decided to take a leave from work until I get myself together. Instead of wasting the little bit of energy I have on work I'm going to save it for my family.

I have changed docs and am going to try a new med. I am also planning to start exercising as I have heard that it helps with depression. In addition, I'm going to cut my caffine and try to eat better.

Don't lose hope. Just keep on living the best that you can... :0)

 
Old 01-14-2001, 05:13 PM   #6
Inactive
 
Join Date: Nov 2000
Location: Addison, Texas, USA
Posts: 1
K.Bailey HB User
Re: Deepening depression

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by bubblesue:
<B>Hello. I understand what you mean by deepening depression. If you don't mind if I ask, are seeing a therapist or phsychiatrist, or phsychologist. They are all different. I too had tried all the different meds. That is why I am on Topamax and Effexor ER. Topamax is a med prescibed for people with seizures and is still in the trials stages for a mood stabilizer. They are trying it on those diagnosed with BiPolar/Manic Depression who do not respond to regular mood stabilizers like those you have mentioned in addition to zoloft and paxil and lithium and a few others. I have been on it since Nov. 17th. I have been started out slow and my side affects have been minimal. So far so good. You may need to change doctors or therapists. Group therapy also did wonders for me also. Have you looked into that. It also takes time. But it can be beneficial too. It does give a little light in that dark tunnel. It will be a dim light at first, but if you stick with it, it will help and will get brighter.

Good luck and my prayers are with. I have been there and once in a while I too revisit.

</B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE>bubblesue, I am seeing a Psychiatrist. I'm glad things are working out better for you than myself. As for group therapy, I wished I'd felt like it. I am also a social phobic and would not function well in a group. I have not tried Topamax yet. Sometimes I don't understand why A doctor prescribes things for bi-polar disorders or schizophrenia when a patient doesn't exhibit any symptoms of either. Although I know it is true they do this as another means of treating depression. Glad the're the doctors and not myself. Right now I just want to feel better, maybe other things will kick in as I improve(IF).Thanks for writting, I really do appreciate it. Perhaps I should pray. K.Bailey

 
Old 01-17-2001, 12:46 AM   #7
 
Join Date: Jan 2001
Location: Houston, Texas, USA
Posts: 0
Julieanne HB User
Re: Deepening depression

Boy am I glad to hear other people have taken leave of absence for emotional problems! I felt like I was in a pressure cooker & just left work at noon 11/13/2000, after working there for 14 yrs. I work for the Gov't and have been on Leave since then. I am so embarrassed!

Things just got gradually worse over the last 4 yrs, especialy at work. I'd been taking Nardil for 15 yrs and did fine, but because of work stress I tried 3 SSRI's and they made me sick as a dog. Went back to Nardil. I may try Wellbutrin next. I hated my job-it made me sick and I'm not going back. My self-confidence had taken a dive and I was too scared to look for another job. I'm about to apply for disability (temporary)-embarrassing.

If you do take leave of absence you might plan what you are going to do. The Psychiatrist just told me to relax. I go to a therapist weekly but am getting kind of bored. I just couldn't face working in that place for the next 15 yrs! I need to figure out what to do next, but change is hard.

 
Old 01-17-2001, 02:09 AM   #8
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2000
Location: West Texas
Posts: 110
TrickyDick HB User
Re: Deepening depression

Hi Ladies,
Not to say I am glad you all are having problems, but to say I am glad to see you all here. We are trying to be a place where people can come and shed some of their fears, worries, pain and anger. To be a place of support and to encourage people to communicate with each other and themselves about their sickness and problems. I hope that we can be of assistance to each other.
Peace.

 
Old 01-17-2001, 08:38 AM   #9
 
Join Date: Jan 2001
Location: Cornwall, ON, Canada
Posts: 0
SoLost HB User
Re: Deepening depression

I have to apply for my temporary disability too. It is embarrasing but so necessary. I'm going to use my time to heal, to rest, and to get help. I may not go back to my job either as it drives me "nuts" just being there. I am contiplating finding a new job, one that isn't so demanding. All though it is difficult to leave a job that has benefits as good as mine are as I need the $ for services for myself and my daughter.

When I can get out of bed...and the house for that matter I want to exercise as I have read that this helps depression as well as self-esteem.

I'm treating my depression as an illness...like something that is out of my control (which most of the time it is) Even in this day and age people still see depression as something you can just snap out of. Well, you can't and don't we all know that better than anyone.... ;0)

 
Old 01-17-2001, 10:19 AM   #10
Junior Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2000
Location: Austin, Texas
Posts: 22
Princess HB User
Re: Deepening depression

I have suffered depression on and off my whole life and was diagnosed a year ago as being Bipolar II. (for those unfamiliar with Bipolar II, it is a form of Bipolar where cycling occurs, but the manic episodes are far less pronounced than with regular Bipolar) I saw a psychiatrist and was put on Lamictal. (which is, like Topamax, an anti-convulsant) The Lamictal worked, but it was too expensive to go to the psychiatrist every month to get the prescription refilled. If I had been getting cognitive therapy as well I wouldn't have minded.

I got off the meds in April and did fine for a few months (Summer and Spring have typically been good times of the year for me) but in September things started to slide and by Thanksgiving I was in the throes of a full blown depression. I saw my GP and was put on valium for anxiety and serzone for depression. I was careless when taking my serzone and eventually quit taking it all together right around Christmas.

Needless to say, I am now more depressed than I've ever been in my life, but I started seeing a psychologist this week and she has encouraged me to go back to my psychiatrist to get back on the Lamictal and the two of them are planning to work together.

I can so much relate to you guys that are taking or planning to take leaves of absenses because I almost went that route a week ago. I was encouraged from all angles though, to try my best to stick with my routine and must say that once I got back into my daily routine it has gotten a bit easier. I am fortunate that my work situation is a good one and I do not experience much stress at all in the workplace, but when depression rears it's ugly head, it's just as hard to get out of bed every morning. Just remember that, while change can be good, (i.e. getting out of a bad situation) you must do something because laying aroubd the house all day will only serve to make your depression worse. I am speaking from experience on that one. Five years ago during a bad period of depression, I quit my job and stayed home for three weeks. My condition worsened to the point where I was almost suicidal and then a miraculous thing happened--I got another job. I was only half-heartedly looking for work when someone offered me a job and I had to take it because I had bills to pay. Having a reason to get out of bed made a world of difference.

Please, please, please don't think I'm downing any of you or telling you what to do, I'm simply telling you of my own experiences and asking that you consider my point of view in case it might help you. I'm right there with you guys as far as being down and depressed and while I hope I'm on the road to recovery, I may not be and my depression may get worse before it gets better, but as my Dad always says, "You've felt good before and even though it seems impossible now, you will feel good again". I'm claiming that statement as my mantra and repeating to myself constantly throughout the day, sometimes it's the only way I can make it. Good luck to all of you and you are all in my prayers.

 
Old 01-17-2001, 05:58 PM   #11
Inactive
 
Join Date: Nov 2000
Location: Addison, Texas, USA
Posts: 1
K.Bailey HB User
Re: Deepening depression

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by TrickyDick:
<B>Hi Ladies,
Not to say I am glad you all are having problems, but to say I am glad to see you all here. We are trying to be a place where people can come and shed some of their fears, worries, pain and anger. To be a place of support and to encourage people to communicate with each other and themselves about their sickness and problems. I hope that we can be of assistance to each other.
Peace.</B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE>TrickDick, I knew I should have kept my other handle. It must be deceiving to see my handle spelled like that. My name is Kevin Bailey. I should have kept Kevin B. In fact I will try to change it to something else soon. God luck to you. Kevin Bailey

 
Old 01-17-2001, 06:09 PM   #12
Inactive
 
Join Date: Nov 2000
Location: Addison, Texas, USA
Posts: 1
K.Bailey HB User
Re: Deepening depression

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by SoLost:
<B>I can definately know where you are coming from with the deepening depression. I am now in the worst depression I have ever expereinced to date; I'm only 25 so perhaps the worst hasn't come yet. I've tried Effexor, Celexa, and Luvox in the passed few months. Effexor made me horribly ill, Celexa made me paranoid, and Luvox made me unable to function.

Just as you have, I decided to take a leave from work until I get myself together. Instead of wasting the little bit of energy I have on work I'm going to save it for my family.

I have changed docs and am going to try a new med. I am also planning to start exercising as I have heard that it helps with depression. In addition, I'm going to cut my caffine and try to eat better.

Don't lose hope. Just keep on living the best that you can... :0)</B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE>So lost , don't be embarrassed my filing for temporary disability. Thousands of people do it every week. I know you will find what to do to help you with yourself and your daughter. Is any of your family helping? God bless you and if you need someone to talk to, you can firstly pray and then come here. Keep in touch SoLost. Kevin Bailey

 
Old 01-17-2001, 06:30 PM   #13
Inactive
 
Join Date: Nov 2000
Location: Addison, Texas, USA
Posts: 1
K.Bailey HB User
Re: Deepening depression

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Princess:
<B>I have suffered depression on and off my whole life and was diagnosed a year ago as being Bipolar II. (for those unfamiliar with Bipolar II, it is a form of Bipolar where cycling occurs, but the manic episodes are far less pronounced than with regular Bipolar) I saw a psychiatrist and was put on Lamictal. (which is, like Topamax, an anti-convulsant) The Lamictal worked, but it was too expensive to go to the psychiatrist every month to get the prescription refilled. If I had been getting cognitive therapy as well I wouldn't have minded.

I got off the meds in April and did fine for a few months (Summer and Spring have typically been good times of the year for me) but in September things started to slide and by Thanksgiving I was in the throes of a full blown depression. I saw my GP and was put on valium for anxiety and serzone for depression. I was careless when taking my serzone and eventually quit taking it all together right around Christmas.

Needless to say, I am now more depressed than I've ever been in my life, but I started seeing a psychologist this week and she has encouraged me to go back to my psychiatrist to get back on the Lamictal and the two of them are planning to work together.

I can so much relate to you guys that are taking or planning to take leaves of absenses because I almost went that route a week ago. I was encouraged from all angles though, to try my best to stick with my routine and must say that once I got back into my daily routine it has gotten a bit easier. I am fortunate that my work situation is a good one and I do not experience much stress at all in the workplace, but when depression rears it's ugly head, it's just as hard to get out of bed every morning. Just remember that, while change can be good, (i.e. getting out of a bad situation) you must do something because laying aroubd the house all day will only serve to make your depression worse. I am speaking from experience on that one. Five years ago during a bad period of depression, I quit my job and stayed home for three weeks. My condition worsened to the point where I was almost suicidal and then a miraculous thing happened--I got another job. I was only half-heartedly looking for work when someone offered me a job and I had to take it because I had bills to pay. Having a reason to get out of bed made a world of difference.

Please, please, please don't think I'm downing any of you or telling you what to do, I'm simply telling you of my own experiences and asking that you consider my point of view in case it might help you. I'm right there with you guys as far as being down and depressed and while I hope I'm on the road to recovery, I may not be and my depression may get worse before it gets better, but as my Dad always says, "You've felt good before and even though it seems impossible now, you will feel good again". I'm claiming that statement as my mantra and repeating to myself constantly throughout the day, sometimes it's the only way I can make it. Good luck to all of you and you are all in my prayers.

</B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE>Princess, hope you are doing fairly well tonight. You are a fairly long winded person. That's fine. I'm not but wanted to post back to you anyway. I have been depressed for about 18 yrs myself. Only 1 med worked in that time-ZOLOFT! Worked for only 5 years but it made a big difference. Can't take now, gives stomach ulcers. I have also tried about another 16-17 other meds. Most have given side effects. Others have done nothing. I also took Serzone, but had some kind of side effect-don't remember.

Having some reason or reason's to keep going can make all the difference. I hope your new job works out well for you. I will try to remember what you said, your mantra about what your Dad said to you to help give you encouragement. Pray to God, he can really help. Believe. Take care. Kevin Bailey

 
Closed Thread

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Board Replies Last Post
debate about depression scaredkid Depression 7 07-19-2010 01:41 PM
Post-Partum Depression emma1car Depression 11 01-25-2008 02:01 PM
Help in Getting Employers to Cover Depression Treatments claudeintexas Bipolar Disorder 1 08-17-2004 09:28 PM
Help to get employers to cover depression treatments claudeintexas Depression 0 08-17-2004 04:00 PM
GAD and Depression Tanki Panic Disorders 2 05-18-2004 10:28 AM




Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is Off
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off




Sign Up Today!

Ask our community of thousands of members your health questions, and learn from others experiences. Join the conversation!

I want my free account

All times are GMT -7. The time now is 07:31 AM.



Site owned and operated by HealthBoards.com™
Terms of Use © 1998-2014 HealthBoards.com™ All rights reserved.
Do not copy or redistribute in any form!