Because I care about all of you - some advice...
I didn't write this and it's not about me. Someone sent this as an e-mail and I wanted to share it with all of you.
I live everyday wishing that I had danced with my father at a party we were at the same day he had his heartattack. I miss him!
My brother-in-law opened the bottom drawer of my sister's bureau
and lifted out a tissue-wrapped package. "This," he said, "is not a
slip. This is lingerie." He discarded the tissue and handed me the
slip. It was exquisite; silk, handmade and trimmed with a cobweb of
lace. The price tag with an astronomical figure on it was still
attached. "Jan bought this the first time we went to New York, at
least 8 or 9 years ago. She never wore it. She was saving it for a
special occasion. Well, I guess this is the occasion." He took
the slip from me and put it on the bed with the other clothes we were
taking to the mortician. His hands lingered on the soft material
for a moment, then he slammed the drawer shut and turned to me.
"Don't ever save anything for a special occasion. Every day you're
alive is a special occasion."
I remembered those words through the funeral and the days that
followed when I helped him and my niece attend to all the sad chores
that follow an unexpected death. I thought about them on the plane
returning to California from the Midwestern town where my sister's
I thought about all the things that she hadn't seen or heard or done.
I thought about the things that she had done without realizing that they
I'm still thinking about his words, and they've changed my life.
I'm reading more and dusting less. I'm sitting on the deck and
admiring the view without fussing about the weeds in the garden. I'm
spending more time with my family and friends and less time in
committee meetings. Whenever possible, life should be a pattern
of experience to savor, not endure. I'm trying to recognize these
moments now and cherish them. I'm not "saving" anything; we use our
good china and crystal for every special event-such as losing a
pound, getting the sink unstopped, the first camellia blossom. I wear
my good blazer to the market if I like it. My theory is if I look
prosperous, I can shell out $28.49 for one small bag of groceries
I'm not saving my good perfume for special parties; clerks in hardware
stores and tellers in banks have noses that function as well as my
party-going friends. "Someday" and "one of these days" are losing
their grip on my vocabulary. If it's worth seeing or hearing or doing, I want to see and hear and do it now.
I'm not sure what my sister would've done had she known that she
wouldn't be here for the tomorrow we all take for granted. I think
she would have called family members and a few close friends. She
might have called a few former friends to apologize and mend fences
for past squabbles. I like to think she would have gone out for a
Chinese dinner, her favorite food. I'm guessing I'll never know.
It's those little things left undone that would make me angry if I
knew that my hours were limited. Angry because I put off seeing
good friends whom I was going to get in touch with - someday. Angry
because I hadn't written certain letters that I intended to write -
one of these days. Angry and sorry that I didn't tell my husband
often enough how much I truly love him.
I'm trying very hard not to put off, hold back, or save anything
that would add laughter and luster to our lives. And every morning
when I open my eyes, I tell myself that it is special. Every day,
every minute, every breath truly is a gift from God.
You've got to dance like nobody's watching, and love like it's never going to hurt.... People say true friends must always hold hands, but true friends don't need to hold hands because they know the other hand
will always be there.