I had a few days whem I felt really good, well I was coping put it that way. But my lovely 23 month old son, had discovered how to climb out of his cot and wont go to bed and gets up inthe night. So the lack of sleep is really getting to me. Before I'd go to bed at 9.15pm because I'd wake up alot during the night and couldn't get back to sleep. Now it's worse. I'd get him to bed at 6pm and then I would usually sit there crying about feeling so bad. Now it's all buiding up inside and I am getting angry at him. I'd never hurt him but I snap and shout and I hate myself for doing it.
Still waiting for my appointment with the shrink. UK NHS is not so good.
Sorry for moaning on, I guess I just needed to get it off my chest.
Took my son to a toddlers' group today, for the first time. It was horrible. I hated being out and facing all these people that I didn't know. But It was for his benefit, he needs to be around kids. So I did do one good thing this week. Now I feel like nothing on earth. I hate this damned depression.
I'm sorry but when I read about your young'en getting up and making a "crib break" during the night I laughed. My daughter discovered how to do that at about that age and we had a devil of a time with it for awhile. I even considered putting the crib in a big wire cage. We tried keeping her up late and not letting her nap as much during the day and other things I can't remember. Kids can be a trial sometimes.
Anyway, I am sorry I laughed and that you had a tough week. Did you ever get you a good mulit-mineral and vit? Are you trying to eat a little better and take a little better care of yourself?
I hope you can get to see your doc soon. Just a suggestion, make a list of questions and other notes about how you feel and take it in with you when you finally get to see your doc. Give it to him. As you talk it will help him and you make the most out of your visit. Let him keep the list if he wants.
I hope your hubby is taking you more seriously now. If not, well, its hard to change anyone's mind and feelings sometimes but prehaps he will come around.
Anyway, please keep us up on how your doing and drop by and keep up on the board when you can.
Here is a page I found that may be helpful to you. I hope so. <A HREF="http://www.nncc.org/Series/good.time.toddler.html" TARGET=_blank>http://www.nncc.org/Series/good.time.toddler.html</A>
Well at least I made you laugh. I considered putting a lid on his cot, but decided that probably wasn't a good idea. My wonderful Mom has taken the little darling to her's today, staying tonight, and tomorrow. So an early night and some sleep for me, just have to train the cats to keep quiet. And then tomorrow hubby is taking me to London for the day. Which at least means that I'll get a proper meal there.
I don't try to tell hime anymore about being depressed, to him it's,"well you were happy last week, just do that all the time" If it was only that easy!! Eating is bad at the moment so that makes me depressed, and then the depression makes me not eat. Just hope my appointment comes through soon.
Thanks for replying TD,
Hang in there. Depression stinks! It makes you tired, crabby, unhappy...well the list is endless. I was lucky, my daughter was never very curious as a toddler and she was pretty close to 3 when I put her in a toddler bed. Even then she really didn't venture much past her room. I have to keep my irratibility in check too. My daughter is 7 now but she likes to engage my bf in as many power struggles as she can every single day. It's not their faults but I really do get ****** easy and try not to raise my voice.
Men aren't always big on sensitivey (not male bashing just a biological generallization) I'm lucky, my bf is very sensitive and is very understanding and caring. Have you tried taking him with you to any of your docs appointments? Are there any support groups there that you guys may attend together. Perhaps, you could get some books or print some articles for him to read about your illness.
My main suggestion to you is to take at least .5 hour per day to yourself. Have a nice bath, read a book, do something that makes you feel good (even if it's just a little bit good ;0)) It is difficult to have a two year old and even more difficult to have a toddler and depression! Nurture yourself, and if you have no appetite try to eat at least some fruit, veggies, and some protein. I would also suggest just taking a minute "to catch your breath" while your little one is at the toddler group.
Hi Jade long time no see. I've been caught up in my own little world here lately and haven't been on the boards much. Sounds like you are having a pretty tough go of it. I just spent 5 days in the hospital about a week ago and I slept a whole 5 hrs the whole 5 days I was there. I know how it is not getting your sleep. I just about lost my mind. The doctor even gave me a sleeping pill while I was there and that didn't do anything for me. My nerves were shot now I'm on xanax and that seems to help alot. TD is right about writing down all your thoughts and questions before you go to the doc. I did it and I thought it helped with our conversation quite a bit. And I didn't forget to ask him something that way. I always go to the doc. and leave forgeting to ask him something. I hope you get to that doc of yours soon. you can sure use some help. I know it seems like a long time but hang in there until you get to see him. I know what you are going thru and I feel sorry for you. Please hang on and come to us if all else fails.
Thankyou for the kind words. Last night I went to bed at 10.30 pm and slept till 8 am. I can't remember when I did that before.
As for hubby he doesn't understand depression or even wants to, he thinks it means that I amm mad. He packed his bags last weekend and said that he was going. For once I didn't try to stop him, I said fine go, because I couldn't cope with him being a prat as well as trying to deal with this depression, anyway he decided that he loves me and didn't go. I hate having to his my feelings from him, but he's older than me, and old fashioned to be taught that any kind of mental illness is the worst, and you never talk about it. So there is no way he'd go to a group meeting, besides I'd not be able to talk properly if he ws there.
Anyway I am going to London today, so that should bring my blood pressure up, the noise the traffic, But then I love people watcking and in London we have some strange looking people, and the usually have pink and green hair.
in cherokee culture the uncle raises the kid. maybe a church could help.ever seen the vineyard churches? im single ,47 single man never had kids.i can barely take care of myself.i dont know what takes away my energy or ? i guess im schizoid.do you feel the high tax in uk gives you back stuff from goverment?being overtaxed would make me tired /depressed
Hi there, I have a great husband but he doesnt understand how I feel either, he just lets me get on with it all. I think maybe the men in our lives might feel a bit guilty that it is their fault that we are depressed. Although I have chronic back pain and that is my reason. I told my husband that surely he could understand that having pain for 5 years could upset you!!! Go and watch your little child sleeping. My 8 year old is hard work during the day but at night sleeping I think what an angel she looks. Dont waste your time feeling grotty, your baby will grow up fast and you will want happy happy happy memories.