GlittRBabY00

hi! i am 16 years old! i am a beautiful girl i know that but i am heavily overweight 350lbs. i have a huge heart and i love kids and volunteering to help mentally challenged adults etc..i have never had a boyfriend... ive never even kissed a boy i flirt and am definitally into guys.i know that but i am so insecure. i have been scarred for life by my family and their stupid beliefs that if u are over 10 lbs then u are disgusting and not to mention my father sexually abused me when i was young. I havent been able to let my guard down to guys either that or i do it too easily and end up giving too much away and getting hurt! i have found i have a bad taste in guys i always go for the cute bad boys (thugs) they end up being really cute and popular and they only wanna be my friend when their friends arent around. it hurts so bad i cant get anyone to love me i am so depressed because i am soo needy with people especially guys. i end up scaring them away. please help me there is so much to tell and im sure this letter doesnt make much sense without all that other info but i just dont know where to start please help me i need it
thnx Cort