I hope I haven't got on anyones nerves this week with any of my posts (I did change my mind about one of my posts but couldn't delete it, then some bouncing blobs got into my hard drive <IMG SRC="http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/wink.gif">!!!!!(lol) <IMG SRC="http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/bouncing.gif"> <IMG SRC="http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/bouncing.gif">
Anyway, today I started replying to ffsmith as I think I can relate a bit to their feeling of misunderstanding with their psychologist, but I ended up writing a book, so I decided to write some of it here instead.
I didn't have a very unhappy childhood like some of the people here did, as I wasn't seriously molested or physically abused, but I did have a rather "unusual" childhood shall we say. Very briefly, it was characterised by deceit... my father was a serial womaniser, a verbal bully and extremely deceitful.
I might have bored some of you by now by mentioning the therapist I saw a few times, but basically I had a series of misunderstandings with him, which led to frustration and aggrevation on both our parts. I believe that a good therapist needs to be in control of their emotions, both positive and negative, in their relationship with their "clients", at least most of the time. But the therapist I saw was less than competent in that area, I feel. Put bluntly, he was verbally abusive.
I do believe that the vast majority of therapists are kind, caring, competent, sensitive and compassionate. I am in no way anti-therapist, and I do not want to put anyone off who may be considering therapy, or who is "in therapy" at the moment.
I realise that I was probably an extremely frustating "patient" at times. I do not blame the therapist who I saw, because as a (reasonably!!!) intelligent individual who has free will, I could have broken off the therapy at any time. Those of you who are familiar with "transference" however, might, like me, feel that things are not always so easy, although they are of course possible.
Anyway, I think that is enough waffle about me for now. I just felt like opening up a bit and sharing a bit of my story.
Hi fuzzy bear, and thanks for your reply in my post
I know all about deceptive fathers. Mine will do and say anything to get his way. I do not trust a word he says.
Therapy can only do so much. Even the therapists say that.
There comes a point when 1 hour every week is just not going to do any more good at least that has been my experience.
I think the psychoanalysts spend a lot of time and training on controlling their emotions and staying open minded and separating their emotions from your problems. Today Psychoanalysis is not as popular as cognitive and behavioral therapy and self help. And of course they are very expensive, but I always thought in that respect they had the right idea.
Like you say compassion and sensitivity are required.
Thank you both for your replies <IMG SRC="http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/smile.gif">
Simby------ thanks for your kind words, and hugs always help!
ff-------Thanks, and it is good to hear from someone else who has a deceptive father. I have always felt very alone with the sort of family I have... although there are some other people on here who I can relate to in some ways with their "toxic" families.
If you want to talk more about your family etc. I would be happy to listen.
What you said about psychoanalysts is interesting. I saw a clinical psychologist, and I would have been better seeing either a psychoanalyst or .... anyway someone other than him...
Fuzzy x<p>[This message has been edited by Fuzzy Bear (edited 07-26-2002).]