I'm 22, I've been diagnosed with depression since I was maybe 14 and I've seen several doctors between then and now, off and on, trying to find a way to cure it. Basically I've shut myself in, I'm antisocial, I have anger issues, I have suicidal and homicidal thoughts which isn't why I'm posting this (I call the suicide hot-line when I think I'm in trouble) and now that I don't have a job, I have no way of helping myself. Medicine is the only thing that's helped before. Psychologists haven't helped, trying to find a religion hasn't helped, self mutilation never helped (which is a good thing) and the only thing that has helped are playing video games and watching T.V. and movies. I'm in a spot where I want to find a job so badly but at the same time, I really don't. I can't bring myself to go out, I'm in pain because of a back injury from my last job and I feel my world is crumbling down around me.
I guess what I'm looking for are ways to give myself more energy so I can get up and do something. Perhaps small at first like cooking for me and my fiance, cleaning the house a little, getting out for some exercise which I know can help but I can't bring myself to do being a smoker who can't do anything for himself.
Is there any food I can eat, numbers I can call, some way that I can find the help I need and get back on my feet? Something free that I can use until I get a job? Please help me!
I think you have chosen a good option by coming here. I am not sure about call lines in the USA but in UK there are help lines for people who are in need to talk to someone. Things can be very hard as you can see but think of performing an external activity as a way of breaking away from your normal line of activities. With your back pain, it makes things a little more difficult but there should be a way for you to leave the house, otherwise you will need some form of therapist/physician to help you with your recovery and day to day activity
Let me know if this helps. Thanks
The Following User Says Thank You to keenobserver For This Useful Post: NeoGriim (10-23-2010)
Thanks, I've been trying to get up and out of the house, it's just so hard to actually get up... Last time I left I think it was for my doctors appointment which was almost 2 weeks ago... I'm trying really hard but every time I think about it I find a way to procrastinate, such as checking my email which leads to something else and soon I forget that I was even going to get up. I'm going to keep trying and I posted looking for someone that could help with that aspect... For some reason no matter how much I want to get up and be active, I just can't seem to bring myself to do so.
Your way wont work because you are not planning to go anywhere. If you were to plan to visit a family member, a doctor or do a bit of shopping then that will help. So you can leave the house to buy yourself something like a chocolate or a lunch meal from a department store which is not expensive. Once you achieve this, there will be new things for you to be excited about and eventually always want something. This means that you will be going to shops every week possibly. Let me know how it goes. Thanks