Thank you SO much for writing me back. Everything you said makes sense. You seem to be VERY wise for your age,I am 45 and I wish I had you to talk to a LONG time ago!! I wanted to ask you when people find out you are depressed do they treat you differently? Most people I meet do but I can't help how I feel. Once again thanks for writing back I hope to hear from you soon. TAKE CARE!!
Well to answer your question, I don't really know if people treat me different or can see my depression. I think I manage to hide it fairly well when I have to be out and about. See what I do is keep to myself most of the time so it's hidden. It's like a double edge sword- I stay alone in part to hide my depression, but by being so alone my depression gets worse. It's like a vicious cycle. I'm realizing that I need to break it, but it is so hard and often I sit literally not knowing what to do.
Maybe the key is to set small goals that can at least be attainable. If that can be maintained for a bit then maybe that horrible paralyzed feeling will start to lessen.
Maybe if we share ideas for small goals and post about it that will help? It's worth a try.
I'll start. My work has been very slow and I've been in the house way to much. The weather is cold and there isn't really any place to go, BUT I can see being a recluse like this is NOT helping... so today my goal is to go out, go to the grocery store and get something decent to cook later. I am going to try and interact with the people I come into contact with- even if it is just to say - "how's it going" or "have a good day"... so- three tiny goals- get out of the house, have some interaction, and then try to enjoy cooking--- which I like to do, but often don't when I am severely depressed. I will let you know how it goes.
How about you?
The following user gives a hug of support to Pippy1224: laneebm (01-16-2011)
I can totally relate to what you feel. Although maybe my circumstances are slightly different. For I chose or have chosen, and I think for the wrong reasons to cut myself off from society and family. Mainly because I don't feel worthy.
Just want to say you are not alone and there is help out there.... Find something positive to focus on, a picture, a passed good memory.
Don't give up, it's hard and it helps to let your emotions flow!!!!!!
This is my first time writing on this site, and certainly no expert, but please keep writing to anybody... vent your feelings... it's a start!!! love to you... you are important x
The Following User Says Thank You to elle1bee2 For This Useful Post: laneebm (01-16-2011)
That is how I feel tonight. Depressed and alone.. I am alone right now.. DH is out in town.. But I just feel soo down.. Haven't felt like that in a while.. I know every now and then depessed people will feel this way.. I have had depression for a long time now.. At least 15 yrs..
I talked to my grown daughter a while ago. That helped some.. I guess I am also aggravated too.. It's just me and my cat right now.. Bless and animals good heart.. They love you no matter what..
If anyone else is feeling down/depressed tonight, I wish you the best.. I know how it feels.. Feel better soon..
Oh, yes I can relate to this.. I don't live in my hometown anymore either.. And I have made no friends here in town.. Where I work, I have 1 or 2 friends.. But we don't visit outside of work.. Unfortunately..
I know what loneliness feels like too. Even though I am married for 15 yrs. now..
I know what it feels like.. Wishing the best for you.. And for myself.. Take care..
Hi thanks for writing me back. Since the first of the year I have made a promise to myself that I WOULD MAKE mayself do better than I did last year. I have a tendency to shut myself away from all people including my husband. But I REALLY have surprised myself how much I have been out and about this year. I also will NEVER forget where I've been in my life in the past with my depression and all of the different meds I have been on that didn't work for me. I know its by the grace of GOD that I am here today because if I had of had MY way I would have been gone from here a LONG time ago. Thanks for listening and remember I am here for you. TAKE CARE!!!
The following user gives a hug of support to tinkerbell45: maddysaur (01-25-2011)
I am so sorry to hear you are depressed and I can understand why, I also battled to make friends when I moved to a new town, but I eventually decided to join a dance studio nearby and I can't tell you what it's done for me. I resently celebrated my birthday and I had 30 guest join me, all ecept 4 of them were friends I met at dancing. If you can't find anything like that to join, then why not start a book club or a dinner club, try inviting people that you are acquainted with and ask them to invite there friends too. All you need is one good friend and you will feel better.
The following 2 users give hugs of support to: mtzleigh maddysaur (01-25-2011), tinkerbell45 (01-22-2011)
Humans thrive when they're around people. Bonds between people, friends, and yourself is the #1 thing that can make anyone happy. What you're going through is natural. It's showing that you feel alone. Which is normal. Being alone or let alone THINKING/feeling like you're alone is even worse.
You should talk to your husband about it, or spend some more time with him. He is a form of company. Yes, you probably see him very often, but nothing beats a nice date.
A vacation anywhere(close by) like a near by hotel, somewhere that you're not home, but not too far away would work best. It would deconfine you and give you the oportunity to meet people that you've never met.
Hope I helped, Maddy(:
The following user gives a hug of support to maddysaur: tinkerbell45 (01-24-2011)
Don't get upset with yourself. The ability to make friends is not easy for everyone. I know for me, it's like climbing a mountain in the middle of a blizzard! For me, making friends is so scarey. What if they don't like me? What if I say or do the wrong thing? What if they think I'm crazy? It's a lot of work to keep what's going on inside of me a secret. I don't want people to know that I have 1001 thoughts flying through my head at any given moment. And it's so hard to focus and listen to someone when my mind will just not shut off! The thoughts keep coming so how am I suppose to be able to listen to a friend when I can't stop all the random thoughts.
I guess what I'm trying to say is....friends are scarey for a bipolar. It's not our fault. It's something that we can't always control. Find a friend online. Maybe someone you can eventually chat with on the phone. Do what you can and don't expect so much from yourself. Don't beat yourself up when you feel like hiding from the world. I read some of the other responses and I'll share my secret hiding place with you. The bathroom! I hide in bathrooms. No windows and a locked door seem to make me feel a bit safer. A bit calmer. And I've learned not to beat myself up when I need to hide. Hiding can sometimes stop me from falling over the "edge" into a world of dark bipolar fears. So 20 minutes hiding in the bathroom is a small price to pay inorder to stay in the sunshine and not go to my dark places.