Re: I'm having the toughest time of my life........need help with an anti-depressant.
This may be a long shot, however; perhaps worth asking your M.D. about it. Trazadone is one of the oldest antidepressants still around, yet it is an excellent sleep aide-however it is not classified as an SSRI (at least I am fairly sure of that, as I am currently taking it with out any side-effects). Almost all of the SSRI's have some very unplesant side effects -- weight gain is at the top of the list for sure. One of the negative aspects of Trazadone, however, when used as an antidepressant, is that the therapeutic dose is between something like 350-600 mgs/night. However, as used to help you sleep, it's a much lower dose.
You sound like you are going throught a very, very stressfull time and may need more than just one type of medication to see you thought it.
Good luck. Sorry about your fathers condition.