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Old 02-16-2011, 12:26 PM   #1
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Linny48 HB User
Lost for years

I am a 62 year old woman who has fought depression, anxiety and agoraphobia most of my life. Of course, when I was young, these conditions weren't diagnosed so I was labeled as a "bad actor". My parents tried to change me by buying me things. As we all know that doesn't work. I had an abuse marriage that lasted 32 years. In 1991, I had a major depressive episode and had to quit work. I saw many doctors and therapists but I never really got better. I describe my condition as being like living in a lake. Sometimes, I am at the bottom of the lake, digging around in the sand. Other times, it gets worse than that and I am under the sand on rock. At those time, I am often suicidal. I have tried suicide twice. In 2000, my husband walked out on my for a woman 15 years younger than me. I was left with 100 cows and calves to look after as well as several horses. I had another major depressive episode and had to rely on others to help me. A person I had known as my farrier for many years moved in and started helping me. Shortly, she started verbally abusing me. I would do anything thing she wanted to not be yelled and sworn at. Her purpose was to get money out of me. She manage to get $120,000. before my daughter stepped in. In 2009, when my daughter found out what was going on I had another major depressive episode. My Psyiatrist talked me into having ECT. That was a complete mistake. I have lost alot a my memory and still find myself to be very forgetful. At this time, we are suing the woman who got my money and it is very stressful. Since 2000, when my husband left, my agaraphobia has been severe. I do not leave the house except for Dr. appointments and only if someone takes me. Right now, in my lake, I have paddled part way up in the water and I think it is due to new drugs (cipralex and abilify). I would love to talk to others in similar circumstances

 
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Old 02-18-2011, 01:08 AM   #2
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keenobserver HB Userkeenobserver HB Userkeenobserver HB Userkeenobserver HB Userkeenobserver HB Userkeenobserver HB User
Re: Lost for years

Hi,
You sound like you are in a very unfortunate situation. This may sound like a frustrating question but what do you enjoy doing? You were working for a while from what you have mentioned, perhaps you can do something similar again. The farming business is putting a heavy load on your already hard shoulders. Perhaps you can get rid of some of it by selling it to someone else or put it all in your daughters name. Just an option.

 
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