i miss my mum
she passed away last february, two days after my 22nd birthday, and my ex girlfriend, who has autism cheated on me nine times (that i know of) the most recent of which was while we were up in darwin attending my mums funeral.
i haven't been able to sleep right for months, not that i've ever had a healthy sleeping pattern. if i didn't have such a sore stomach right now i'd be 100% numb. i'd known my mother was sick with hep c since a very young age, and understood that she would eventually die. especially since she never stopped drinking, so i was prepared. but that doesn't really make it any easier to deal with.
on mothers day my aunty got so drunk and abused < edited > me and accused me of stealing rent money off her (which she later found the next day in her piggy bank) mums birthday was bearable, the "auntagonist" and i hD cake.. thank you to my amazing big sister for warning me that both occasions would be fast approaching. love you sis.
how am i meant to cope with this god-awful grief? i don't want to be numb.
and how do you make friends, when you hate everyone?