Why can't I be normal.
I accept that I am me.
However, I feel that I want to be normal.
I Want to give back half of the hand I was dealt with.
I am happy with half of my life, I love my husband I like my job, but.... the but just seems to get bigger.
I was told I can't concieve a child naturally, I'm fat but I can't loose any of it, i have PCOS I have had heavy and painful periods, I'm off work sick because of them, (which isn't good for my career) I want to vent my sadness through crying but I don't want to burdon my husband as what I feel I'm going through may be seen as silly, or stupid. I can see myself withdrawing from him but I dont want this (what ever this is) to affect us as I love him very much.
I'm stuggling to write this without tears rolling down my face, I try to think to myself my life isn't as bad as others other people have more stressfull lifes, why can't I just be happy with what I've got. other part of me say ur low get help, but what happens if I can't concieve and can't have a baby and opts to adopt and can't cos i have suffered from depression or anxiety then whats the point. Do I struggle, Do I ask for help or do I just give up.
I think I'm just being silly, and I need to grow up and act my age, sometimes I feel I want to just crawl up into a small ball and hide.
Sometimes I think normal is the way to go and other times I need to feel normal.
From ME x