I don't know what to do
What about a guy who has never been happy?? if there were happy moments it would definitely be mixed with tears... when i was a kid and my family buy new furniture, I keep looking at the new furniture with hope that i would be never be beaten or traumatized on it unlike the old one which i hate. When i laugh in a happy hour i stop in the middle of it realizing that i would pay back days of agony in return and that always happen. i have worked as a teacher where I did all of my best for the students and i got stones thrown on me with insults in return. I worked as a receptionist where some people think they feel free to insult you. I don't know what to do in my life. I am just desperate. May be because i look good people think i am weak and stupid. I am thinking of building muscles, so some stupid people show some respect and thats the only way getting out of this.