I have dealt with depression for years. Now that I'm on doxepin, the episodes are not as traumatic as they once were, but they can still be debilitating. In the past I have had depressed episodes because of things that have occurred while on trips. Now every time we schedule a vacation trip I automatically go into a depressed "spell." I have no anticipation or excitement about anything in life, especially what we're planning on doing during the trip. It's like this pall has just settled in my chest. I dread everything. When I'm not like this I'm extremely happy. Will I ever be able to stop this cycle of self-fulfilling prophecy? Can anyone relate?
Will I ever be able to stop this cycle of self-fulfilling prophecy? Can anyone relate?
Hello Virginia Baby.
I think you can put an end to your cycle of self-fulfilling prophecy, though it may require a lot of work and patience. I can relate to being stuck in this type of cycle. Sometimes I get stuck in this cycle because I don't want to be caught off guard by the worst-case scenario or because I want some sort of justification for feeling lousy. What I find useful to change my thinking is to question the accuracy of such thoughts and to acknowledge that just because bad things can happen doesn't necessarily mean that they will. I think something else to consider is sometimes our anticipation of unpleasant circumstances is worse than the event itself.
Are you seeing a therapist? I think talking to a therapist would be a good way to establish the groundwork to break out of the cycle of self-fulfilling prophecies.
Thanks. It's really not that I'm anticipating anything bad happening. The trigger while on the other vacations was usually internal-some random thought that popped up in my brain and caused me to panic. My greatest fear seems to be fear itself. We're going to an event this weekend that is the culmination of a lifelong dream for my husband---my greatest fear is that I'll ruin it for him by being in one of my "spells." So, what do I do? I get in a "spell" because I'm anticipating a "spell."
Usually such a thing happens because as you said you get reminded of traumatic events which represents something that happened in the past that you avoid or is very unpleasant. Perhaps the thing you can think about is why it all started, what the fear is and the consequences of being in a holiday. By not fully understanding your issues you are avoiding them and hence avoiding the prospect of something very wonderful in a vacation.
Let me know what you think. Thanks