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Old 03-31-2012, 07:40 AM   #1
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I need some help

I need some help. I don't know what is going on with me, but I know something is just not right. I'm new to this so I'm hoping for the best. I am going to try and just get to the point, as i could go on and on with all the in betweens, but I don't know if that's necessary. Basically, I am 26, married, and a stay at home mom with a 5 year old son.

I have a constant feeling of exhaustion. Everything I do feels like very hard "work", from putting on my shoes, to cooking, and even walking to and getting ready for bed. I always feel angry, frustrated and annoyed at pretty much everything. I don't feel like having friends or going out. I hate even thinking about doing some of the things I used to love.

I am always lonely. I want more than anything to feel motivated to further my education or at least work. There are so many more things I could go on about but these are my main everyday struggles.

Am I depressed, anxious, insecure, ignorant, or what? Is this a normal phase of life? I don't want to feel like this, so the worst part of it all is I don't have the energy/will power to even call and make an appointment to see if I can get help.

Any advice? Very much appreciated!!!

 
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Old 03-31-2012, 09:36 AM   #2
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Re: I need some help

Hello Manda2of6.

I think it's quite likely you're suffering from depression. I don't think there is anything normal about frequently being exhausted, unmotivated and not wanting anything to do with people.

Could you ask your spouse or a close family member for help with making an appointment? What pushed me to finally get help was being tired of feeling miserable and hopeless about trying to get better. I set a date and time to call for help and I made myself stick to doing it despite the mixed emotions I had about asking for help.

Even though taking the first step to get help feels like an insurmountable task, you may feel a great deal of relief after taking the first step to regain your liveness.

I hope you're feeling better soon.

 
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Old 03-31-2012, 01:03 PM   #3
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Re: I need some help

Manda, you have the symptoms of anxiety and depression. When feelings of anxiety, sadness, insecurity, self-doubt, etc arise, you can enquire into what it is that is causing you to have these feelings. In other words, what are the thoughts passing through your mind that are triggering these feelings? Through this enquiry, you can become aware of what are the underlying problems/issues which your mind is experiencing. And then, once you are clearly aware of the problems that are causing you to feel anxious and depressed, you can work cognitively and behaviorally to resolve these problems rationally.

Every problem may involve things that are within our control and things that are not within our control. Regarding everything that is not within our control, we need to re-condition our minds to not argue with them. What is, is. But what is within our control is how we choose to think and act through each moment. This is where we, who struggle with depression, ought to focus our attention, on thinking and acting as well as we can, because here lies our only power. Most of our suffering in life is created by the negative ways we respond to life's challenges. This we ought to transform, so that little by little we gain the strength to think and act in ways that help us.

Another thing I would suggest to help increase energy, motivation, and mental wellness is exercise. I don't know if you exercise now. But, if you don't, I would suggest working out at a gym four days a week, for 1 to 2 hours a time. There are group programs also, like yoga, which can be helpful. This will help increase energy, motivation, general well-being, and greater clear-mindedness.

Change begins with the small positive steps forward. Take care.

 
Old 03-31-2012, 02:45 PM   #4
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Re: I need some help

I can't tell you how much you have lightened my day just by reading and responding to my thread. I think I feel very isolated, and don't think people could understand that my feelings are not just excuses, this is real for me. I have talked to a few people, my husband doesn't think there is an issue, he thinks it's in my head and I am being lazy(which I do feel, at times). I have always thought that there are not people that are going through this. I have grown up seeing therapists and have felt "smarter" if you will, because I felt I always knew what they'd say. And they say to do things that seem obvious, and if I could do them I would. So, it makes me feel very apprehensive.

Have you suffered from depression. And if you don't mind me asking, what is it that helped you fight it? I am at the point where I feel there isn't anything I can do so why bother trying. The reason I joined health boards is to see if anyone can relate, and in turn, got through it. I just need to know and believe there is a way to feel different. Because right now I do not.
again, thank you!!

 
Old 03-31-2012, 03:21 PM   #5
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Re: I need some help

I'm glad to hear my post has helped to improve your day.

Yes, I've suffered from depression. What has helped me to get through is therapy, anti-depressants, spending time with my sister, reading about depression and how people got through it as well as keeping myself busy.

For me the big thing about therapy is having a therapist who listens to me and understands me. I've found it's not so much just the knowledge my therapist has that helps me, but having a different perspective on my depression and problems. I think it comes down to developing the coping strategies that works for the individual for managing depression.

I can relate to the feelings of hopelessness and helplessness that can accompany depressive feelings. It certainly didn't help me to know that it would take several weeks or more for anti-depressants (assuming I would find one suitable for me) and that therapy can also be a long process for it to work effectively. I just wanted the pain and the burden to be gone just like that. It was quite frustrating to feel my mood wasn't improving or that my medication wasn't working for me.

If you do decide to see a therapist and/or doctor I recommend telling them as much as you feel comfortable sharing. I think just by spending time with professionals who think you can get better helps out a little, even though you may believe nothing will help or change your life for the better. I think one of the first steps I took was acknowledging my life could be better even though I couldn't envision it and I didn't believe it was likely to happen. I think small little steps like that is what it takes to recover from depression.

 
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Old 03-31-2012, 07:17 PM   #6
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Wink Re: I need some help

Just speaking with you alone has already been able to make me feel somewhat even validated for the way I have felt.I have gone back and forth on whether or not there is even something wrong with me, or if im just fabricating it all and or it's just what im telling myself to make me feel better for the way my life has been for so long. I have constant negative feelings toward the things that people say may help. I always say, well they don't really know what's going on so how could they possibly know how to help, therapists included. I think I have a little anxiety as well from all these things tied together. But, I do have a friend who is someone who really seems to get it, and is really encouraging me to take that first step. I will do some research, and def read a lot more of what to do about depression instead of always just researching about depression, those sites seem to make me feel somewhat worse so that probably wasn't the best idea it's just scary, and I question myself on whether it's a waste only because I know it's something I'd have to work on everyday, and that seems a little overwhelming and I lack the confidence(lack of a better word) in myself to keep up with it. I also used to be a very strong willed person that could handle anything so if I can get through it, I will know there isn't anything I can't do. Again, I appreciate you!! And I will def focus on the positive and work on changing the fact that I feel things can't get better! Not sure where you are from, but do you recommend any type of therapist that you think would be beneficial to what I am going through? Psychologist, psychiatrist..etc!

Thank you!!

 
Old 03-31-2012, 08:21 PM   #7
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Re: I need some help

I had similar thoughts going through my head prior to and after making the first call. I thought I should be able to pull myself together and get out of the emotional mess I was in, but no matter how hard I tried I was still stuck. I remember thinking if only I stopped being lazy and tried hard enough to change I would stop feeling miserable and get on with my life. This ended up with me only feeling worse because I failed to put forth enough effort to break out of the cycle.

The type of therapist I'm seeing and would recommend for you is a psychologist who specializes in cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT). Since you've already seen therapists before you may already be familiar with CBT. If you are not though, CBT focuses on trying to restructure your thought patterns to a more positive perspective.

I got an appointment scheduled with my therapist after talking to my employee assistance program about the problems I was facing. If you're unsure of what therapist to call I suggest asking your friend or your family doctor for a referral.

I haven't seen a psychiatrist as I don't think it's necessary for me. I initially saw my family doctor for medication and after a few months of limited success he referred me to a psych nurse to see if she would have more success with finding the right combination of medication for me. I wouldn't recommend seeing a psychiatrist initially as they tend to be more expensive than other medical professionals and if they have a long waiting list you may have to wait a while before you can see one.

 
Old 04-01-2012, 10:32 AM   #8
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Re: I need some help

Okay, thank you again. And I think what I am going to do is talk to a reliable person in my life to help me out. Possibly ask them to basically force me to find a therapist. The one thing that seems to push me toward doing te things I would not otherwise do is when someone is breathing down my neck until I get it done! It causes such anxiety that I want more than anything to get it over with! I'm going to call her now, and hope for the best! And I'll post how it goes I wish I could change my mood on here to hopefull because I'm getting to the point where I actually am starting to believe I'm not alone and others have fought through the same thing!!! Eek, very excited, need to take advantage of it before it goes away again, lol. Thanks again for your input!!!!

 
Old 04-03-2012, 01:06 AM   #9
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Re: I need some help

Manda,
One of my friend advised me to try St John's wort pills combined with ayurvedic herbs. also trying to do some meditations and yogic breathing which has helped me a lot. I doing much better and positive hopefully I can completely overcome my depression for good.

Claire

 
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