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Old 06-20-2012, 03:12 PM   #1
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Unhappy I want to be happy im tired of feeling this way

Im 24 female. I have been depressed for as long as i can remember. i tried taking antidepressants when i was 18 and they made me a little wierd my family told me i needed to stop taking them so i did and never tried anything since. Im just so tired of feeling and thinking like this. I cut my self from 12 to 15 until my parents found out and think about doing it but i dont want anyone to see and I attempted over dose at 17 on tylonal pm but threw them all back up and have never told anyone. Im tired of being depressed and i want to be happy. I want to talk to someone who will listen and i dont have anyone that wont tell the whole world. I am just loooking for advice to be happy please any suggestions ??

 
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Old 06-20-2012, 03:18 PM   #2
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Re: I want to be happy im tired of feeling this way

I'm sorry you're in such pain, honey. Since you are 24 now, and an adult, my best advice is to see a therapist to talk over your issues, and see if they think it's a good idea for you to try medication again.
I wish you the very best.

God bless, Sue

 
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Old 06-20-2012, 03:28 PM   #3
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Re: I want to be happy im tired of feeling this way

I am waiting for my old doctor to accept me so could see if he could refere me to someone but i called today and they said it would take up to 3 weeks before they even called me about an appointment. I wouldnt have no idea of who to go see or make an appointment with and even if i decided i wanted to go talk to someone i dont drive and i dont want to tell anyone so i wouldnt have a way to get there

 
Old 06-20-2012, 07:14 PM   #4
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Re: I want to be happy im tired of feeling this way

It's really good that you are beginning to reach out. I am a licensed therapist and a professor of psychology, and all the research points to both counseling and antidepressant medication together as having the best outcomes for major depression. You're not alone and you don't have to live like this. There is help out there. Please do not wait. Make sure to interview the therapist to see if you he/she is a good fit for you (can she/he understand you, does she have experience in you particular situation). Good luck to you.

 
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Old 06-22-2012, 05:48 AM   #5
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Re: I want to be happy im tired of feeling this way

Hey honey,
I just wanted to send you words of encouragement.
I was depressed for so long, I didn't even think being happy was a possibility for me. I had tried the anti-depressants before, But they made me manic and did far more harm than good. I took St. Johns Wart with a little better success. But I remember at 24 the depression was just to much for me. Therapists only wanted to put back on anti-depressants and other medications, AA seemed like a cult more than a support group and my family really didn't understand what I was going through enough to help me. I had finally decided to set a date and started planning for the end. I was just ill and tired and I saw no way out....

But of course I'm still here. It's actually only been 4 years (I'm only 28) but within the last year or so my depression has completely lifted. I finally believe I've figured out how to maintain a sense of well being and I am happy. I never even thought I could be happy. I spent almost 15 years feeling hopeless. Even as I right this I feel so happy I could cry.

So, my words of encouragement are, there is some reason you are depressed. You have to figure it out. If you're mentally fit (you like yourself, you're in a job you enjoy, you're in a healthy relationship with your significant other) than there's something else environmental maybe. The foods you're eating, lack of exercise, taking energy supplements, to much processed foods. If you're eating all the right foods then maybe you're not fulfilled in your soul. Do you volunteer as much as you want? Are you leading an exciting life? Do you want to go back to college?
Figuring these things out will help you and you can be free one day. I hope I don't' sound to much a like a hippy and I'm in no way a professional (obviously) I just want to let you know that there is relief.

 
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Old 06-22-2012, 07:25 PM   #6
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Re: I want to be happy im tired of feeling this way

Quote:
Originally Posted by 24withpcos View Post
Im 24 female. I have been depressed for as long as i can remember. i tried taking antidepressants when i was 18 and they made me a little wierd my family told me i needed to stop taking them so i did and never tried anything since. Im just so tired of feeling and thinking like this. I cut my self from 12 to 15 until my parents found out and think about doing it but i dont want anyone to see and I attempted over dose at 17 on tylonal pm but threw them all back up and have never told anyone. Im tired of being depressed and i want to be happy. I want to talk to someone who will listen and i dont have anyone that wont tell the whole world. I am just loooking for advice to be happy please any suggestions ??
Hey there 24

I'm here and believe you me,i'll listen.
Feel free to tell me anything.
I've been to heck and back and returned and got kicked out for enjoying myself too much.

Just trying to lighten the mood.
I just want the best for you and if it will take 3 weeks,then let's chat for 3 weeks;or as long as it takes.
I'll commit,if you will.

Respectfully
Phoenix
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Old 07-05-2012, 12:19 AM   #7
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Re: I want to be happy im tired of feeling this way

@LeahFaith, congratulations on getting better! Can I please ask why you think you got better? As in was that you just wanted to get better, medication or CBT or anything else? I have been in therapy for approx. 2.5 months and been on medication since January and am finding no improvement whatsoever. My depressive symptoms are just exactly the way they were prior to medication and the medication is perhaps only masking the depression.
Thanks!

 
Old 07-06-2012, 01:51 AM   #8
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Re: I want to be happy im tired of feeling this way

Beachlove,
I didn't do the medications because they made me much worse. I did take St. Johns Wort for a few years and it took the edge off. It didn't make me better, but it helped me focus on getting better.

So, this is going to sound hokey and new age, but honestly, the reason I'm better is because I changed my diet.
When I was 25 I read a book (Eating Animals) that talked about how sick the animals are that we eat and all the hormones and crap they put in them, so I stopped eating meat I started feeling better physically. I wasn't so tired all the time and I started having a lot of energy.
( I still indulge in a cheeseburger everyone and a while)

I used to drink a lot of sugar-free soda. I few months after I stopped eating meat, I went through a period where I was drinking 3 or 4 of them a day and my mood swings got a lot worse. I put 2 and 2 together and decided that whatever was in the soda might be causing some of my problems so I cut them out of my diet and I started having less mood swings (my mood swings were really bad, i would be just sitting there, minding my own business, and all of a sudden I would feel like everything in the world was awful, there was no point in living and I should just lock myself in my room till I wasted away.)

Within the last year or so I stopped working and started going to school full time. One of positive changes this has allowed me is I'm now able to cook full meals for myself. I never knew how to cook before and all my meals came out of a box in the freezer or in a can. Now most of my meals consist of I've made myself. Usually vegetables with a grain or a starch (breads or pasta). I'm not Emeril or Paula Dean or anything, but I usually cook at least twice a day. Eggs for breakfast or lunch and a full meal at dinner. On a good day I'll have eggs for breakfast, a vegetable wrap for lunch, carrots or yogurt or toast for a snack and a veggie stir fry or bake for dinner.

That has been the biggest change in my life that I can directly correlate to me feeling better. I don't have mood swings anymore. I used to get anxiety going to the store or going to work! I don't get nearly as anxious as I used to, almost never. I can't actually remember the last time I got really anxious. I used to think about cutting myself all the time (was a cutter for years) and I never ever ever think about that anymore (that took therapy as well). I don't get mad like I used to, I don't cry like I used. I mean, I'm not like perfect, I still worry a lot. I still feel like I need to rearrange the furniture every month. I still don't feel like I fit in or whatever. But I'v found a sort of peace with who I am and I don't spend any of my energy worrying about how i'm going to get through the next year feeling as badly as I felt.

The past year has had me feeling better than I've felt since I was 10 years old.

I have to stress, too. I'm not a health nut either. As I type I'm eating strawberry flavored candies. Yesterday I went to a bbq and I drank two cans of soda and had a bunch of potato chips. But the difference between now and three years ago is drinking soda is a treat that I have once every month or so. I also did not cut back on drinking

Some people can't eat dairy because they can't digest it. Some people can't eat artificial sweeteners because it gives them migraines. I think that some people out there have a negative reaction to preservatives or some crazy chemicals found only in processed foods.

I'm not saying you should follow my example either and become a vegetarian and cook all your meals. But I am saying is there might be some type of foods that are making you depressed. If you do have a chemical imbalance, it might be caused by a preservative or chemical they put in the food.

Lol, I just realized I wrote you a novel! Sorry for the length. But I do hope it helps.
Good luck

 
Old 07-06-2012, 07:57 AM   #9
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Re: I want to be happy im tired of feeling this way

Quote:
Originally Posted by 24withpcos View Post
Im 24 female. I have been depressed for as long as i can remember. i tried taking antidepressants when i was 18 and they made me a little wierd my family told me i needed to stop taking them so i did and never tried anything since. Im just so tired of feeling and thinking like this. I cut my self from 12 to 15 until my parents found out and think about doing it but i dont want anyone to see and I attempted over dose at 17 on tylonal pm but threw them all back up and have never told anyone. Im tired of being depressed and i want to be happy. I want to talk to someone who will listen and i dont have anyone that wont tell the whole world. I am just loooking for advice to be happy please any suggestions ??
Hello 24withpcos

There are so many meds out there and no one says that you'll need to take a large dosage.
Now I don't know about the weirdness you speak of nor will I pry but maybe you can re-visit this with your prescribing physician and explain how those medications made you feel,if there were any side effects;whatever the case may be.

I want to see you a better,more relaxed and positively happy person.
It's going to take some work and if you're willing to put in the effort,you'll be surprised at what may be possible for you.
You never know unless you try.

Respectfully
Phoenix
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Old 07-07-2012, 11:28 PM   #10
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Re: I want to be happy im tired of feeling this way

your family were wrong to tell you to stop the medication,they should have supported you through the prosses of getting the medication and dossage right,
but its never to late,good luck and best wishes

 
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